/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>18097462
ONLY 3.2M UNEMPLOYMENT NUMBERS

fucking bull time, get rekt

first for me

Why did futures swing back toward the green

>>18097482
They don't release till 8:30 stupid bull

we're already in a hostile takover on synthetic smg

>>18097485
you wish little man

>>18097482
what would be relatively "high" unemployment numbers? SQQQ still going up, world still going down, stay tuned..

>>18097482
it's "only" 3.2 million because government workers are too swamped to process every claim

>>18097482
>ONLY ALL TIME HIGH UNEMPLOYMENT BEARKEKS BTFO
Lel you make me laugh

OOOOOOOOOOOO

>>18097504
https://www.zerohedge.com/personal-finance/record-xx-million-americans-just-filed-unemployment-benefits

>>18097504
its 8:44

>>18097497
because the fed as unlimited money to buy assets and securities. the 2 trillion stimulus plan hailed as historic when the fed is literally doing 2 trillion every night in purchases.

>He thought the jobless numbers weren't priced in

>>18097516
how the fuck is this pumping? Is it algos?

DOW will grow today by 2k points because Powell now will openly buy everything

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA PRINT FASTER WE NEED MORE GREEN DILDOS OR WE'RE GOING TO COLLAPSE

PUMP IS DYING


PUMP IS DYING


PUMP IS DYING

What's the unemployment rate with 3.2 million new unemployment?

>People are still in denial that "priced in" is a thing

is it bear time again or what?

line goes down now

>>18097509
These are high numbers

>Mfw futures are slowly realizing the numbers came out.

>>18097504
That was 15 minutes ago

Got all the buying out of your system now bulls?

>Mr. President, the stocks are faltering!
>Send in the wagies, they can keep working
>But Mr. President, won't they get sick and overwhelm the health care system?
>ICU beds, ventilators and masks cost money. Dying in your bed costs nothing!

>>18097521
>>18097527
fuck didn't realize it wasn't adjusted for my time zone

>>18097527
No, idiot, it's 6:47

>>18097462

It would actually be pretty damn tough to spot Hitler without the lil stache. He's a pretty unremarkable looking guy.

Unlimited Ammo lads. Bullish as fuck

>bloomberg, cnbc guests say this is all priced in now
this honestly sounds bearish to me

>>18097497
because it was PRICED. IN.

So are we going to talk about how Gov Newsom said there were over 1 million claims in California but only 180k in this report?

>>18097539

>>18097516
> Highest unemployment ever
>Economy still strong
The unemployment situation can literally only go up. This is rock bottom.

>>18097582
Unlimited money is priced in

>>18097594
They only just realized that california already had over a million permanently jobless people

>>18097584
Yellowstone erupting is priced in

It's all priced in. Only r*ddit cares about kung flu at this point. You missed the bottom.

>>18097550
>What's the unemployment rate with 3.2 million new unemployment?
Apparently that pushed the unemployment rate to ~5.5%

>3.2, not great not terrible

>>18097617
very based

Absolutely braindead retard bear niggers.

GG.

What should I try and sell my sqqq for Bros?

>>18097605
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/mar/25/california-coronavirus-unemployment-newsom

EVERYTHING IS FINE

Don't you do it bulls, don't you do it.

>>18097584
It unironically does. But maybe not for March 26..

>"Benchmark rice prices in Thailand have climbed to the highest since August 2013"
>Thailand will go back to its natural state as the cum dumpster of asia again
Based

News is out, market re-acted.
I was planning to go long and waited for this after the dip of crisis. Looks like the time is right to go in ?

BACK TO WORK WAGIES

>>18097580
BULLISH AF

WHY IS IT GOING UP I CAN'T UNDERSTAND

>>18097634
>this bull is delusional, get him out of here

>>18097647
Looks like Trump didn't want the actual numbers to be released

>>18097640
Futures are still red retard, ignore all the bull cope itt

>>18097605
>>18097594
This is only until last week

>>18097628
was it much less than that?

>>18097665
Because people are pretending to be retarded.

>>18097663
Retarded af

>ftfy

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>18097669
This is peak clown world.

>>18097617
im honestly starting to believe this after looking at the charts since 08.

>>18097602
No unemployment is only going to get worse from now to the bottom. Businesses are going to lay more people off as their purse strings get tighter

I've just about had it with FED printing fucking numbers into stonks to prevent them from dropping. How is 3.28 mil new unemployed people not crashing this shitty fucking market?

>>18097580
line go up stocks go up
retard bears go back to hibernate

wtf bros....the bulls won.....

Bears are delusional, they cant win against Powell and his printer, market will go up and up

wtf dow went 500 points up since the numbers came out...

>>18097637
reminder that bears were shilling that today was going to reach new lows all week

Priced in. Get fucked bears.

>>18097580
Priced in.

>>18097640
I want at least 32

Itt >omg guys is this the bottom

>>18097701
brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr haha

is the FTSE100 and DAX a good indicator of how the US markets will open?

is overtaking Italy & China by EoW priced in?

>>18097462
>calling people newfags
>keeping 100000 (embeds)
>not greentexting titles
shiggy diggy

>>18097665
because fed is printing money, and trump is promissing blowjobs from ivanka left and right. I don't know what's going on anymore

>>18097701
It's not real unemployment. Most of the the jobs should come back.

STOP SAYING PRICED IN ALREADY

>>18097726
compare dax with us futures, literally the same most of the time

>>18097726
Nothing is a good indication how US markets will behave. This is clown world market now.

>>18097710
The senate is going on recess until April. Why would the market go down? There's no second bailout coming. If the market goes down, they lose money, and the government won't be back for 1 month to pump them full of cash.

>>18097709
Remember joking about this when a candy bar costs ten dollars

KEEP PRINTING JEROME OR YOU WONT GET ANY TRUMPBUX BEFORE BED SWEATY

>>18097726
nah the US indexes do whatever the hell they want and the other indexes follow

>>18097747
but it is priced in, sorry to say

"Priced in"

Lol. It's just big-investors reeling in retail retards to pump more of their money into the markets so they can steal it.

>jobs report is priced in
>stimulus is priced in
damn bros, what are we going to do?

>p-priced in!! bull run now!

These newfags have never heard of

>Sell the news

>>18097747
>STOP SAYING PRICED IN ALREADY
Priced in.

*moons 10% today just because*

>>18097539
what is pumping.. the usd price of stonks?

you realise they printing trillions of usd right?

of course the usd price goes up

>>18097745
Yeah that's why they are just dumping loans into companies until the crisis is over. Hey, it's low interest! So who gives a fuck right. The machine keeps lurching forward.

I’m just gonna exit my sqqq position from yesterday pre market, it’s up like 20 cents, fuck this clown world market

>>18097537
>imagine believing anyone wants to hear what a felon has to say about things

or are you hoping eveyone has forgotten about your kiddie-diddling days again?

>>18097745
why the fuck do they have a statistic meassuring it since the 70s then?

>mfw watching red candles trying their hardest to go down but then a giant green dildo pops up on next tick

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THE PUMP IS NOT WORKING. PRINT MORE PRINT MORE PRINT MORE PRINT PRINT PRINT

>>18097739
>trump is promissing blowjobs from ivanka left and right
bullish as fuck

normal market predictions don't mean anything anymore, the fucking FED can just print the stock market out of any bad news.

and the best part? THE BEST THEY CAN DO IS A CRAB MARKET HAHAHAHAH SNIB SNAB

>>18097797
Why such soft hands anon

bro fuck cramer bro seriously

>>18097747
Your being buttblasted is priced in

I'm dead and this is hell

NO NO NO

WE GOT TOO COCKY BEARBROS

Is there any hope for bears if it opens green today?

I have 2k to blow on investing, I want long term and short term, what Should I get today? I’m 22 and a noob

>>18097810
i want sum of that tiffany

THIS CRASH IS PRICED IN RETARDS. STOP SELLING OR STAY POOR.

Is it time to go all in on QLD

>>18097815
It’s realistic hands, they’re going to finish green today ;-;

>>18097818
>If you are not optimistic you have your head in the sand
WHAT

>>18097796
So what? There's going to be 1 gigantic red candle to zero at some point, when the fucking merry go round runs out of steam?

How far are we into this crisis? Only a couple of weeks, right? Extremely bullish desu famalam.

FUCKING FED NIGGERS
Freemarket my ass

>>18097833
Hyperinflation crab market
Melts up

WTF that CNBC host is really cataloging his book shelves by colour. What a retard

>Kills hundreds
>Unsellable product
>Would be bankrupt if it made toothbrushes instead of military planes

>>18097747

>>18097839
1500 into long term blue chips. KO, GE, BA etc. Buy and forget about them for two years. 500 for options gambling so you're not bored.

>Only 3.3 million unemployed
Bullish, people were expecting it to be upwards of 4 mil with 20% unemployment. Market will easily go up today.

I FUCKING HATET THE FED
HOW CAN THEY GET AWAY WITH THIS MARKET MANIPULATION

Everything that can ever happen is now priced in. We now eternal crab market

>>18097866

>ungodly short squeeze and the realization that it can go nowhere but bailed out

>SQQQ keeps dropping to yesterday's low
rip

SO glad I bought calls yesterday. GET FUCKED BEARFAGS. AMERICA HATING LIBSHITS

>>18097826
we didn't, this is bad news regardless of how the market behaves. These people file for unemployment now, which burdens the system. And the companies will have to look for people to replace them eventually. Sure it increases their bottom line in short term, but how can you run a company without workers?

STIMULUS PASSING WAS PRICED IN
>STIMULUS PASSING WAS PRICED IN
STIMULUS PASSING WAS PRICED IN
>STIMULUS PASSING WAS PRICED IN
STIMULUS PASSING WAS PRICED IN
>STIMULUS PASSING WAS PRICED IN
STIMULUS PASSING WAS PRICED IN
>STIMULUS PASSING WAS PRICED IN
STIMULUS PASSING WAS PRICED IN

What's the CNBC live stream again?

S&P FUTURES GOING GREEN

BASED JEROME

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

>>18097844
You do realise they might want to shake out weak hands before the dump? try to fake a pump and then dump bitmex style?

how can anyone still be a bear at this point
news that the earth will crash into the sun next week is already priced in

>>18097895
You are absolutely retarded and the economy will crash whether you like it or not. Just because you are too young to remember that economies do in fact crash doesn't mean it wont. fucking zoomer.

>>18097885
That is precisely what the FED was created for.

>>18097580
Pretty bullish considering all things

Exited SDOW premarket. The bottom is in. The boomers own the WH and the Fed. They want their 401ks back. Fuck LA, NYC, and Xeattle r*dditors lmao

>>18097875
>GE
>long term blue chip
um

>>18097698
What about post-08 charts makes you think everything is priced in?

I am nervous about going bull now but relief rallies have typically lasted weeks to months, haven't they?

At some point there's going to be a deluded optimism that lasts weeks to months. Maybe less because this crash has been moving faster than previous ones. And because I'm not convinced there will be no panic when people start seeing videos of people dying in basketball courts converted to hospitals.

If that fear doesn't crash the relief rally though then I could see fed's massive pumping being an overreaction that turns this into a v-shaped recovery.

Remember the times it just crashed -5% in minutes?

i remember...

>>18097885
The brrrrrr sound is the Fed printing itself into insolvency and dollar death. Look for new dollar backed by a crypto/gold/silver weighted reissue at Easter

>all of this fed manipulation

can we go based to the days of based volcker? memespan ruined everything

>>18097902
LET THAT PRICE IN

>>18097896

All very good points, but can you please describe to me the sound a printing press makes?

I can't recall the sound.

Is it;

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ


or

BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPP

No...I just can't remember it at all. Can you?

>he didn’t buy the bottom

>>18097853
IT WILL DUMP

>>18097916
Yeah but this isn’t that this is a pump day

Damn 0 dollar cashflows really is bullish huh?????????????????????????????

>3 million unemployed, cases rising and a stimulus package that gives billions to irrelevant organizations because corruption

SO
UNBELIEVABLY
BULLISH

>>18097875
Thank you a lot Anon! With options, any reccomendations?

>unemployment numbers get released
>record high
>futures moon, almost green

>>18097875
>long term blue chips
>KO, GE, BA

>>18097886
Eternal bull*

>>18097944
it's the sound god's chosen people make when rubbing their hands together

>>18097866
they are the living breathing proof of what congressional bribery is capable of.

>>18097497
Because up to 4 mil unemployed was expected so already priced in, 3 mil unemployed is less than feared and stimulus is passing in few hours trump probably signs it today

>>18097959

You better believe it, Commie.

>>18097968
Clown market. Literally

Do I buy puts now or wait for the eotw? hmm

>>18097875
>GE
Don't look at how much they their have on the books, whatever you do. It's definitely not upwards of 50 billion...

Seriously, any fucking niggerbear still doesn't believe the priced in meme? Now you're just staring at your shitty fucking puts in disbelief, watching it bleed you dry while I keep posting priced in repeatedly like the bumbling retard I am but the price goes up anyway because FUCK YOU NIGGER

Price & In financial services.

How hard is it to start an OnlyFans and get lots of following? Is it financially viable? I've just lost all most of my savings and I don't want to get a job

From now on, only real bears in the market. Unlimited QE is priced in. We're still headed to RED. Over 180K in TVIX

>>18097977
STIMULUS PASSING IS ALREADY PRICED IN RETARD

ITS GREEN

This is fucking unbelievable.

>>18097977
it was expected by only one bank though wasnt it?

This is fucking bullshit, nothing about this market makes sense. How can Jerome get away with this bobos?

>>18097991
>>18097875
debt*

I think we're done bobros....

>>18097980
not letting businesses fail naturally seems pretty communist to me senpai

We're GREEN

God bless Saint Jerome.

How's is this shit not dumping

>>18097852
ROASTIES BTFO
NO MORE WAITRESSING FOR YOU
FUCK YOUR TIPS CUNT
AAHAHAHAHA
(I don't respect women by the way bros)

>>18098006
>World is a fuck
>Born to crash
>10000 million dead bulls

this is the kind of shit that gets people minecrafted

The worst financial news ever reported short of mass bankruptcies

>stonk go up

>>18097975
When I make a million dollars buying OTM bullish options on these worthless companies being saved by the government i'm going to have CLOWN MARKET tatood on my ass

>>18098017
ge is too big to fail trump will just steal money from wagecucks and pay off their debt with it

>it's green

In such an event this is like a dam collapsing. Does it really even matter how much water is released? Setting up a big squeeze skyward today imo.

bears just hold onto your SQQQ and shit - trust me. give it some weeks and months, it'll dip more

>You will never be promoted to a leadership position in a bluechip company due to nepotism that can LITERALLY never go bankrupt because bailouts

FED PUMPS TO CREATE BUYING PRESSURE FOR SMART INVESTORS TO FILL THEIR ORDERS

thats it i'm starting to hate america lads

>>18098019

That's where you're WRONG, Communist. Letting businesses fail and go bankrupt is exactly what the USSR did.

America isn't Communist. We won't let our best free market companies go bankrupt.

YAMEROOOOOOOOOO

It is now demonstrated that the stock market is not a market of price equilibration among buyers and sellers. It is a forum in which predators allow a herd to graze. Predators periodically go on murderous rampages. The apex predator is the Fed. The grass is allowed to grow back but it is less nutritious every year. My belly bulges yet I starve. My dollar loses value but I have so many. When a company like Boeing is completely insulated from risk by a general tax on wealth, fascism has triumphed. Private profits, losses to the public. No rational analysis of price vs profits/revenue is taking place.

>>18098007
Point is good news outweighs the less than feared bad news, yes it was priced in, but now it is certain, it will probably rise a bit today but not big like past 2 days

its fucking over
the fed ruined it for us bobros,
the bulls didn't win they got fucking bailed out like a shitty insolvent company, I fucking hate the fed, America, and Jerome powell

>>18098071
Fuck you man I made a huge play on SQQQ yesterday and your sarcasm is NOT appreciated

this must be how it feels to be an investor in communist china

the amount bulls itt is a great sign for bears. we have reality on our side, we will win in the end(soon )

>>18098071
>holding sqqq for months
Yeah trust this guy

>>18098037
>>18098024
>>18098015
>>18098010
>>18098018


Just hold on, sit on your cash and wait. Don't fall for this bulltrap shit. During every crash there are stretches of green. Folks are grasping at literally anything to make themselves think we are going back to normal.

How do I short Yellowstone erupting this year?

premarket doesnt count dumb bulls

>Dow futures goes positive
Except it's not. What the fuck are you talking about CNBC?

BULLISH

okay /biz/ quick analysis on what's happening right now?

did kramer just let one rip live??

wallah

>>18098082
Well said sir

>>18098081
Well Zimbabwe didn't really run out of ammo either

>>18098087
as the poor get poorer, and people get more upset; people are gonna start getting desperate

>>18098024
there is no market
this is literally a very complex planned consumerist economy

>>18098095
well he did say SQQQ will dip some more. lmao fucking bears

>>18098071
i'm not being sarcastic bro. stay rational, stay emotionless, and wait. we will see RIPPLE EFFECTS from all this.

>>18098104
market manipulation by insiders and the fed.

>>18098104
Stimulus is priced in, today is a blood red day

>>18098082

>>18098104
jews are robbing your grandchildren to keep boomers alive five more years

Pelosi told the WSJ that she’s planning to debate the bill on the floor and will not pass it through unanimous consent, citing Republican opposition to unanimous consent in the Senate

>>18098082
Cope, seethe, dilate, have sex. In that order.

>>18098037
unemployment is typically a lagging indicator, but what people don't realize is that this time, it's leading.

>>18098081
>>18098118
How does inflation effect the US dollar when it's the reserve currency?

>>18098108
Man does whatever the fuck he wants

>>18098082
high quality post

18mins

This isn't the bottom. This is so bearish that even the Fed cannot fix it.

>>18098071
Umm, give it like 17 more minutes

>>18098092
FXI unreality since Dec it's a meme market

>>18098155
oh god the mother of all bear flags
we're gonna make it bobros

>>18098098
Already priced in goy

>>18098098
Priced in already

MILLIONS DEAD
BILLIONS UNEMPLOYED
BANKRUPTCIES LEFT AND RIGHT
BULLISH

>>18098173
I think this was just a big bulltrap designed to wreck the massive influx of retail traders.

Are those racial uprisings in the USA during the next decades already priced in?

if so bullish

Can anybody ACTUALLY explain how the stock prices EVER change if everything is already "priced in"? There shouldn't be ANY movement

>>18098138
>stopping the bill when it got through the senate and people, even democrats, want this over with to not look bad otherwise
>all for the sake of MUH AGENDA

Bets on how long til suicide'd?

imagine being zimbabwe and hyperinflating your currency so you switch to USD and then the US immediately proceeds to also hyperinflate their currency

Bullish and priced in.

>>18098004
M/F? Attractive? Easier for females, especially attractive females
>obviously
but even attractive females have to work very very hard to develop, grow and keep a following. The market is yugely oversaturated. What makes your puss so different?
Not sure how well male camwhores do. I'm sure some do pretty well, definitely fewer but less saturated market

>>18098155
I’m going to drink the milk for breakfast from her tits when I’m a bobillionaire and she’s broke

>>18098202

The fact that everything is priced in is priced in

>>18098082
One of the best times to make money is on those stretches where the market pumps against worse and worse news. I've noticed this trading crude years ago. There is a reason it moves up but it's always a few steps ahead of the headlines, whatever it might be. I think that we are already looking ahead to the peak of the curve and once it is "put in" we will really start moving higher and fast. You hear "the market can stay irrational longer than you can stay solvent" a million times when this is in full gear.

>>18098212
bullish

I am genuinely worrried after seeing bright green futures and those unemployment numbers. My half value SQQQ. How is this possible to be bullish still.

>>18098202
That too is already priced in and it's INCREDIBLY bullish

>>18098202
That’s priced in

>>18098202
Only bad things are priced in because the market always take risks into account. So it'll only go up because of the natural rewards

John Oliver Munchkin on kramer time

CRASH IT NOW

>>18098201
america has already sacrificed humanity's galactic birthright on the altar of fried chicken and watermelon distribution anon

THE COURT JEW IS TALKING

WATCH THE FUTURES SURGE

>I would HOPE they pass it unanimously

>>18098216
lmaooooo US is finished

>>18098087
>Not expecting this to happen under Trump

Nigga, u stooooopid

>generation with not even a 1/10th of wealth of boomers gets robbed of the 1/10th
And boomers expect zoomers to not weaponize corona against them?

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WE ARE FUCKING PUMPING BOYS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cK14PxCkvSc

any heavy metal bros here? lets go, market soon

>>18098232
In PLAIN ENGLISH PLEASE

Gotta love Investing's pro traders

>>18098082
>It is now demonstrated that the stock market is not a market of price equilibration among buyers and sellers. It is a forum in which predators allow a herd to graze. Predators periodically go on murderous rampages. The apex predator is the Fed. The grass is allowed to grow back but it is less nutritious every year. My belly bulges yet I starve. My dollar loses value but I have so many. When a company like Boeing is completely insulated from risk by a general tax on wealth, fascism has triumphed. Private profits, losses to the public. No rational analysis of price vs profits/revenue is taking place.
At this point we can only hope people like musk come along and outcompete them, making them unnecessary.

But how to get entangled with them a bit so that they can't fuck with you as much as they try to fuck with musk?

Actually a multimillionaire engineer here so idk. Maybe I could build some better things than these zombie companies one day, or at least help others build actual shit so the zombies can rest.

>>18098104
jobless numbers were more than priced in, green today.

>>18098226
MUH STIMULUS
MUH TRUMPBUX
MUH SBA LOANS FOR CORPORATIONS

What? You kept buying MORE SQQQ?

Bears... did you really not learn your lesson last time?

>>18097462
what is this priced in bullshit. Jobless claims are more than double than what was "expected" and markets are still up. Oh but I guess that they weren't more than expected by as much as what was expected. Fucking rigged fucking system fuck fuck fuck!!!

>>18098202
we efficient markets now

>>18098217
Im a guy but I'm into the femboy stuff and I'm skinny and have an attractive body. I guess I could shill on /b/ but I almost feel bad for taking people's money for just pictures. Got no clue how much people would pay for that stuff as well.

>>18098262
Fuck off unemployed felon kek

>>18098255
with jews you lose

so what is stopping me from buying december KO calls and just racking up free money since it is guaranteed to go back up?

>>18098273
use it if ya got it

BUY WATER NOW

>>18098286
IV crush

>>18098286
>guaranteed

bros seriously are the chinese buying murican stock as a I'm sorry we poisoned you? what is going on?

>>18098258
>Musk
>Do anything but blatantly lie

>>18098286
premiums

>>18098255
markets always pump
only pump less during bad news but still pump
never red
priced the fuck in goy

>>18098150
Will it have the same effect as if it wasn't the world reserve currency? Seriously, what the fuck happens?

LMAO why did i even scalp my calls yesterday should have just held them

>>18098286
theta will drive your value down but sure go for it

>>18098239
bullish for consumption desu

>>18098079
>free market
>companies dependant on gov

pick one

>>18098254
you would have gotten some if you bought the dip

>>18098273
>Im a guy
ill be your first customer

>>18098000
>niggerbear
no anon we are not related
and now zoom out faggot

FUCKING PUMPED AGAIN FUCKCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

>>18098082
>Saying something everyone already knew

It was priced in bros. I got fucked.

>>18098319

Get fucked, Commie.

>>18098271
Up to 4 million was expected

>>18098273
>feel bad for taking people's money
ngmi
listen retard, you have a supply of something that people demand (unfortunately). you have to view it as providing a service, not just taking people's money.
if you're actually serious, i'd suggest doing some guerrilla marketing on /b/ and tinder. see what price point you can get for your pics and then determine if it's worth it

>CNBC running PSAs urging investors not to do anything rash because of market fluctuations
How long until hedge fund managers throw themselves from windows adding to the corpse piles in the streets?

>>18098328
zoom out a little bit further bobo

>Unemployment above projections
>Still green
MY LIFE SAVINGS LOST 80% OF ITS VALUE BECAUSE I BELIEVED YOU FUCKING IDIOTS FUCK YOU /BIZ/ FOR CONVINCING ME TO BUY 3/27 PUTS

8 mins

>>18098273
please kill yourself :)

imagine operating in a market where half a billion people collaborate to draw a line on an etch-a-sketch and then one guy just walks up and gets to shake the thing every morning

>>18098349
hopefully soon

>>18098367
imagine have a gf who loves you

>>18098339
yikes, brainless zogbot

>>18098349
Link to stream?

>>18098351
Well don't lose hope, you can take your scraps and multiply them by 100 since we know for certain now the fed is just going to relentlessly pump everything back to ATH

>>18098258
This event will force companies to realize that physical offices and bodies at desks are liabilities. It further erodes employment security as it is much easier to terminate a net access than face to face terminate a live human. Online productivity monitoring will make work-at-home a slave camp experience.

>>18098342
Idk if I was a conservative investor worried about losing money instead of a gambling retard I'd probably have an estimate plus some estimate of how wrong I could be and then take a conservative position.

Once the info comes out and it's actually better than my estimate, let alone my conservative estimates, I would feel more comfy buying in

I would totally buy a used car from Mr. Mnuchin. He sounds like a very trustworthy man.

>>18098273
Selling yourself is guaranteed to increase your suicide chances anon.

>>18098351
It was known it could be 4 million for a day or two and shit still skyrocketed

>>18098382
im married with children idiot

Bruh these futures have next to no volume

>>18098382
>I love you just the way you are anon

if this shit doesnt dump on open then im sitting out for the foreseeable future

>>18098382
are you offering

I have ten thousand dollars should I put in a short or long on 100 shares of boeing tell me RIGHT NOW

>>18098273
Kill yourself you're unmanly.

FIVE MINUTES

>>18098385
https://watchnewslive.tv/watch-cnbc-live-stream-free-24-7/

>>18098412
just buy calls goy

>>18098256
>tfw this entire month
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4e5Jw9T5Zk

>>18098382
dont make me please i cant anymore

Bull trap in 5 ...

Bottom is in, bobos. How are those inverse ETFs doing for you? Oh, you're holding over the weekend? When will you accept your losses?

>>18098342
no you faggots keep saying this. 1.2 million was the expected number

>>18098428
fuck yea, Vektor slays

>>18098408
nooooooooo not my fake and gay 0 volume pumperinooooossssss

my feet get sweaty when im nervous

>>18098412
how anti-semitic of you, fucking piece of shit racist

>3 Million unemployed
Stockmarket:
>and that's a good thing!

>>18098415
long BA or AAL

looks like the moon is on again today boys, bobos get fucked

KRAMER JUST KNOCKED OVER HIS WHISKEY
BEAR

Wow some bears really might an hero over this

>>18098351
i love how this is like wsb in the sense that everyone wants to be the guy who turns $70k into $1.5m, but that only happens for like 1 in a million and the rest often lose money but you don't hear or see it much.

i keep telling you fucks not to hold overnight, you don't listen.

You lads actually think the economy has grown stronger since last close? Bulltrap.

>>18098405
I'm 90% sure people are reading unemployment wrong if this pump isn't the fed. this is state mandated, it likely has nothing to do with a slowdown in demand and decreased need for production. Anyone seeing 3MM unemployment apps is retarded thinking "oh things will go back to normal. The worst is behind us." The states need to reopen the service sector first.

If the Dow opens green I'm a fucking faggot.

>>18098339
I really love how amerimutt conflate communism stalinism and socialism but that's because you are retarded.
Communism is indeed a shit system but you can't explain why except for muh free market because that's what you heard on CNN.
Socialism worked really great in the one country you didn't interfere guess which one ?

Unemployment is literally bullish. Now the based job creators won't have to feed these leeches

>>18098405
Banks were predicting much worse job numbers, so this has the same effect as when a company beats their earning expectations in a quarter.
I'm not suggesting the numbers reported at 8:30 are real numbers, but for today stonks only go up.

>>18098439
"Return to normal" I'm shorting harder.

>>18098464
its fucking, it's an hero time

>>18098450
Long CTVA bros farmers gonna farm

>>18098406

>>18098462
That's why I love WSB so much it encourages more retarded degenerates to join in the fun. Why not, if this random fucking redditor shmuck can make a 10000% gain, why can't I?

>>18098444
checked, circuit breakers confirmed today

Market is only going up because I bought SQQQ to shit in the bear's cereal.

We're going to 270 on the SPY

>>18098464
3 minutes and we find out either way. I see more red to come - bill hasn't even passed yet, job claims are shit, and the upcoming "we're not paying rent anymore, fuck you" coming is going to be even better.

>>18098495
you animal

>>18098326
Lmao. Name your price

>>18098346
Guess if I look at it that way and look at it that way it doesn't really feel as wrong

>>18098419
Hey I don't do anything to make myself look like this. Infact I'm probably more of a man than you'll ever be. It's not like I'm submitting to anyone

>>18098497
none of those things matter anymore

What's the funniest is that the guy who predicted 2008 must be fucking shitting himself in fury right now.

>>18098513
he's probably zoomed out

And here we GO

>My spy puts have tanked so much that my one unsold BA call is going to make more money on open than they will decrease in valued

>>18098424
Thanks

>>18098408
underrated post. pay attention goys

>>18098513
Michael Burry? Lel he's already said what he thinks about this

Cope:

At least SQQQ bros can exit with 20-30 percent loss.

Them boys with puts tho, oooof.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

24K EOD

GET FUCKED BEARBUMS

>IT OPENED GREEN
IT OPENED GREEN
>IT OPENED GREEN
IT OPENED GREEN
>IT OPENED GREEN
IT OPENED GREEN
>IT OPENED GREEN
IT OPENED GREEN
>IT OPENED GREEN
IT OPENED GREEN
>IT OPENED GREEN
IT OPENED GREEN

Bobo?

ITS NOT FUCKING FAIR

that's a big green candle

THIS ISN'T SUSTAINABLE WITH FED NIGGERS PUMPING

>>18098351
>unironically taking advice from /biz/
listen here assjockey. you strolled in here and wanted to get rich quick. you didn't do TA, you didn't research options trading, you expected us to spoonfeed you money making moves. well guess what? this is a fucking anonymous image board and any retard that takes advice from a /biz/raeli without consideration and thoughtfulness deserves to lose their ass, especially self-entitled little cunts like you. now maybe, instead of coming back here to bitch and moan at us, you can learn from this mistake and try to make money on the way back up. except this time, lurk before you post your pathetic
>wut shuld i buy guys

>>18098557
>>18098562
bought DOG.

>>18098537
what does he think???

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

GREEEN

WE'RE GREEN

JOB LOSSES CONFIRMED BULLISH

LET THEM EAT CAKE

I see a lot of tards screaming how the dollar will fall and the market crash. I have not seen a single bit of evidence for this. Kys bears, we fucking won. You can't prove your little paranoid larp anyway.

>not a bailout
>merely pretending

:^)

>>18098590

IT'S A CAPITAL INVESTMENT OKAY

IT'S NOT A BAILOUT

WHO the fuck is buying boeing?

Someone make a new thread "bear are killed" edition

>all in SQQQ
>we recession now
>dae great depression 2.0
>im buying puts ;)
>behold as i predict le market

>>18098527
My SPY puts just cratered 40% within 2 minutes of opening

Why the fuck didn't I just sell yesterday

>>18098586
we should make minimum wage a million dollars an hour, so everyone is rich forever

>>18098537
>Burry said central bank stimulus, which underpinned an 11-year bull market in large-cap stocks, can’t do much to help during a pandemic.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

IMAGINE 2008
THE MORTGAGE SCAM IS REVEALED

...AND STOCKS GO UP

not a bailout
>not a bailout

not a bailout
>not a bailout

not a bailout
>not a bailout

not a bailout
>not a bailout

>>18098617
Migrate >>18097688

>>18098611

WHO CAN PUMP THE MARKET?

JEROME

JEROME

WHO IS THE SMARTEST GUY IN THE ROOM?

JEROME

JEROME

>>18098462
Buying puts in Feb or early March would have done that

I think predicting the crash will pay more than being deep in the crash and predicting further dumps

I think predicting the relief rally will pay more than waiting for the relief rally and then trying to keep being a bull

The only thing I don't know how to do is profit from knowing when the relief rally ends and the back-to-business-as-usual (v shaped recovery) or long-slow-decline (recession) starts.

Some nyse guy, some bernanke guy, and I think someone else, all seemed to think corona would be more like a temporary disaster like a hurricane, so maybe we could have a v-shaped rally but they didn't see to offer any argument for it and I don't want to blindly trust them just because they're authorities.

I do think that there are ways forward without this killing everyone over 65 and also without hard lockdowns for everyone. E g hard quarantine for immunocompromised and everyone 65+. Have the national guard deliver food and Trumpbux to these people while everyone else goes to work or neets as they personally feel comfortable doing.

>>18098608
HAHAHAHAHAHA

I want you to be honest here.
You all are day trading, right?

>>18098608

>>18098623
100 million new homeless in the street all watching their 401k gain value in the morning

>>18098337
if it was priced in why was the market going crab and waiting for the release? FED is injecting money at strategic times. fuck them and fuck you.

>>18098576 mass death = bullish.
Fewer useless eaters. Funeral industry boom. Estate law boom. Liquidation of boomer assets. Pension funds relieved of liabilities. Jobs opened for zoomer consumers who can finally start families. BULLISH MASS DEATH

>>18098508
that's the only way to look at sales. if you're always thinking about how your product/service isn't worth the money, you won't make sales.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4PE2hSqVnk

My FOMO is in overdrive bros...

>>18098673
HODL

>AMC shutters all theatres
>AMC furloughs all employees including CEO
>3m unemployment claims
>going up

I DONT GET IT I DONT GET IT I DONT GET IT ÀAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>18098658
Stop with the anti semitism. The markets are but going up because of da joos it's going up because this is the most fundamentally sound and strong economy in the world!!

>>18098723
Just get VXX puts, volatility is going back to the 20s.

>>18098723
I guess it's time to invert the news.

>3.2 million unemployed - PRICED IN
corona ramping up in the united states - PRICED IN
>Yellowstone erupting - PRICED IN
asteroid hitting wall street - PRICED IN
>Donald trump dying of corona - PRICED IN
ITS OVER BEAR FAGS, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS ITS ALREADY PRICED IN,

>>18098723
It’s not based on anything anymore, the market is basically a speculative shitcoin now, except the federal government is buying tons of coins

>>18098415
buy 4 thousand copies of the art of deal

red eod

>>18098757
Govt is printing the coins and loaning you coins to buy coins at interest
BULLISH

>>18098723
this is the bull trap to end all bull traps, we're looking at SPY below 200 next month

>>18098766
Naw bro we fucked good and plain.

>>18098455
how can you unironically watch him?

>>18098736
>3M Unemployed in a week
Anon, I...

>>18098539
Actually, i still took a profit from hitting the dip just right, it's just not as much as I was looking for.

>>18098815
They overestimated the first week unemployment numbers to soften the blow. It's all so tiresome.

>>18098445

it's over

>>18098766
Bottom is in racist. This is the time you get left behind and become irreverent.

>>18098815
Back to pol.
How unamerican on you.

I MISSED THE DIP

MY OIL BETS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

and just like that, $4,500 in gains have been wiped in 4 trading days.

And tanking further. I'm going to ride my positions until the very last second, but it looks like I will finish under 1k.

BILL DIES TODAY

also

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY PELOSI

>>18098910
what did you bet? holding brent put strike 15 bucks

>Buy "safe" stock
>it crabs or plummets
>buy literally junk garbage stock no one in their right mind would fucking buy
>skyrockets
New meta is to anticipate retarded bailouts from fed and just pick up failing companies then ride the pump.

>>18098845
We're moving into a depression, many people are going to die from the virus and many more are going to kill them selves because they're broke losers. The bottom is far from in.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0EqcLwRCX1c
ALL I DO IS LOSE LOSE LOSE NO MATTER WHAT

>>18098945
My USO calls and GUSH.

Now it's immediately dumping. Bull trap?

>>18098951
WE HAVE BEEN BAILED OUT. Get that through your head! There is no valid reason for prices to go down. A negativity far worse that reality is priced in.

>>18097839
Unironically dump all of your money into VTI and forget about it.

MGM PUT, OPINION?

>>18098828
Probably, but this pump is relief package pricing.
Businesses are getting some much needed liquidity which allows them to shutter in and stop services/production until nCoV infections level out. This in turn allows them to cut overhead in form of wages.
The next downturn will come if/when nCoV hasn't leveled out by the time the government's stash dries up.
>inb4 bullbros money printer goes brrr
soon Donny and SteveM will learn you can cure a virus by throwing money at it

>>18099022
I am so fucking mad at these people. They don’t do this to fucking me.
We’re going to fucking ritualistically humiliate them. I am coming back here every fucking weekend if I have to. Like, this is never over! I win! They fucking lose! That’s how the world fucking works.
Little fucking kikes. They get ruled by people like me. Little fucking octaroons. I fucking- My ancestors fucking enslaved those fucking pieces of shit. I rule the fucking world. Those pieces of shit get ruled by people like me. They look up and see a face like mine looking down at them. That’s how the fucking world works. We are going to destroy this fucking town.

I don’t get this..... DC just closed everything down last night unemployment is at 3M this has to come down. Maybe the dump is gonna be Friday. Until the dump we day trade.

>>18099170
I made a quick 650 on spce this morning, in and out.

>>18097754
>I remember when a candy bar coated 10 cents
Ok boomer