/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>17954315
Someone kill me

Alexa, play Rosanna by Toto

Oil ETFs. Yes or no?

>>17954338

yes and no

Imagine being a bullkek right now

Who is buying Tesla when it drops below 300 tomorrow?

>>17954315
Where the fuck is WTI crude on the market?

I want to buy a Put, but I'm also a huge pussy. The market can't possibly go any lower, can it?

>>17954338
Might be alright, DCA, probably not a long term hold as the industry will face other troubles in the coming years, but it will be higher than it is now at some point.
keep away from leveraged funds.

>>17954338
no,
Just buy MRO.
Oil isn't going above 50, but picking shale stocks which will survive could net you gainz actually worth the risk.

Green Friday, but what about Monday? I can't imagine it being green which makes me think it might be green.

>>17954351
I turned uber bear to cautious bull today. IMO there's a very good chance we saw the bottom. Time for the market to go back into irrational mode and move higher on bad virus news. I can already see the ZeroHedge headlines now raging at the return of the bull in the face of all this.

>>17954315
There's literally another thread up you retarded nigger.

>>17954315
Lol
Gonna be a good day for me

FUCK FUCK FUCK WHAT THE FUCK?

How low can DOW go?

>>17954351
Suck my cock bitch

It's really starting to sink in just how much money I lost.

>>17954388
It's going to run up then dump. I don't see how it wont dump next week.

SHUT IT DOWN

>>17954369
Just wait for a pomp and the following domp

>>17954359
No way in hell I'm touching that dumpster fire.
Just one Tesla employee getting killed off by coronavirus as a result of Musk illegally keeping the shop open might blow over the house of cards.
Other manufacturers are waiting in the wing to overtake them too.

THE AGE OF THE BVLL IS OVER
THE AGE OF THE BEAR HAS NOT YET BEGUN
IN THE INTERIM...
THE CRAB REIGNS SUPREME

>green futures
time to hibernate bobo

If the Saudis announce anything before market open tomorrow watch oil plummet. Otherwise the oil barons are in (until Black Monday).

Since the virus is bringing down shit left and right what should I buy and when

>1k pomp bulltrap
soon....

>>17954369
Buffet forecasted -50%, we're only down 5k on the NYSE composite. There's a shitload of issues across the board though, oil, dollar is unstable, overleveraged prices through buybacks, and as a final nail in the coffin: a global pandemic.

>>17954369
Just buy puts on spy a week out on a green day. Easy money.

>>17954425
Based.

>>17954440
Airline cheapies

>>17954450
>as a final nail in the coffin: a global pandemic.
when has a pandemic ever killed an economy?

>https://twitter.com/michaelsderby/status/1240805923389669377

Goldman Sachs warns data point to a historic and frankly apocalyptic surge in unemployment insurance claims, from current 281,000 to 2,250,000 in next week’s report. Yes you read that right.

>>17954440
Reliable divie stocks, start DCAing now or after the next dump.

Stonks are shit.
What liquor or you going to invest in.
I should've gotten at least 8 liters of Canadian Reserve ahead of time, but all I got is half a fifth of $6 gin

>>17954315
time to earn screencap bragging ptz

quadruple witching day tmrw, what impact will it have on the market, place your bets anons who actually know what they are talking about and don't just bet momentum

>>17954462
You're forgetting Yellowstone bro

>>17954469
Feds are telling the states to not release the numbers until next Thursday.

>>17954315
How is Fidelity compared to Schwab? I thought about opening TDA but considering they're going to be merged with Schwab in the long run

buy SWK

>>17954496
so calls into next week till wednesday? then puts?

>>17954496
free money by shorting on Wednesday you say?

>>17954369
>The market can't possibly go any lower, can it?

>>17954479
If I loose my job tomorrow when they call me in i'm gonna get shit plastered on some cheap vodka

>>17954469
they are tying to pressure faggot senators and congress into actually acting, which is not happening rn with all their gay objections and taking up time to give their little speaches prior to votes as if anyone other than a sophmore poli sci student at uni is watching.

>>17954411
Sorry, fren

>>17954469
Temporary depression-era unemployment is really going to take a toll, long after the virus is dealt with honestly.

We trading hydroxychloroquine suppliers now bois

>>17954534
I'm on that three way cross road of
>hold and hope for a miracle
>hold and lose even more
>sell and cope

It's hard to press the sell button, because then it's truly over.

GREEN FUTURES . QUAD WITCHING WILL LIQUIDATE ALL BEARS TOMORROW. SPY$270 INTO WEEKEND.

>>17954552
what are you holding exactly?

>>17954527
How much are people drinking to get the point of having headaches? 4-5 shots gets me where I am going and I've never had a headache even after drinking a few shots more.
Vomit a few times, waking up feeling paralyzed or fucked up stomach for a while, yes, but never headache.
Probably because I drink like half a gallon of water a day minimum, not including other shit.

>>17954554
No.

>>17954563
DWT
bought at $35, it's now at $9.80
If I sell, I lose $14,835

>>17954338
the market took a huge shit, just buy voo and u good nigga

NOOOOO SNSS WHYYY

I've been holding SPY calls since yesterday. I was going to dump at the peak today but I was only up 30% and I figured that wasn't enough. I'm currently down 8%. Theres going to be a closing pump right?

>>17954505
Fidelity and Schwab are probably neck and neck as decent brokerages to trade on. Really doesn't matter, I think Schwab credit checks. Depends how you feel on the trading platform, TDA is usually the best visual charts for that.

Is everyone in the thread a gambler or are there others who just hold and dca every month irregardless of market conditions?

>>17954479
Go home Canada. This bourbon town.

>>17954615
There's middle ground between gambling and being an eternal bagholder

>>17954601
Wait it out...

>>17954614
Gotcha, thanks.

>>17954603
Was about to feel bad for you till I saw your total. Lol

>>17954424
+
Aren't they getting most of their batteries for acumulators from China and/or South Korea?

>>17954603
>1.3M in RH
lel

>>17954619
Bardstown has entered the chat

>>17954619
>Go home Canada.
>implying cheap bottom shelf canadian whiskey isn't the most american thing there is

>>17954532
If they take too long things could get ugly with all the ammo etc flying off the shelves. I may bug out and go inna woods if I start seeing guns out in the open.

There's a repo crisis that started last year, pension funds are insolvent, the government is bailing out every industry, dozens of CEOs quit their jobs in anticipation, senators sold millions in February, the unemployment websites are crashing do to load, mass layoffs haven't started, supply chain hit hasn't fully manifested yet (companies will run out of reserve stock soon), quarterly earnings are next month, hmm what else? yes there is a global pandemic.

Oh right, there's a housing bubble, student loan bubble, sub-prime auto loans. What else? OH YEAH. All growth in the market since 2009 has been fucking stock buybacks! OH RIGHT any the fucking pandemic hasn't even slammed the hospitals yet. Do you realize by this time next month the average hospital will be swamped with elderly people who are literally suffocating to death? Picture it, and the media coverage.
We haven't even priced-in all the people who will be drawing out their 401ks to pay for mortgages, rent, and food.

OH yeah, and the food shortages. OH YEAH and the national GUARD is being DEPLOYED because of the very real possibility of riots in the major cities. OH YEAH and there's going to be an Occupy Wall Street 2.0 coming that will be militantly violent with a fully built-up army of anti-Drumpf cattle manipulated by strongest anarcho-communist black block America has even seen (as a reaction to the Alt Right).
Yeah mate this is the bottom for sure... for sure... for sure...

Prepare yourselves for a lost decade.

>>17954677
MONEY PRINTER GO BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Normies are losing their jobs
This is not the bottom boys
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/flgaml/people_who_lost_their_job_due_to_this_crisis_what/

>>17954615
I do analyzations and go off of that. Great success rate.

HSI is doing good right now. S&P and DOW futures are in the green right now. But then it's still a long night ahead and it will take a while for news of the worlds 5th largest economy shutting down to really digest.

>>17954638
DWT is going away on April 2nd
https://www.businesswire.com/news/home/20200319005840/en/Citigroup-Announces-Acceleration-Series-ETNs

>>17954684
they can't brrrr forever

>>17954385
Fridays have all been green with huge red Monday’s. The accumulation of bad news over the weekend.

>>17954603
idk how you have such a big total when those calls are awful

>>17954677
Nice pasta

>>17954697
Red tomorrow too.

buy POOL YUM and STZ

>>17954713
Don't say that. I'm going to lose a lot of money if its red tomorrow

>>17954677
>90% of my portfolio is physical gold and silver, mining stocks, and crypto
I'm so fucking ready. If I can get another 1-2 months to stack before this shit really pops off I will be whatever the equivalent of a millionaire is when this shit really starts popping off.

>>17954696
dont underestimate their BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRs

>>17954696
literally can, but ok.

>this is the bottom
Infections, layoffs and closure haven't even started yet in most of the US.

>>17954677
Keep shilling this in every thread commie. It's still never going to happen for you.

>>17954388
It's gonna dump. The issue is that things haven't gotten as bad as they will get ini the US yet
You're gonna see a huge drop from one of two sources in the next week:
Everyone has burnt through msot of their savings and large swaths of the population have lost their job, so no one is going to spend a lot of money on much.
OR the virus starts literally dropping similarly large swaths of the population

>>17954459
Are euro airlines like Lufthansa an equally good investment to the murican ones?

>>17954677
How long have you been fantasizing?
I think your hopes are disrupting your perception.

But national guard is definitely a possibility. Trump would love to suspend November’s election if he could justify it with some violent resistance of quarantine.

Still not selling. Unless we pump tomorrow due to quadwitching shenanigans. Then I’ll dump some bags, reload some shorts, and be ready to buy more of fucking Merck and Lilly and JNJ and KO and Pep and I dunno, some other shit. Regeneron.
Basically lots of drugs and consumer staples. Oh yeah, Costco and Clorox.

>>17954740
if what you are saying is true then we can just completely brrrrr all of this away in one day can we not

Seriously why the fuck is the future going green? They just shutdown the trading floor.

>>17954315
>Mars US
When the FUCK did Elon setup an exchange?

>>17954730
Lmao you’re back in pool?
Btw:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Range broke

>>17954777
Market am forward thinking

>>17954755

Hey I found it

>>17954411
how much did you lose, and how?

>>17954810
see
>>17954601
>>17954691

>>17954806
lol

Quick, do I short DOWJIA or SPY500?
SPY sounds like long-term shorting for recessions, I want quick buck so I can afford to go big in SPY.

>>17954777
>Trading floor shutdown
>Loser traders who can't beat algorithms have to go home and wait, saving everyone millions
Pretty obvious

>>17954677
I come to /biz/ for big picture rundowns like this. Thank you sir.

Ok heres the plan: realize my 2k put loss then load up on spy calls for the eod surge, then sell and load up on spy puts for Monday
Its bulletproof

>>17954819
Wait it out brother, you might get stomach ulcers from the experience but it could quite possibly go higher.

>>17954838
DJIA will open low go to 20420 and get assfucked on monday, when more states introduce quarantines.

>>17954792
I figured they would do this a week ago when all my local golf courses shut down. This virus is the gayest thing Ive seen in my whole life, its not even a cool virus like ebola. This is the most pathetic thing Ive seen in the world hands down

>>17954819
>>17954601

>>17954505
>>17954614
>Charles Schwab: $3.25 trillion in client assets, with a total of 11.6 million active brokerage accounts
>Fidelity: $7.4 trillion in customer assets with an active 27.2 million brokerage accounts and largest keeper of 401(k) retirement savings plans and the largest provider of 403(b) plans for nonprofits.
I use Fidelity, so does my companies retirement plan.

>>17954601
>3x inverse note being accelerated (closed)
Sorry mate, you are totally fucked.

>>17954735
>metals
literal scam

>>17954856
You are poor so you they wont let you do that. Just do the SPY PUT play.

I got $200 to spare and I can do one of two things: invest in the market, or pay an escort tomorrow for a bareback blowjob and cum in mouth. I've never cummed in a girl's mouth before, but I don't want to miss out on market gains. What should I do?

when is the gubbmin giving me my free $1000 so I can use it to buy puts

>>17954603
>buying call options instead of stock...

You deserved this tbqh.

>>17954938
Get market gains and buy 2 escorts

>>17954938
Invest retard.

>>17954884
unless oil tanks in the next week and a half, I'm fucked.
Everyone on stocktwits is bullish as fuck over UWT for having a huge growth today. It rose 22% which meant that DWT dropped by 66%
Oil would have to really go into the negative for me to simply break even.
I'll probably end up holding like a retard and lose it all while hoping for a miracle.

>>17954938
Market, that way you can pay for 2 or more blowjobs later, all while avoiding Corona.

>>17954938
Hookers are going to dip, invest.

>>17954929
>>17954929
>You are poor so you they wont let you do that. Just do the SPY PUT play.

how can they stop him flipping a couple contracts tomorrow?

>>17954909
Also NY alone will hit 10k cases

>>17954938
>giving money to a woman

>>17954961
If I was you I'd sell 25-50% now and wait for oil to actually go negative and try to recover a little bit of the rest. But I'd probably kill myself if I lost 14k.

>>17954938
Get the bj. You gonna lose your money anyway, might as well get to bust a nut

>>17954929
I havent day traded yet so I should be fine

>>17954756
>burnt thru their savings in a week
top kek

>>17954369
>https://pastebin.com/VtnpN5iJ

the fear is ramping up. News sources are expecting social distancing to be a new part of everyday life, and if you don't keep your distances, the pandemic will flare up again and if the virus mutates to something with more lethality you will see shit hit the fan like never before in living memory.

In the heart of all this fear, hell yes it can go lower. 1. NO. 2%. Maybe 3.

>>17954991
It's gonna be worthless soon anyway

>>17954938
Import an onahole from the land of the rising sun.

>>17954961
3 options as I see it.
1) cut losses and lose a piece of your soul
2) pray there are some developments today that make the market shit its pants and drag oil even lower
3) hodl

>>17955025
imagine being this panicked about a burger made of coofs

>>17955024
It might be funny to you but most burgers unironically live paycheck to paycheck and 80% has less than a month worth of shit saved up.

>>17954961

Was there any retionale behind this other than stock was going down so if i buy it will still be going down?

What changed that made you sell?

Trying to understand what went on here..

>>17954338
The demand will probably go up within the coming days since everyone will gtfo of cities

>>17955027
its not about the money
giving anything to a woman that isn't a part of your family is simply the wrong thing to do

>>17955030
how are they compared to real pussy?

>>17955063
Giving anything to a woman except the dick is wrong and against nature.

>>17955048
>>17954997
actually continuing to read, all the UTW bag holders are piss scared of UTW falling to near zero because of the liquidation.
If UTW goes down, does that make DWT go up?
I thought buying and selling ETNs don't change their price, they are just reflections of the indexes?

>>17954938
invest bro.. i remember one of my first girlfriends would suck the life out of my dick when i'd nut.. seriously just keep sucking it down.. my god she is still so fucking sexy!! I always think about how she'd suck my dick extra good right when i'm cumming and swallow it.... have never had a good blow job since desu.... so i get more thrill out of trading.. but whatever.. to each their own

>>17954338
Long term yes, short term god fucking no.

>>17955056
>What changed that made you sell?
I haven't sold. I held on thinking that oil was just doing a momentary upswing and that if oil kept going down then I would be okay if I held long enough.

But then this liquidation announcement came tonight.

>>17955081
>If UTW goes down, does that make DWT go up?
Fuck no nigger, both are index based, what.

The only way their values will shift if the index itself shifts.

>>17954982
>>17955018
https://www.investopedia.com/terms/p/patterndaytrader.asp
https://www.investopedia.com/terms/f/freeriding.asp

>>17955085
This. I timed the market by selling all my oil & gas ETF shares when I started hearing about all this oil nonsense.

>>17955098
oh okay that's what I thought, so everyone on these other forums are just retards then.

So do we think tomorrow is actually going to go sideways? There's a lot of news swirling.

>>17954911
So you got out then?
You golf? sheesh.

Yes, ebola was metal. This is just the boomer remover and they're being sore about it.

Though there is the chance it does cause permanent lung/kidney/testicle damage, so there's that. Could be the beginning of the sperm wars.

I don't fucking understand puts.
So you pay to have the right to sell for more than something is worth? How the fuck does someone make money on this?

>>17955113
They are right about panic selling somewhat.
Do not panic sell, but you are in a precarious situation with your shit bags. Good luck anon, maybe you'll get out with minimal or atleast acceptable losses.

>>17954385
I don't think we'll close in green, I think we'll get rejected for a third time @ the same top, and go down ending in red, creating perfect environment for a bloddy monday.

>>17955113
Will bobos ever admit defeat after this rally today?

>>17955121
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjedLeVGcfE
its a clown market, no point in trying to predict anything

>>17955135
this is the index it is based on.
I just have to have faith that it will continue to go down within the next 10 trading days

>>17955127
Wait.
https://www.bbc.com/news/health-35658650
Shit.

>>17955132
No one actually knows but its makes money somehow. Just watch that video where they go around asking finance professionals what derivatives are and none of them can actually explain it.

>>17955146
It might go down today, close your eyes and pray to jesus.

>>17955132
You may not be cut out for this

>>17955068
Onaholes have developed beyond a real pussy. They have textures that a real pussy cannot replicate.
Invest some time looking for your perfect fit. There's almost an endless variety.
http://onahodouga.com/

>>17955132
Usually you sell the actual option.

But in a basic sense: If a stock is $90, and you have the right to sell it for $100, each contract (100shares) will net you $1,000 (100 shares x $10). Actual options trading isn't this straight forward.

>>17955068
Great to cum in but annoying to clean afterwards.

>>17954677
Fucking laughing at anyone taking a leveraged long position like they can just hodl for a few weeks and make an easy 5x.
We're going to see a suckers rally, and then dead cat after dead cat for a month or more. Buckle the fuck up and swing daily or get out.

>>17955184
Better than annoying all the time.

>>17955081

it's UWT not UTW, you should not be throwing your life savings into something you don't know the ticker for

hopefully you take a lesson from this, idk what it is tho other than maybe this thing isn't for you

Oh fucking shit.
https://www.latlmes.com/breaking/martial-law-declared-in-new-york-city-trading-suspended-1

Senators literally sold the top lmao
https://www.thedailybeast.com/sen-kelly-loeffler-dumped-millions-in-stock-after-coronavirus-briefing

>>17955132
1. Don't buy options.
2. Don't buy options.
3. Owning a put means that someone else promised to buy 100 shares at the strike price by that date. So if the current price is less than the strike price, you make money by buying 100 shares at the current price and the guy has to buy them for the strike price in the contract.
Example: Person A writes a PUT contract for XYZ with a strike price of 100. Person B buys the contract for $5 per share. If the price of XYZ goes under $100 like if it goes to $90, then person B can buy 100 shares at $90 and sell them to person A for $100 each. Thus person B spent $500 on the contract then sold his shares for $1000 to person A, making him $500. Person A wrote the contract and gained the $500 from person B, but then had to buy the shares back for $1000, so he lost $500.
4. You are stupid
5. https://www.investopedia.com/terms/p/putoption.asp

>>17955215
>latlmes
L A T L M E S

>>17955215
Bait

>>17955154
Neat! You can turn your stemcells maybe into sperm cells!

I'm also concerned about the hormonal damage of coronachan roasting my testes with inflammation or whatever the mechanism is.

>>17955174
>>17955184
>>17955030
Alright but can I give them a real fucking? It's not the same if I'm not covered in sweat and using all the core and leg and arm muscles. I like ta feel bestial.

>>17955240
GAME
RIGGED

How is the crab this powerful?

>>17955275
never, EVER, doubt snibby

>>17955240
>imagine being smart enough to know to sell the top and also retarded enough to actually do it

There will be big shakies coming in politics, the fact that the house pressured that leather bag to be able to flee the city while waggies are stuck going to work is not going to go over well at all.

>>17955215
What sort of typosquatting fuckery is this? Prepping a malware/phishing landing? You know we have url preview generators in this, the year of our lord 2020

>>17955258
ぷにあなミラクルDX (Puniana Miracle Deluxe)

>>17955258
this was from a chinaman study

the chinease have an RPG potion crafting based health system which is obsessed with fertility and executed through the hunting of rare monster (rhinos,elephants, sea snakes) to grind up for boner medicine and cummies\

do not take it seriously

>>17955240
I did too, the problem was I bought back in.

>>17955246
But person B bought 100 shares for $900 and the contract for $500 ($1400 total) and only got $1000 from person A so he lost money.
This shit is fake you guys just make it up and scam people.

>>17955324
They're also basically all infertile due to population pressure, inbreeding, and pollution. They have underground human semen markets.

>>17955275
first he snips ya and then he snabs ya

>>17955350
>This shit is fake you guys just make it up and scam people.
Yes.

>>17955127
I cant cash out because I have so much anyway
It doesnt matter, I saw so many people wearing face masks at rite aid today I wanted their heads on a pole thats all I could think. Beating my child cousin wasnt enough I want more. I will have my revenge

Btw I bought puts so the market is saved, it will literally never go down again. If you'd like to contribute to the golden bull run just PayPal me

>>17955352
Fertility is always a big thing in less developed cultures, look at Africa, 20k years of art, its all just penises and boobs and buts.

30 yrs ago shanghai was a couple of fishing shacks. Just because a country gets super rich overnight doesn't mean a nation of rural peasants who missed the enlightenment living in a litteral slave empire until the 1930s are suddenly a 21st century culture.

Point being, don't trust anything they say about penises.

>>17955380
>bought puts before QUADRUPLE witching day
anon... i...

Anyone else holding TVIX or UVIX? What should we expect?

>>17955324
>the chinease have an RPG potion crafting based health system
lol
that's a good way to put it
I like that

>>17955350
Person B bought 100 shares at $90 which is $9,000 and the contract for $500.
Person A had to buy the 100 shares for $10,000 and sold the contract for $500.
Person B spent $9,500 and gained $10,000, netting $500.
Person A spent $10,000 and gained $9,500 losing out $500.
The $9,500 person A "gained" is from $500 for selling the contract and $9,000 for selling the shares on the market at the fair price of $90, or theoretically, he can continue to hold the shares until he can sell at a better price.
Did you even read my 4th point? Here it is again if you missed it.
>4. You are stupid

>>17955374
Why are you still going out!!??
From what I understand you may not have the strongest lungs and immune system, order that liquor delivery, stay away from the trashy normies at rite aid!!

(Headmistress beats you, you beat child cousin, somewhere along the line a road gets shoved in a hole, it’s a vicious cycle)

>>17955404
Ok. Can you explain why that will result in a spike?

>>17955246
>and the guy has to buy them for the strike price in the contract.
It's a right not obligation.

>>17955409
https://www.cnbc.com/2020/03/20/bitcoin-btc-cryptocurrency-prices-rise-as-stocks-remain-volatile.html

like i've been saying, bond yields up, ppl buying back in

bottom reached for now. if ppl are liking something as risky as crypto, negative sentiment has reached its limit

>>17955393
It’s a big thing in modern culture too, it definitely is part of the subtext.

>>17955321
Holy shit
But
This looks like the kind of thing that gets stuck in customs and gets you imprisoned. AND now we’re going to DEFINITELY have some strange import restrictions for a while. But... I could see that being a fun workout.

>>17955459
Any chance of a bump? I need to get out.

>>17955404
If EVERYONE knows the market is going to be green why didn't we all yolo in calls then huh? I mean, it's guaranteed!!!!!!!!!

>>17955324
>>17955352
>>17955412
The Chinese are basically stone age peasants transported to the future. They are literally retarded and barely qualify for being conscious.


>>17955442
If you WRITE the put you HAVE to buy. Person B has the RIGHT, Person A has the OBLIGATION. Even if Person C buys the contract from Person B, Person A still has the obligation. This means that every single put and call you on the market has a real 100 shares associated with it. Technically you can have more, but thats too complicated for you.

>>17955380
there's a repo crisis that started last year, pension funds are insolvent, the government is bailing out every industry, dozens of CEOs quit their jobs in anticipation, senators sold millions in February, the unemployment websites are crashing do to load, mass layoffs haven't started, supply chain hit hasn't fully manifested yet (companies will run out of reserve stock soon), quarterly earnings are next month, hmm what else? yes there is a global pandemic. Oh right, there's a housing bubble, student loan bubble, sub-prime auto loans. What else? OH YEAH. All growth in the market since 2009 has been fucking stock buybacks! OH RIGHT any the fucking pandemic hasn't even slammed the hospitals yet. Do you realize by this time next month the average hospital will be swamped with elderly people who are literally suffocating to death? Picture it, and the media coverage.
We haven't even priced-in all the people who will be drawing out their 401ks to pay for mortgages, rent, and food. OH yeah, and the food shortages. OH YEAH and the national GUARD is being DEPLOYED because of the very real possibility of riots in the major cities. OH YEAH and there's going to be an Occupy Wall Street 2.0 coming that will be militantly violent with a fully built-up army of anti-Drumpf cattle manipulated by strongest anarcho-communist blac block America has even seen (as a reaction to the Alt Right).
Yeah mate this is the bottom for sure... for sure... for sure..

>>17955459
I would like my penis to work, but if it didn't, I would not pay a filipino man 50,000 dollars to sneak into a national park and kill a kimono dragon so that I could eat its testicles on the off chance this would somehow improve the situation.

chinease traditional medicine is the most retarded thing I'm aware of currently (which is why its also popular in LA), and is probably behind this virus via Bat consumption

>>17955507
You underestimate my ability to lose money

>>17955507
mods plz ban, he's been shilling the same thing over and over in every single thread

>>17955534
lol
of course that wouldn't work
you have to kill the kimono dragon yourself and eat it to get the magical penis powers
if you pay someone else to do it, the magic doesn't work

>>17955433
Im not afraid of glorified pneumonia, I will never die, I will never get sick

>>17955507
based and bobopilled

>>17955459
cnbc writes about it, it's time to dump boys, everything might fall today

>>17955587
>Dies of cat hair in between toes

no volume on futures rn
boring

>>17955505
what happens when the time hits and you don't have the money to buy the shares?

>>17955622
You literally can't do that, you can only lose your initial investment on options.

>>17955641
that's great

>>17955499
because there are goys and there are jews and if you want to make money you dont follow a goy. mms are setting up for an incredibly green day. stay tuned.

>>17955622
Heres the thing, nobody lets money go to waste. Your broker will automatically execute options that are "in the money" meaning executing the contract will result in a net gain. If you don't have the money for it, you could get fucked. To prevent this, just sell the option to someone else, there will always be a buyer for in the money options.
https://www.investopedia.com/terms/a/automaticexercise.asp

>>17955641
So wait, I can't loose under 100 dollars if I pay 100 dollars for an option?

>>17955687
what's the minimum $ to start trading spy for a guy who's not an expert on stocks, but understands the patterns and can pretty accurately detect the changing directions of a market?

>>17955622
You better hope that doesn't happen, or you might end up mopping the floors of the NYSE for a long, long time.

>>17955707
Trade options. You can do that on 10 dollars. But you won't be able to trade the higher options (A dollar or more)

>>17955692
m8 you need to fucking google. you can't lose more than your initial investment buying options. losses are unlimited if you sell them, that's why people use spreads.

>>17955641
he is trolling u anon, cmon

what does this super long skinny line mean?

>futures STILL hovering around 0±2%

>>17955707
Did you fucking read my post? >>17955246
>1. Don't buy options.
>2. Don't buy options.
>4. You are stupid
How many times do I have to repeat it? Just by a single share of something cheap and see if you can actually make money. (Hint: you will not do as well as you think)

>>17955775

>>17955775
tomorrow looks like it was be very sideways

>>17955587
I believe it
This is all just FUD to scare people away from sharing holes at the bowling ball.

Ive just made an account for a new zealand broker. I am new to stonks. How does this look to start? I think anything healthcare related right now might be promising.

https://smartshares.co.nz/types-of-funds/ishare-series/healthcare-innovation

>>17955793
>quadruple witching day
https://www.investopedia.com/terms/q/quadruplewitching.asp

stocks may go up, they may go down, but they certainly will not be going sideways

>>17955820
>he doesn't know

>>17955828
your iron condors and tvix puts aren't going anywhere but in the toilet tmrw chief.

>>17955146
OH NO NO NO

>>17955707
God you're an idiot

y'all finna bouta get snibbed on

im not feeling to well

>>17954691
>>17954961
>>17955081

Made a thread, because IDKWTF is going on
>>17956004

>>17955970
why are you so angry friend? you should've asked those questions before you installed RH and lost your stack

>>17956044
crypto retard detected

>>17956054
you are trading options, you're basically flipping a coin every day hoping you win, isn't that worse than crypto?

>>17956156
>you're basically flipping a coin every day hoping you win

This strategy only works in really volatile markets like what we have now where there are big daily moves

>>17955707
>what's the minimum $ to start trading spy for a guy who's not an expert on stocks, but understands the patterns and can pretty accurately detect the changing directions of a market?
>a guy who's not an expert on stocks
>understands the patterns and can pretty accurately detect the changing directions of market
>a guy who's not an expert
Not even the pros know which way the stock is going to go.. they just hedge their bets to give themselves and edge. They risk missing out on gains just to avoid making big losses. They have no clue if a certain stock is going to go up or down (unless they have inside info which is illegal to trade off of) So the assumption that you know.. you should really just throw that assumption out the fucking window and focus on risk so you don't end up like this guy >>17954601

>>17956197
shit I thought it was hedging

>>17956226
Well I'm not naive enough to buy in after it broke out, I might miss some profits, but at least I'm not gonna get dunked on, when it corrects.

well futures didnt get halted, thats gotta be good right?

>>17954601
>What the fuck am I reading.jpg

>>17956263
>Well I'm not naive enough to buy in after it broke out
sometimes it's a good idea to buy the break out... sometimes it's a good idea to fade the break out... you never really REALLY know.. thats the point... i mean sure.. you can predict it over a course of a long period of time and i mean long like months.. but day to day action is mostly a fools errand if you don't know how to hedge your trade properly.. so if you're looking to trade spy maybe start with atleast a grand.. trade options on strong momentum days.

I had a friend that lost around 15k in a few months.. he would always go through charts with me as if I haven't been trading for years longer than him.. he would always tell me "well this is the confirmation candle"... well fuck... how do I MYSELF be a part of that confirmation candle and sell to people like him that are waiting for that confirmation to buy??? by the time you get that "confirmation" the trade is over and the contrarian trader has made his gains and moved on while some poor soul is holding bags that might never come back.. Its about hitting singles and doubles to me.. but to each their own

Futures are skyrocketing. 2 green days in a row boys, we made it.

>>17956329
Monday is going to be rough.

>>17956329
Wait until Monday.

>>17956306
Futures ripping. Tomorrow we pump. Monday we dump.

>>17956320
yeah it's insane the longer one thinks about it, best strategy could be to simply go with the flow and short when it's going down.

>>17956350
tomorrow is Saturday and the markets are closed are they not?

Load up on SQQQ today bros

Would anyone like to explain to a complete brainlet how to invest in an index fund such as the asx200? Is something like this viable to slowly add money into overtime? Or do you need to make large purchases.

I've tried used spf500 but it seems everything there is on extremely high leverage, that said I'm a brainlet so probably did something wrong.

The sheer activity on these threads reminds me of a saying:
"When your shoeshine boy gives you stock tips, it's time to get out of the market"
In this case though, I guess the saying should be "When your local autist starts giving you tips it's time to get out"

>>17956382
You're a month late.

>>17954938
yeah, see a prostitute during a global pandemic you dummy. Real good idea, maybe you can suck the sweat off her lips from the last covid-infected client she fucked hours earlier.

>>17956382
kek you waited to say this twice?
you should have just changed a single letter

>>17956351
Try not to think too much about it.. next you know you'll make it more complicated than it really has to be.. some people have some really sophisticated strategies but i think they grew into those after they had a lot of "a-ha moments" don't think traders tend to start with multi legged option strategies and shit like that... but all i do know is that LCI is a good company setting up for some long term growth.. They are bringing some heavy hitting products to their pipeline that will be long term revenue generators.. you should check it out..

FUTURES ARE MOONING BABY LETS GO

>this fucking pump
literally for what reason

>>17954315
Who else thinks spy will go to 100 by June?

>>17956531
>>17956528
Quad witching retards

I'm planning to invest around 10k $ to some index funds.
Would you invest today, or wait till Monday?

>>17956543
Wait til may.

>>17956537
I KNOW ITS THE QUAD WITCHING
I AM GETTING SQQQ CHEAP AS DIRT AND BUYING 1500 WORTH

>>17956382
shut the f*ck up boomer
go get coofed on and get pneumonia

>>17956531

People think the worst is over. Corona was nothing. The government is going to pump unlimited cash into everything and everyone to make this month of lost productivity go away. Yeah, there will be a slight shortage of essentials, but we're coming out of all of this into a bunch of cheap gas and some stimulus cash so we can buy a bunch of shit that's been sitting on the shelf, like TV's, cellphones, plane tickets and whatever else we want.

>>17955912
After fucking with cryptos for years, 0.4% in a day really does look like the most boring shit ever huh.

>>17956561
With more months to come bae

>>17956561
sounds pretty optimistic anon.. surely unemployment forms being filled out in california going from 2000 daily to 80000 is nothing....

>>17954361
Tradingview ticker WTICOUSD. Futures is CL.

>>17956561
Unemployment claims jumping to 2.5 million a week is certainly nothing to be worried about at all.

>>17956651
Where are you getting that number?

>>17956676
It's an estimate from smaller reports and anecdotes.

>>17956561
>Look it's fine here's free money for everyone
lmao the absolute state of discussion on this board

>just had a green day
>all bear signals currently switched on
>still green
Is this the power of quad witching when 90% of profits are in puts?

Will the extremely high number of puts vs calls cause the quad witching to dump EOD?

>>17956374
I'm not familiar with strayan markets but there should be an etf tracking your index. You can buy as little as one share each time if you like. It doesn't have to be large orders.

>>17956682
Whose estimate?
Is that the expectation for tomorrow’s numbers or things that just happened?

>>17956686
>quad witching
What the fuck are you autists talking about

>>17956692
yes everyone will be cashing out their puts before the weekend.

Fuck it, I’m done with CNBC.

>>17956692
Probable.

>>17956753
Free pornhub premium. Ooh.

>>17954615

Irregardless isn't a word.

>>17956699
google you moron.

>>17956783
For Italy, France, and Spain.
Us hasn’t shut down yet.

>>17954315
Futures Green, Open Red, Close Green

>>17956791

>Bought puts on Thursday expecting a red day today.

how far up will the short squeez and the witch carry the dow today?

>>17956832
21200 probable
22700 possible

>>17954315

After this lockdown there will be a huge time of prosperity. The Golden 20s are ahead of us when half of boomers get removed.
Cant wait

>>17954369
You have to decide for your self. Create a good thesis for your actions.

>>17954691
RIP, DWT. I remember trading you years ago...
I also remember losing $3k in one night on XIV..fuck that hurt.

>>17955814
brrooo... be careful, we're in a bear market. do your research and expect to hold a while.

>>17956832
These trips tell me bloody monday

>>17957000
Ohnononono

>>17957000

guys I'm seeing V shaped recovers on some blue chip companies, bearbros...

>>17957000
Based fellow bobo. Ill hold my puts through the red today and cash in on Monday.

>>17956916
Boomer removal could relieve a massive entitlement burden... but they still have much of the experience and important roles so... dunno.

>>17956929
NOT THE LITTLE 500!!!!

This is really weird. I respect that you spent time putting it together, but it’s pretty lazily done. And it doesn’t really make an argument, but rather than encourage discussion or debate, you challenge others to “prove” you wrong.

And what the hell are “irregular purchases,” you just looked for the gaps up on the chart and decided they were unusual, but the gaps down were not? That’s stupid.

Everyone already knows we’re getting a recession. Global manufacturing was in a recession, the us consumer was considered to be the main thing holding the global economy up, and we got a fucking contagion that ruins the service economy. More relevant questions are how fast can we recover, Will this turn into a depression, can the banks stay solvent, how will mbs and vlad keep the boot on our throat, and whether or not it’s worth buying natural gas futures contracts at the lowest level for 20+ years and bet on the massive shortsqueeze.

>>17957000
You’re a fucking wizard. Should I jump back into shorting the Russell tomorrow? Now that Boris has given my relatives the coof, I’m ready to short the UK.
Or India or Brazil. Fuck it. Where’s the opportunity at? I want to milk more money from the fall and keep adding to my dividend aristocrats.

oh fuggggggg bear bros

Is it possible we go back to 2009 levels?

they're on to us!

>>17954773
Really generous with that drawing of Anna. Shes one ugly cunt

>>17957048
no dont be stupid. the absolute lowest spy could go from this is 160. but it will probably be around 200

>>17957000

>>17956329

We're going to be okay.

ahem*
going to repost this here
After the trillion dollar stimulus packages and the 1k gibs are passed out yet fail to make a difference to the growing unemployment, that's when it'll go back to red.

>>17957036
Mondays are often red. Someone earlier pointed out California is now "officially" on shut down and it is the 7th largest economy. Plus all news tend to pile up on the weekend. I'm short France, India, and Brazil. India and Brazil because I do not believe they are reporting numbers, properly testing, or aware of how out of control it currently is. France because it appears to be the next Italy at this rate.

Today’s the day AMD bros

>>17957094
i thought they banned short selling on eurofags,
t.eurofag that is not allowed to short fellow eurofags

>>17957000
This is it.

>>17957119
I have puts on these ETFs.

>>17954938
>bareback
>cum in her mouth
Do it anon, just make sure you stay 6ft away at all times per the CDC's recommendations

>US markets explode higher due to impending lockdowns

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

>dax +5% at open

This will be the last chance to dump your bags lmao

>>17957094
Our curve looks uglier than France last I looked. The numbers are all fucked up because of testing rates not infection rates. And if we’re doing more testing, our numbers are about to skyrocket. But all of this was predictable, including the shutdown of Cali and soon NY.

The availability of testing equipment and PPE are slowing things down, likely some of it is deliberate...

Still, I just fucked myself up with inverse ETFs and ended up taking another daytrade...
All of this to say, we’re oversold as fuck, but will be going lower. Could easily have a face melter though.

I have puts on planet fitness.
RIP me
Lesson learned

>>17954938
I've coomed in girls mouths before without paying. Just get drunk at a club or bar and be flirty.

Oh wait. You can't go to bars right now. Lol

this is fine. everything is fine

>>17957197
>>17957197

>>17957197
>>17957197

>>17957197
>>17957197

>>17957197
>>17957197

>>17957197
>>17957197

OK

>we're gonna hit the 5% limit up
holy shit what's gonna happen monday

>>17957184
>be single in 2020
>stay single for 12-18 months minimum
What a great timeline...

>>17957205
>single for 12-18 months
yeah that's crazy right
haha

>>17957201
>Nifty 50 up 7%
Praise Vishnu!

WTF IS HAPPENING WITH FUCKIN TRADING VIEW WHY IS IT NOT WORKING ? GOT ANY OTHER RECOMMENDATION FOR CHARTING PLATFORM?

>FTSE opening

What was THAT