/biz/ - Business & Finance

Is this the shit I need to buy?

HOLY FUCK THE POPE CANCELED EASTER!

>going to be graduating with a very specialized engineering degree in the middle of the world's worst economic depression
when do I kill myself?

At last, he's been vindicated.

>>17826049

WE HAVE LEARNED NOTHING. NOTHING. IN THE LAST 12 YEARS. good fucking god

Just end the fed

>>17826020
We are living in history you faggots,
I love all of you

For a sec, I actually thought the 100bps cut would work for at least the length of a futures scalp...
Thank god I didn't get in

Hold me brehs

Enjoy your recession Bullkeks

GUSH bros... It's time to cash in and get out while we still can

>>17826068
At least you're not a banker!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Thanks for coming to my TEDx talk.

i dont get it, the stocks jumped up good on friday when the CEOs and Trump declaring the emergency so why is everything getting even worser now?
like Jerome is on right now talking so people should be assured right????

>>17826020
That's a chinchilla you retard
>>17826068
You're not a banker so there is that.

>ALL THOSE BULLKEKS WHO DECIDED TO HOLD OVER THE WEEKEND BECAUSE OF SOME SPEECH

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHA

y futures not updating on investing.com???

>>17826068
>finishing my phd in two months or so

>>17826085
I love you too retard

This is the most fun I've had in a long time

>>17826068

This is the funniest thing I've ever experienced. I'm in shock.

>Work at a hospital so I'm safe from losing my job
>Just started paying into a 401k

This is perfection

>>17826068
You will be sitting pretty when things recover and companies start desperately hiring to refill the roster. Just be glad you're still in school now and not looking fir jobs yet.

C'MON MORE SPEEEEEED

JPMORGAN CHASE & CO IS SUSPENDING STOCK REPURUCHASES -BANK
JPMORGAN CHASE & CO IS SUSPENDING STOCK REPURUCHASES -BANK
JPMORGAN CHASE & CO IS SUSPENDING STOCK REPURUCHASES -BANK
JPMORGAN CHASE & CO IS SUSPENDING STOCK REPURUCHASES -BANK
JPMORGAN CHASE & CO IS SUSPENDING STOCK REPURUCHASES -BANK
JPMORGAN CHASE & CO IS SUSPENDING STOCK REPURUCHASES -BANK

>>17826051
If you didn't buy it a week ago it's not getting to your front door.

https://youtu.be/8OyBtMPqpNY
>https://youtu.be/8OyBtMPqpNY
https://youtu.be/8OyBtMPqpNY
>https://youtu.be/8OyBtMPqpNY
https://youtu.be/8OyBtMPqpNY
THREAD THEME

>there are anons in this thread that aren't making money on this recession
Friday was such an obvious bulltrap.

I am comfy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJj61YFBDhA&t=2s

RESERVE REQUIREMENTS ARE ZERO
GO WITHDRAW YOUR MONEY FROM THE BANK RIGHT NOW
BANKS ARE ABOUT TO STEAL ALL YOUR MONEY

This shit isn't gonna stop until Donald Trump's heart ruptures and we stop pretending the stock market is more important than a pandemic.

>>17826095
oooh ahhh thats a spicy meatball

When will mutts start killing each other?

>>17826135
I do have another 2 years to go so at least there's that. Good fucking luck for me getting an internship though

>>17826068
お前はもう死んでいる。

>>17826086

When the Fed cut (last week?), the market shit itself then too.

What the Fed should have done is leave the interest rate alone and fucking pushed liquidity into the markets on the down low.

During recession-era-out-of-meeting interest rate cuts just results in market's panicking.

>>17826068
tfw history n philosophy major

>>17826105
THAT PUMP WAS FAKE AND GAY

>>17826137
FASTER DAMN IT

Bank of America, BNY Mellon, Citigroup, Goldman Sachs, JP Morgan Chase, Morgan Stanley, State Street, and Wells Fargo are stopping buybacks for now to focus on lending.

https://www.fsforum.com/types/press/releases/financial-services-forum-statement-on-share-buybacks/

>They initiated the biggest pump in history and slashed rates to zero?
>DUMP IT

so lads tell me your plays soon?
o% = japan 80's
down limited down 1000 points
blood in the water
massacre is coming

>>17826159
i wanan fuck you

>>17826068
Youre alive to watch greatest showdown of all time and youre worrying about a piece of paper

NVGMI

>>17826095
This doesn’t explain much...

Hi /biz/. I like watching graphs crash and people screaming.

>stuttering

DIS @ 50.00.

>>17826111
>mfw holding SQQQ

So, what's gonna happen now?

>>17826198
>>DUMP IT
Newfag.

>>17826020
Invest in guillotines.

I can get used to comfy Sunday evening emergency FOMC conference calls

also banks suspending buybacks
RIP

>>17826085
Love you

wallstreetbets just went private

>>17826196

IS this good or bad? It sounds bad.

>>17826170
When did we stop?

>>17826159
I'm perfectly comfy sitting in cash waiting for the correct opportunities to long or short. It's not necessary that i always trade both sides of the volitilitu.

>>17826142
What does that mean, companies fucked?

>>17826135
This, I'm just starting my job search in engineering.

I am so fucking fucked dude

Asian markets open soon.

>>17826215
what game

I'm here for OC and everyone is reposting old shit memes

>>17826142
HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

>>17826134
Are you a doctor or a nurse?

So what are you guys gonna do to survive the New World Economy?
I may have to start selling moonshine.

You beartards realize this isn't even the crash?

Right now we're entering a bull run. Once mortgages start failing, hello 2008.

>>17826085
Guess we'll be on the books, eh. Love all of you too. I'm happy although I'm still sad that most of my positions got burned, except GUSH.

>>17826110
Chinchin..? What?

>>17826251
Means stock is worthless

>>17826244
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Everyone on Wall Street grabbing their life vests

>>17826105
It's all smoke and mirrors. They picked the time of the speech so they could pump the whole thing and end the day green and pretend everything was just peachy!

sell me a sub-$400 options play for tomorrow morning

>>17826142
Link

>>17826244
>plebbit
You need to go back

>>17826270
enjoy going blind

>>17826215
>fullerides
>not even T3 reaction products
go look at the price of Fullerene Intercalated Graphite in Jita right now, I'm laughing all the way from my WH

>>17826300
I said selling not drinking.

My grandma just tested positive for Boomer Remover!

>want to buy physical gold on this news
>cant because Corona
>physical gold also probably will get botched on delivery as >>17826143 mentions
>have to choose between buying into the market or watching your USD lose real value

Have ... have they fucking checkmated us into blowing up our savings? What the actual fuck.

>>17826260
EVE online.

why futures close O_O

>sold sqqq before trump's speech and bought them back before the close
Thanks for the discount, bulls.

>>17826244
why?

>>17826163
All my money is cash 7k cash and $50 shitcoin so I'm bucci

>>17826142
they know it's going down even further, smart.

>>17826260
Looks like EVE Online but not sure.

>>17826293
see >>17826196

don't even care about money anymore, just pussy

>>17826276
It's a capybara can't you see?
Welcome to the history books bro.

>>17826175
This will not last a full two years. I guarantee that. Corona will eventually burn itself out. Oil will stabilize even if it takes war to do it.

is 12 years really long enough for those rats to forget 2008?

>>17826219
I hope I've got puts on them

Fed talking about negative interest rates on call.
They're saying no negative rates in US.

>>17826085
I feel I have a front row seat

Wew nikkei is dumping hard

>cant even loot stores because all the shelves are empty anyways
wow everything is just terrible

guys

FED is pumping Bitcoin

>>17826270

For me? I'm going to go Mad Max and trade in twinks and gasoline.

And by "trade", I mean rape and pillage.

Fed says they aren’t considering going negative

8 oz gold
550 oz silver
1 oz platinum

$5k in gold/silver miner stocks

8 BTC
6 BCH
6 BSV
20 LTC
32 ETH
5000 XRP
1000 LINK

I'm prepared. Are you?

>>17826313
How to short before open gaps down?

>>17826244
IT'S REAL LMFAO THIS IS THE BEST TIMELINE EVER HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

lmfao

>>17826305
>buying t3 mats when you build t2

I bought DUK - Duke Energy - over 4% dividend, largest energy utility in the US. It tanked with everything else, then regained with everything else on Friday. Will it be going back up Monday? And if not, will just holding on to it for a few years make it OK? Thanks in advance; i didn't get a response last thread and maybe i dont deserve one. I'm too dumb to recognize....well, just about anything.

>>17826020
Anyone know how futures work?
Is it just guesses based on... what?

And how reliable are they?

Remember when CoronaChan was a nothing burger

HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH

>>17826244
NO ONE CARES ABOUT FAGGOT REDDIT

GO BACK

LCI Anon must be shitting himself right now too.

>>17826329
Wow/ Thanks. So even with lower lending rates, they see better gains in that than their own stocks which are on sale? This is going to be wild.

Puts are worth the fucking premium.

The thing that nobody in the fed seems to understand is that this is not an economic depression, this a pandemic. And they are trying to fix an economic depression.
It does not matter if interests are 0% and they keep giving away free money if I won't be alive to use it. People are pricing their own death in the markets and no amount of money can fix it.

>>17826366
buy high sell low

>>17826360
>usless metal
im going to shoot you over your cans of food not gold nigga

>>17826143
JM Bullion isn't shipping my order and closed their storefront, kikes

>>17826262
Give it a few hours.

Imagine being Trump right now

Bruh they froze them again?

Damn, threads are going fast. So my question was that I saw someone mention that MO is a good stock to get on the cheap. Is there any validity to this? The 5yr chart is a little grim.

>>17826360
How many oz is that Suisse bar?

DOW 20,000 tomorrow

BROS THIS IS GETTING SCARY WHAT THE FUCK

>>17826366
That makes sense.
If you’re getting gubbmint free loans then they might’ve had to agree to that?

>>17826068
>Mfw draw furry porn.
I made the right career choice.

>>17826068
fuck off faggot us men graduated during the 2008 recession and had to answer phones as a secretary for $7/hr, flip burgers and stock shelves at cuckstores for 2 years before getting actual jobs

>>17826244

I generally only went there to gauge buyer sentiment anyway.

>>17826244
GO THE FUCK BACK

>>17826371
>stock market
>guesses based on... what?
neck yourself, why are there so many newfags in /smg/ these days?

>>17826189
Make sure to include us in the books you write bro.

how the

FUCK

does

NO ONE

know how to FIX THIS FUCKING THING? PANICKING DOESN'T DO ANYTHING PRODUCTIVE YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

BROS

WHAT THE FUCK IS EVEN HAPPENING?

Wow seriously, this is how it ends. I'm stock piled on ammo and food for only 3 months. Well guys this is all fucked.

>>17826332
>It's a capybara can't you see?
Actually I don't know what anime she's from, but from the looks of it, she looks like a cute bear.

Say it with me:
NEGATIVE INTEREST RATES

>>17826284
Anything at this point, just try to find a cheap put on SPY

>>17826417
hi pav

fuck wsb just went private and im not a member because i would just keep it open on a new tab and wanted to separate from my main feed

>>17826390
That's not even the worst part. It's the wave of inflation, defaults and bank collapses that are coming due to this stupid bullshit. They literally destroyed the US.

>>17826244
LMAO
NOW THAT'S SOME SEETHING

>>17826366
MOTHERFUCKERS

>>17826434
In layman’s terms it’s not entirely inaccurate though lol

>>17826417
>mfw i learnt how much furfags pay for commisions
you can unironically make couple grand each month just by drawing animals shitting and pissing

>>17826438
>>17826445

>>17826366
> They thought stonks went up
Looks like another week of dabbing on bulls for me

Jerome is so calm so why are you all worried he priced in the Virus and said its a nothing and will go away.

>>17826445
Fed says not an option they're considering (for now).

>>17826438
"""fix"""

The fix is what's happening. The problem is asset prices are stupidly inflated by a decade of low interest and easy money. The solution is for asset prices to go down to a reasonable level.

>>17826142
its literally to stop foreign meddling, chink government insects are trying to short our stocks to keep the dump going

Hopefully we get to see some traders jumping from windows tomorrow

10 TRILLION DOLLARS AND 0% INTEREST DID NOTHING
>10 TRILLION DOLLARS AND 0% INTEREST DID NOTHING
10 TRILLION DOLLARS AND 0% INTEREST DID NOTHING
>10 TRILLION DOLLARS AND 0% INTEREST DID NOTHING
10 TRILLION DOLLARS AND 0% INTEREST DID NOTHING
>10 TRILLION DOLLARS AND 0% INTEREST DID NOTHING
10 TRILLION DOLLARS AND 0% INTEREST DID NOTHING
>10 TRILLION DOLLARS AND 0% INTEREST DID NOTHING
10 TRILLION DOLLARS AND 0% INTEREST DID NOTHING
>10 TRILLION DOLLARS AND 0% INTEREST DID NOTHING
10 TRILLION DOLLARS AND 0% INTEREST DID NOTHING
>10 TRILLION DOLLARS AND 0% INTEREST DID NOTHING
10 TRILLION DOLLARS AND 0% INTEREST DID NOTHING
>10 TRILLION DOLLARS AND 0% INTEREST DID NOTHING
10 TRILLION DOLLARS AND 0% INTEREST DID NOTHING
>10 TRILLION DOLLARS AND 0% INTEREST DID NOTHING
10 TRILLION DOLLARS AND 0% INTEREST DID NOTHING
>10 TRILLION DOLLARS AND 0% INTEREST DID NOTHING
10 TRILLION DOLLARS AND 0% INTEREST DID NOTHING
>10 TRILLION DOLLARS AND 0% INTEREST DID NOTHING
10 TRILLION DOLLARS AND 0% INTEREST DID NOTHING
>10 TRILLION DOLLARS AND 0% INTEREST DID NOTHING
10 TRILLION DOLLARS AND 0% INTEREST DID NOTHING
>10 TRILLION DOLLARS AND 0% INTEREST DID NOTHING

>>17826351
Based.

https://twitter.com/deanomight1/status/1239265518852456449

Is this real or fake?

>DEUTSCHEBANK APPEARS TO HAVE DEREGISTERED AS A COMPANY IN GERMANY

>he bought the "dip"

>>17826371
google cfd

>>17826408
I really think we might hit the 19XXX's no joke

What puts are people buying Monday?

What the fuck are the premiums going to be?

>>17826314
I switched to TQQQ but I still have a fuck ton of puts on other stuff

Should I consider suicide if I just started job hunting now?

I'm already destitute and I don't know how much more I can take.

>>17826368
Sell. The chart has demonstrated this stock is not going to be a safe haven.

>>17826438
There's nothing to fix as of right now. The world economy is halted. They are trying to fight a virus with economic stimuli.

1. Lying about the economy being healthy when they were doing repo for 5 fucking months already

2. Blaming it on the virus over and over

3. Saying they don't want negative rates (BULLSHIT)

4. asked if they will bail out industries.... 5 minutes of bullshitting

The CIA should poison all the journalists and influencers online spreading misinformation and causing panic. These people will be our doom.

>>17826366
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN, IM NEW SORRY!

>>17826478
END THE FED
END THE FED
END THE FED

The reason why they are having a conference call instead of a press conference is because Powell is on lockdown.

>>17826478
when chinks ruin worlds economy only nukes are viable currency

Curious as to why gold and silver are going to tank again

>>17826368
People will always need electricity. I say it was a good buy. Should the price fall you should buy more since the dividend yield for the purchase will be higher.

>FED cuts rates to 0
>FED announces QE5? and a 700 billion cash injectoin
>Markets futures immediately limit down
Is it officially over???

I'm ready to buy. I just got my HL account last week. Do you just check the website, note the ETF price, and just fucking buy? I've never figured out if you actually get the price that's listed or how quickly the listed price updates.

I miss Obama and Janet

>>17826464
Wrong pic

>>17826486
>wwg1wga
it's a q-tard.

>>17826442
A depression. Inflation is going to go through the roof. There's probably going to be a run on the banks soon if the fed can't stabilize the market. Mondy waill be an indicator

Imagine holding stocks right now

>>17826443
She's P90 from Girl's Frontline, the joke comes from people trying to discern what animal she was since there were some translation errors, a cute bear was one of those in the list of names.

>>17826404
100, it's a beaut. It's inside of an assay sleeve so the photo doesn't do it justice

>>17826497
You'll be fine lad, just go innawoods. I'll probably have to do that as well in 3 months when I run out of money.

>>17826477
god, we can only hope

>>17826434
Tourists

>>17826480

And Leatherpilled*

>>17826438
The "fix" is to let the equities deflate from their massive decade long pump like they're supposed to and no create endless debt just to re-pump them when we should be investing in rebuilding our infrastructure and creating jobs once corona dies down

People jumping out of windows wasn't a meme. This shit is too much.

>>17826533
How do I hold corona-chan?

I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE I'M SELLING

Why didn't I listen

>>17826492
If the market even opens tomorrow, we're getting sub20K within an hour.

>>17826486
just some closed branches

>>17826519
YES ALL PRAISE THE PERMA BEAR

>>17826405
I told you last thread this isn't a good time for stuff like MO. Only buy good companies that were bullish before coronachan.

>>17826438
You fix it by letting it crash

how can i short this for tomorrow

>>17826519
YES
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>17826543
I just wanted to be an engineer bros.
All I ever wanted in life was a 9-5 job designing circuit boards or programming some backend shit and then go home to a nice house with a wife and 2.5 kids and a dog.

I didn't want my life to be this way, why am I so stupid.

>>17826533
literally all 80+ year olds

>>17826555
you die

>>17826020
HOW DO I profit from THIS reeeeeeeee

>>17826434
>>17826490
be helpful instead of acting like assholes?

when you're a dick online it carries on to your real personality whether you realize it or not, and you'll get less people that care for you in real life

r/wallstreetbets
We have gone private after reaching one million subscribers, and only those who commented in the thread will be added to the approved users list (as well as regulars). Thank you everyone for your support. Please do not message modmail for access.

>>17826504
its mostly leftists trying to dethrone Trump

Should I withdraw all my money from the bank?

>>17826478
Yeah I for sure thought futures would be green, very strange

CNBC STREAM
JAYPOW ON THE PHONE

https://123news.tv/cnbc-live-stream/

>>17826548
Lol this, and we'll never do it. Netflix is about to get fucked in the A. They're at 80x earnings going into a market crash lolol.

How can those faggots think that QE could solve an health crisis? Are they fucking retarded?

>>17826587
sorry lad, chinks happened

>>17826449
Not whoever that is.

>>17826460
Couple of grand is on the low end too if you're even remotely fast.
I know a guy who pulls 75k a year and that's only because he's too lazy to draw more.
My pics average about 200€ a pop, but I'm slow as fuck. Takes me at least few days to make a picture, but in few short years I'll out earn 99% of my country doing this shit from the comfort of my home.

>>17826533
Reminder that "Mild" also includes viral pneumonia.

>tfw picked a niche career that thrives in recessions so I'm actually hoping for one right now

>>17826572
Ah thank you, your reply was lost to me when I hadn’t checked and the next thread was available.

DEFLATION
>DEFLATION
DEFLATION
>DEFLATION
DEFLATION
>DEFLATION
DEFLATION
>DEFLATION
DEFLATION
>DEFLATION
DEFLATION
>DEFLATION
DEFLATION
>DEFLATION
DEFLATION
>DEFLATION
DEFLATION
>DEFLATION

>>17826598
You can't we don't know what even has value anymore. Buy toilet paper...

>>17826579
stop trying to short, just sell everything you have in stocks and derivatives and other crap, and go buy all the commodities you can safeguard or carry

>>17826605
the fed is going to rob you of all of your money with interest, it doesn't matter if it's in the bank or in your hand. It's worthless one way or another.

>>17826497
Become a soundcloud rapper.

>>17826477
I thought the windows in NYC skyscrapers don't open for this exact reason.

>>17826091
you shouldve already cashed out lol. i'm waiting for oil to bottom over the short term and then all in on GUSH and UWT baby for 12 month profits

>>17826569
Can't stop the golden bear!

>>17826587
I'm in the same boat

I CANT FUCKING WAIT I WANT THIS SHIT TO FUCKING DROP!

>>17826616
What do I even do, I'm almost 30 and invested everything in getting an education. Now I'm ruined entirely and feel like I'm going to rope.

>>17826605
no

cash can already be infected with virus

>I CAN'T READ MY WRITING

THE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS ARE PRE DONE

HAHAHAHA

>>17826504
>The CIA should poison all the journalists
All journalists work for the CIA since Operation Mockingbird. The CIA is the influencer spreading misinformation to cause panic.

>bullkeks actually UNIRONICALLY fucking thought they could game an epidemic

THE FED PUMP DIDNT EVEN LAST FOR 15 MINUTES
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Do you feel in charge, Mr. Powell?

the state of new york has only conducted ~5k tests. they have 700+ positive. ~140 of those are in intensive care. their icus are already at 80% capacity. cuomo is begging the army to come and build him a hospital. it's going to get really fucking ugly really fucking fast in the states.

>>17826614
>Are they retarded?
yes

SPY 2100

should i re-fi my mortgage bros?

seriously why they shut down buttures

>>17826619
what's your fa?

Can I go to sleep without missing anything?

>>17826504
>>17826602
REPO started in September

>>17826396
They are backed up.
Everyone is.

>>17826614
it's literally due to Trump watching Fox News and thinking that the corona-virus is a democrat hoax to make him lose the election

>>17826527
Holy based

New to stonks, should I go for mutual index funds as a beginner or risk it targetting individual stocks for short term gain (and then reinvesting)?

>>17826666
This isn't even a viral problem anymore you dumb faggot, this is a serious run on the banks problem. FUCK

>>17826653
whatever job that puts food on the table untill things get calm

>>17826677

Yes. Futures trading is stopped for the rest of the day. Come back at 9:30AM EST

>>17826672
we hit drop limit

>>17826601
>in the thread
what thread?

>>17826677

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5l4OEJ38aLY

JUST LET IT CRASH YOU STUPID NIGGERS HOLY SHIT

>>17826688
DO NOT GET IN RIGHT NOW
WORSE CASE BUY A 1x SHORT ETF FOR THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE

Is there a chance you're all fucking doomer retards and this won't be so bad?
-.- pls

Australia's futures index is down by almost 10%.

>>17826629

I too am an undertaker

>>17826538
Good to know. Glad to learn a lot even though we're in the midst of the largest shitty global economic recession in history right now.

>>17826688
its crashing nigga dont buy in yet

>>17826695
>rest of the day
Geez

>>17826694
But by then it will be years and my degree will be worthless.

What is the point of even carrying on

...he sounds scared.
God help us.

>>17826632
This guy gets it

Well all this panic has got to be good for KO,KHC,and KDP right? People buying shit up like it's nothing.

>>17826517
>slashes dividend
>nothing personel kid

>>17826717
We'll have at least another leg down, but i think the recovery will be fast once virus is over.

>>17826688
wtf dont be retarded

>>17826632
>DEFLATION
>>DEFLATION
>DEFLATION

Am I understanding right: global economic downturn = demand for dollars increases = value increases?
The Fed man says inflation was a bit too low also

>>17826563
*flick*
Huh, looks like we've got a lot of China numbers coming out tonight.

Trader for 5 years here. The futures just limited down in 15 fucking minutes AFTER the Fed just cut rates and injected 700 billion. It's unironically over, there is not a single piece of news that will pump this market except a vaccine.

>>17826732
you could've been some guy in the 50s or without internet. vidya, anime, porn etc

just numb the pain

Just let the fucking stock market drop. The quicker it bottoms, the quicker we can all get over it

>>17826607
yes, very strange.

>>17826719
Its ogre. Its all ogre.

Prepare your boxes for Trumpvilles

>>17826717
No, it's all gone baby.
>>17826724
Gotcha buddy, we are witnessing history right now wonder what will they name this in the future.

>>17826687
I've been here for most of last week, so much hate as I've dabbed on bulls.

>>17826744
No, it's over nigger. After this we go back to the stone ages for a few weeks.

>>17826715
>>17826727

Ah yeah meant to say I was gonna buy in once it hits rock bottom

>>17826666
just imagine, the US has only conducted 20,000 tests total
the next few weeks are gonna be a shitshow, depression for sure as a knock on effect

>>17826688
This is NOT the time to buy stocks. Come back in 6 months or so

>>17826672
They threw a tantrum and are now in time out to think about what they did.

Can someone explain what exactly is happening? I'm retarded

>my shitty third world country won't allow me to have a weapon
rip me and family when the raids for food start

>>17826762
QE devaluate dollar.

>>17826695
Incorrect
They just can’t get any lower

*flick*
Huh, looks like we've got a lot of China numbers coming out tonight.

>>17826741
Who?

>tfw I'm the only one buying ETFs
I feel like a cool guy. You just check the website, note the ETF price, and just fucking buy. I've never figured out if you actually get the price that's listed or how quickly the listed price updates, but it'll not even fucking matter. BUY THE DIP

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
INTEREST RATES AT ZERO AND FUTURES STILL CRASHING
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
DUMP LIFE SAVINGS INTO SPY 180 PUTS
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

CUTE RED

CUUUUTE RED

>>17826793
Everything is kill.

>>17826717
Oh it's going to bad and already is bad alright. The question is more about duration.

>>17826803
That's not what deflation is though
People are worried about deflation

>>17826719
GOOD THOSE FAGGOTS FUCKED ME THURSDAY NIGHT

>>17826601
nothing of value was lost, literally a place filled with pre-teens that can't use google and consistently fall to pump and dump schemes.

Stocks sucked anyway. Everyone knows the real money is in sucking dicks in public parks.

>straya

>>17826756
Must have missed that news flash. When did it happen?

>>17826766
I love it. Me and my brother talk markets a lot over text, and last Wednesday he was all rosy about the FEDs actions. I told him
> There is not an event short of the returning of Jesus that will stabilize the market.
He was so smug on Friday, silent now.

>>17826797
>implying Cramer has been suggesting you be 80% invested in stocks
This guy has NOT been listening.

>>17826812
PRINT HARDER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>17826766
>w-we have a v-vaccine
>market holds in anticipation
>1-15 months
>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>17826498
>>17826517
I'm still not sure but since it was a smaller amount, i'll keep the order and see what happens. If i'm not completely retarded, i would guess there's a good chance that it will go down Monday, looking at futures right now. I don't mind hanging on to it for 20 years just to see what happens though. I'm still confused as ever but i appreciate your responses. Maybe i should invest in some booze producers next

>>17826793
Numbers go down.

>>17826688
well idk do you want to lose all your money now or later? fed at practically zero interest after a year of more than a trillion in QE and proposed more fed injections into wall street

but if any one isnt a tard they might recall that under obama fed involvement is 100% distortion and wrecks proper investing and real world data has no impact on it

you should invest in helium tanks and ramen noodles those are what will sell through the year

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHtB1AEI2EQ

>>17826798
Good thing I live in a third world country in the rural area away from everyone.
>>17826838
Based, it's not gay if you wear a mask.

>>17826680
Yeah, but they should ship those who ordered before this whole previous week. As of now they are shooting on my cash. As it goes if you don't have it physically...

Powell is fumbling his phone like a true Boomer.

>>17826766
By puts faggot

>>17826088
i think so but i currently use a meme broker with 0% commission so make sure you don't get fucked on the charges and stamp duty

>>17826700
they made a post saying that at 1mil subs they were making it private and cutting it down to 50k subs. and this was like 20 minutes before doing so

>>17826816
SUPER CUTE

>>17826828
No but you were asking about dollar value going up, short-mid term should go down i think.

>>17826861
I've thought he hung up about 5 times at this point

Powell said they’re starting buying tomorrow.

They haven’t bought yet.

Any chance money flows into the market when they actually get started?

Would Hillary have prevented this?

>bloody monday waiting room general
everyone ready for tomorrow?

>>17826845
That's what this is really about. Money is nice but smuggies are priceless. I am rich beyond my wildest dreams this month

>>17826797
This. Cramer really fucking makes me sick. He sat there and cried on national tv about his responsibilities on informing the administration and the FED. No word on his responsibilities in regards to scream buy AAPL 2 days before that though.

>>17826762
consumer spending falls, price of products decreases and dollar gets overvalued. the economy is killed
every measure the FED has been taking for the past several months, along with the tax cuts, has been to curb deflation (read on the Bernanke doctrine). but deflation is catching up constantly. now due to corona they just can't overcome deflation. THEY JUST CAN'T DO IT.

>>17826888
Hillary must feel like God himself blessed her back in 2016, imagine having to deal with this shit.

>>17826819
I have puts.. am I gonna be rich?

>>17826838
>he thought we were joking about investing in a pair of kneepads

New thread:

>>17826906
>>17826906
>>17826906

>>17826888
absolutely

>>17826883
Understood.....

Imagine being one of the retards that bought in before the close on Friday.

>>17826895
Didn't the Fed do exactly what he suggested on the TV?

>>17826888
Unironically she may have prevented a crash. If they had started testing months ago and took it seriously...

And we probably wouldn’t have been navigating a trade agreement while the virus was breaking out, so Xi wouldn’t have needed to hide it as much.

>laddered cd's, for two years, a couple months ago
Based.

>>17826816
very cute

>>17826886
Possible.

>>17826816
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>17826903
Thank you. Appreciate it..I will read the bernecke doc.
How does REPO bailouts curb deflation though?

>>17826888
Are you retarded?

>Got fucked on indices
>Lost $600
>Oil dumps hard
>Profited $3100

$2500 profit. Going to bed, easy money

>>17826888
she was going to start ww3
the hag is psycho

>>17826895
He’s been saying every goddamned day that things are going to get worse before they get better

He said on Thursday “they know nothing” and then Mnuchin called him while he was still on the air.

>>17826943
Not yet, but they’ve done some things.
Problem is, it’s not the fed that needs to act, it’s the administration and it looks like too little too late.

Everyone at those airports is going to spread it. Watch for Florida, Los Angeles, chicago, all those international airport cities to fucking explode in diagnoses.

That's it for me boys. I'll be in the garage with car running.

>>17826849
I’m a dividend investor so these low prices give me wood. Not buying anything new just increasing my current holdings.

>>17826111

:'( we had a good run bros

>>17826903
Shit I did try to hedge with GLDM and GOLD... that’s going to kick me in the nuts along with all my longs. Only fucking 25% cash right now.

>>17827048
>1 post from pol
Maybe
But she’s accountable to the powers that be, so probably she would’ve just continued with business as usual. Middle class is kil under either administration.

>>17826244
FUCK. I am a lurker with no reddit account who reads daily threads at work.

and i cucked? help

>>17826605
>withdrawing dirty ass physical cash that will lose value just the same as it would under your mattress during a pandemic
Anyone who participates in a run on the banks is going to be a Darwin Award recipient.

>>17826068

It's not that bad. Those recently employed will get fucked too.

>>17826451
FUCK. fuck fuck. my work entertainment. how long will it last?

>>17826367
fair, fair

>>17826777
>Trumpvilles
We're calling them Nothingburgs.

>>17826647
>meme for years about the coming of a golden bull run
>get a very real and very scary golden bear instead
The simulation is going too far

so what should i do as someone with only 15k in cash? should i try to buy cash when my bank opens in like 7 hours? should i take cash out of the bank? should i buy etfs?

>>17826762

Inflation = Money supply * circulation

Circulation is going to shit, so they increase supply. That's it, really and it doesn't seem to be working.

>>17827282
Whatever, I'm holding for the ultimate bull run. I got my supply and all these companies will be bailed out by the tax payer anyway because

Well, so much for buying PM right now, fuck

>>17826766
A vaccine wont fix shit at this point. These idiots let community spread get out of hand. Normies were out at the bars spreading shit like a wildfire and making retarded claims like they have to go out because they do what they want, like the dumb Red Robin bitch. Everything is about to come to a grinding halt in two weeks with mandatory quarantines and hospital overloads for weeks after.

I pray to god none of us get injured or have to go to a hospital for any reason other than COVID treatment because the doctors are probably not even going to be able to see you.

>>17827514
Now everyone is going to shit and cum their pants and it's all over. People will cry!

>>17826244
But why?
Reddit censorship again, just like the_donald?

>>17826598
TMO DGX LH youre wel/k/come

>>17826601
i cant wait for the SECC to bust this insider trading ring for their pump and dumps now that its a closed private community

>>17827873
Imagine thinking WSB moves enough volume to actually pull off a PnD

>>17826666
get fucked sanctuary staters. i hope Trump denies all aid to sanctuary states and walls them off. escape NY and escape LA are real life now

>>17827902
This. Fuck those faggot "liberals."

>>17826888
no you idiot we would have crashed day after she took office and gone into full recession

>>17827895
who do you think shills those shitstock penny games like ONTX and SNSS?

>>17827902
This, we mad max niggers now.

>>17826244
>>17827684
They got called out for options manipulation

>>17827933
Wall St. liked Hillary "business as usual" Clitton.
Mid-terms would've been republicans taking over house and senate, we get divided gov't, excellent for stocks.

>>17826932
Yea that was the biggest fucking bounce I have ever seen. You guys are dicks.

>>17826497
Grocery stores are hiring temp due to everyone trying to stock up, min wage course

>>17828430
Fucking bullish on retail right now.