/biz/ - Business & Finance

I will just alternate between sitting and standing then. Enjoy your continued losses.

>>16590871
The lawsuits from these are going to be fantastic.

Is this real?

>>16590871
They need these in public bathrooms in my city so bums won't hang out in the stalls.

>>16590882
gonna sue because you can't comfortably scroll through your instragram feed on the shitter at work?

You allow your wagies toilet breaks? Can't they shit in their own free time? Youngsters these days just don't understand that there's money to be made if this company is to keep afloat!

>>16590919
They're basically treating anyone with any bowel issues like a criminal and causing them undue distress and pain. They're gonna get fucked hard.

>>16590871
i said i'd squat on it in another thread but from this new angle it looks like it'll also be too narrow to squat on it.

>>16590871
FUCK. I knew they were gonna start cracking down on our hour+ toilet breaks.

How am I gonna post with my biz bros...

>>16590871
Just buy a whip it's much cheaper.

>>16590928
>They're gonna get fucked hard
i doubt it

>>16590871
Just bring something to put your feet up on

>>16590871
>boomers think leg strain will stop me from sitting 2 hours on the toilet

>>16590929
i would eat the corn out of her turdcutter

>>16590919
God damn right

>>16590928
>Only the strong shall survive
I'm liking this toilet idea more and more :)

These would be good for public restrooms

>>16590871
>Buy a rubber diving brick for 10 bucks
>Take diving brick into bathroom stall and measure the gap with a ruler.
>Draw lines on diving brick.
>Take brick home and slice a couple of pieces off.
>Take pieces of diving brick back to work with you .
>Stick pieces under the front of the toilet seat and sit down.
You just realigned the toilet seat to a comfortable angle.

>>16590871
just sit backwards

>>16590871
I fixed it.
>Pic extremely related

>>16590931
I feel you man

>>16591046
>not bringing a comfy folding chair with a hole cut in the bottom into the toilet with you every time so that it's set up over the shitter
>not gonna make it

the real gangsters have the ones with the cupholder

>>16590871
Also I would take 30 minute dumps all while squatting mid air. Do they really think they can stop me. Ehhh im unemployed at the moment so.

>>16590871
Yes I'd love to destroy your toilet

>>16591021
But you're not strong.

Just sit the other way. Checkmate Mr. Shekleberg.

>>16590928
Yep. Was sick to my stomach one day, spent 10 mins shitting in the bathroom. Come out to my boss who informed me I've been suspended for a week. I try to explain that I was sick but they just assume I was lying.

Now, if I don't feel good I just stay home. Fuck em.

>>16590871
Looks like an easy lawsuit win if you have IBS or any type of bowel disorder. Can't wait to see big business get fucked hard by this. :)

>>16590871
>wagies hiding in bathrooms
lol

>>16590871
*breathes in*
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

>my wagies
He doesn't know

>>16590871

> Has stomach issues
> Spend few minutes on slanted toilet
> Increasing pain in legs every second due to dumb design decisions
> Leg pain increases until i cannot bare it and stand
> Shit sprays all over the toilet and the wall behind
> Repeat the process in the customer toilets, which also for some idiotic reason have the new slanted toilets
> Cleaner rage quits the company
> Boss is pissed and can find nobody to clean up the mess
> Customers complain about leg problems and sue the company
> Workers file a lawsuit for unsanitary bathroom conditions

Imagine the smell...

>>16590871
They said I could become whatever I wanted in life, so now I shit in the sink

>>16590919
yeah theyre fucked if they install these. ada will gut them

>>16591117
lmao

idk if there's actual wagies here but wagies aren't stupid enough to let companies get away with this kind of shit (nly actual boomer wagies are stupid enough though). wagies including myself find ways to get back at the company and you're delusional if you don't think they do. the shittier you treat us the worst things we do. when I was a site supervisor I would train the new workers and would show them all the ways to fuck over the company for starters. all the other worse shit I wouldn't mention just do it myself like literally go off property for hours picking up girls, eating, strip clubs, just fucking around etc. at places where I couldn't risk leaving I just hid in closets shitposting on 4chan and watching porn

>>16590871
poo poo
pee pee
wagie wagie
it's been 5 minutes
now back in your cagie

The 'StandardToilet', created by a start-up company of the same name, has been backed by the British Toilet Association (BTA), a group that campaigns for better bathroom facilities in offices and public spaces.

The Staffordshire based company says it has already had interest from local councils and motorway service stations for the £150 - £500 toilet.

A survey by Protecting.co.uk carried out in July 2019 across eight UK cities found that some people reported spending up to 28 minutes in the bathroom while at work. StandardToilet hope their loos will solve that problem.

They hope to also target offices as they believe cutting down on the length of employee bathroom breaks would dramatically improve productivity.

'It is estimated that in the United Kingdom alone, extended employee breaks costs industry and commerce an £4 billion per annum', Mr Gill said.

'With the advent of flexible zero hour contracts it is easy to see why our StandardToilet can be an asset to a business.'

He says it provides health and wellbeing benefits through improved posture and encouraging less time sitting on the toilet.

'Medical studies have suggested that using the traditional WC can cause swollen haemorrhoids and weakening of pelvic muscles.

'The StandardToilet provides Increased comfort through promoting the engagement of upper and lower leg muscles which helps reduce musculoskeletan disorders.'

>>16590871
Kek wagecucks deserve this

what is this with wagies shitting fucking kek

>>16590871
it takes me like 15 minutes to shit on average at home, is there something wrong with me?

>>16591355
>it takes me like 15 minutes to shit on average at home, is there something wrong with me?
Yes

>Most professionals recommend spending no more time on the toilet than it takes to pass a stool. Studies have shown that the average bowel movement takes 12 seconds. Sometimes it does take longer, however, so at maximum, you should not spend more than 10 minutes on the toilet.
https://www.geisinger.org/health-and-wellness/wellness-articles/2017/10/27/15/44/poop-or-get-off-the-potty

>>16590871

thats how the toilet be designed desu
no need for squatty potty

>>16591367
>professionals
That's fine for them but what about us amateurs?

>>16591314
>>16591349

COME IN HERE AND SMELL MY ASS MR SHEKELSTEIN

>>16591419
Based. I’d just draw out my shits every time and make me shekelstein smell my ass over and over again.

>>16590871
>employee has IBS, takes forever to shit
>Sues for medical discrimination
Kikery always gets its just desserts.

>>16591450
>sitting in office cubicle
>see Boss Shekelstein walk into shitter
>"WOJACK! YOU MAKE BIG POOPY YET? BEEN 9 MINS"

>>16590871
immediately thought of biz when I saw this.

OH WAAAAAAAAAAAGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE

>>16591168
This is why you don't flush.

>>16591168
Really? People get in trouble for 10 min shits? What’s your position? People at my work waste up to an hr constantly

>>16591388
Top kek!

>>16590871
My boss could really use one of these, ahaha. The hours on the clock I spend on the shitter are unreal. Sorry, boss.

Fucking wagies. Who wants to sit and bask in the smell of their own shit and the shit being sprayed into the toilets adjacent to them?
Do you not have clients? Do they not care that your clothes and hair smell like shit?
Fucking disgusting wagies. You get what you deserve.

Fuck yeah, never missing leg day is now real.

this is the free market stop complaining commies

>>16590871
>sitting while you shit

Full-pants-removal and squat-on-the-seat-to-shit master race reporting in.

>>16590871
No way these are ADA compliant

>>16591168
How do you people work in such shit environments without snapping and going full auto?

Man up faggots

>>16591314
All that when really they just want to stop employees from taking long bathroom breaks legally. They generally don't care about you they just care about making money even id your one of the best employee's if your production falls below the quantity you usually bring you'll get reprimanded EVEN when the quantity is still higher than your coworkers.

>>16591117
Based. Wait for them to install all of the toilets, then take a smug picture and post it all over the bathroom

>>16590871
That is racist as fuck against blacks. #PANTSDOWNLETMEPOOP

Im browsing this thread from my basement toilet sanctuary right now! I just stand in here though so these Orwellian tactics will have no effect on me.

>>16590965
this lmao they have no idea

>>16591314
Why don't they just kill us all and replace us with robots if they're so worried about productivity. Shitting costs Mr. Goldberg 4 billon a year, boo fucking hoo.

I won’t need to upgrade, because my wagies only clean the bathroom once per month. I’m so glad they all shit at home. HAHAHA WAGIES

>>16590919
fuck yeah i am
>treated with respect at work
>paid well
>good benefits
>still take any chance I have to fuck with the company and hurt them if it helps me in any significant way

companies that treat you well do so purely due to a perceived monetary incentive on their end, never treat any employer with respect or loyalty unless you have active ownership of said company, my fellow wagies

Poo poo pee pee

>>16590965
based as fuck

>>16591206
kek

>>16590871
I will sit on the piss-covered floor if it means getting a 10 minute break from work. You retards have no control over me.

>>16591314
>>'It is estimated that in the United Kingdom alone, extended employee breaks costs industry and commerce an £4 billion per annum', Mr Gill said.

The only people not seeing those profits are the literal 1% lmfao. The workers aren't hurt at all.

>>16592098
>Company treats employees like shit
"Wha wha, companies treat me like shit so I'm silently protesting by being a lazy ass"
>Company treats employees well
"Wha wha, they're only treating me well so they can make me more productive, not because they love me like mommy does. I'm gonna silently protest by being a lazy ass"

Just admit you're a drain on society and get on with it.

>>16591349
>take a fart spray with me and spray on my liquid shit
>they have to evacuate the building after I'm done

>>16591620
Does anything but the big stall need to be?

i work from home 3 days a week. the 2 days in the office are the only ones where i do any work, which is nice because the day goes by quickly. boredom is the fucking worst at the office.

>>16590871
If I’m in the bathroom wasting time I’ll lean against the wall.

Can’t care. Even if this was gonna be a thing

Where my /jerkoffintheshitteratwork/ bros at

>>16590923


I take 2-3 paid shits at work 10-15 minutes each. Suck my dick you middle managing cunt.

>>16592098
the wagie cries out as he strikes your profits

>>16591120
Also check out my quads bro, I’ll be fine

RAGIE WAGIE STOMPE HIS FEET IN BATHROOM HE CANNOT SHEET
RAGIE WAGIE TAKES TOO LONG
BOSSMAN NOSEBURG SINGS THIS SONG
WAGIE WAGIE BACK TO WORK
TOILET BREAKS WILL BE 5 MIN SHORT
I DONT CARE IF YOUR LEGS BREAK
MY MONEY IS WHAT YOU ARE HERE TO MAKE

>>16591314
For this reason I blast farts when I’m faking the funk, also bathroom spray.

>>16592466

I would sell the following:
-toiler seat cushion is sloped to the exact inverse grade of the new wagie toilet seat
-easy slip-on disposable & flushable covers that can be slid on before use to keep product sanitary
-covers cannot crinkle, seat cusion should be compactible and fit within a container that would be stored in a briefcase or backpack
-machine washable
-mounts for phone/portable chargers, laptops, tablets
-goddamned comfy
-remarket as a solution to the above/general wagies, sell on two other sites as a medical/health product for people without assholes or some shit and one pushing hr depts to provide these upon request for reasons of ergonomics or even keynesian-ergonomics
I don't see why a competent individual couldn't actually make some money off of this.

>>16592504
WAGIE WASTES TIME ON THE LOO
TODAY FOR YOU THERE IS NO POO
LAZY WAGIE CRIES AND BEGS
TOILET SNAPS AND BREAKS HIS LEGS
"MR GOLDBERG PLEASE BE KIND!
THE TOILET SHOULDN'T BE INCLINED!"
WAGIE FALLS AND PULLS A NERVE
"NOW YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE"

>>16590898
at this point just assume that anything that gets posted on 4chan is real. thats how bad shit is getting now.

>>16591367
I'm usually done with my shits within 60 seconds (including cleaning). Does that make me a pro?

>>16591314
These people can't see beyond their own assholes lmao. What the fuck. Now you'll just have people spacing out instead, people already work too much in the first place

>>16590871
I honestly prefer squating and I’m not even a Pajeet/Chink

>>16592480
Gotta pump those numbers up. Those are rookie numbers in this racket. I myself, I shit for 20-30 minutes at least four times a day.

>>16591349
Never flush.
Sit for unlimited amount of time.

>>16591250
this in the only situation in which i would call this behavior based and redpilled as fuck

>>16590871
You fucking idiot falling for the MEME

>>16590965
Don't worry bros I will make an add-on so you are able to sit straight

>>16590871
>https://www.marketwatch.com/story/fiendish-tilted-toilet-meant-to-cut-down-on-workers-bathroom-breaks-2019-12-17

oi you hav a loicense fer that poo m8? Right, off the crapper then that'll be a tenner

>>16593641

>>16593648

>>16592098
this is why chinas winning you cuck, go to spain or something they work 2 days a week, or just keep complaining whatever works for you.

>>16590944
people have sued for less
and won

>>16591518

most white men are actually productive at work and have jobs that require attention and capacity

>>16591635

this but ironically

>>16592496
nice brah

>>16592466
actually done this many times

>>16593714
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvLuG8iKAxA

>>16592466
I do this, I use the company wifi to download bestiality and fap in the shitter

>>16593820
Based

>>16591314
>sign
If this was my workplace I would take 11 minute bathroom breaks hourly and drop a fart just before i opened the door. Imagine this seething roastie middle manager gritting her teeth as she samples your gut stench for the 4th time since lunch

>>16591349
Imagine the wagie cuck who's job it is to sniff the bathroom for shit stinks.

>>16594162
Won't this effect women more than men? They love going to the toilet to talk to their friends.

This might be sexist and misogynistic

>>16590871
This is awful from an ergonomic point of view.
Fucking retarded burgers.

>>16590871
jesus lulz, diabolical and genius

should also cover the walls in a material that block signals

thanks god I'm not a waggie

>>16590871
one of my favorite things to do is take the morning dump in the office while browsing the webs. especially after the cleaning crew just gone done sterilizing everything and spraying freshener. it's very relaxing. only problem I've had is the lights turning off because I haven't moved in over ten minutes. overall, very comfy. would hate to see a switch to these toilets.

>>16594383
That's the point you dingus

>>16590871

>>16590871
Uh oh

>>16594563
My point is that you won't even be able to have the poo out of your asshole easily, your rectal angle is basically closed meaning people will probably stay LONGER in the fucking bathroom to do the same amount of shitting.

>>16590944
what is this from?

>>16594430
what is this from?

If i see any nostrils poking in the door they are getting a good spray of pic related

>>16592617
heheh thats pretty good

>>16594734
dunno

>>16594756
mh mmh mm no no no

>>16591349
>rajeev
>implying there are places that don't smell like shit in mumbailand

>>16593648
TWAT

>>16590931
Tfw even westerners on this board only post while shitting

>>16593853
>Get to the office
>Working the night shift
>Wait for the general manager to leave
>Need an access card to enter my office
>I am the only one allowed in here during the night
>As soon as he leave I pop out my phone
>Connect to the wifi
>Download some porn, watch Netflix
>Around 10pm I drink my first coffee and eat something
>@11pm I jump into the bathroom and take a shit
>Spend about 1 and a half hour
>Get back to my desk and resume the movie
>@2am go to sleep until 5am
>Take my morning shit
>Drink morning coffee
>Go home

Jokes on them I squat on the toilet lid

T. Slavic

>>16595217
that job sounds fucking blessed anon

>>16594711
interestingly i found shitting is easiest with a straight back leg position doesn't matter as it is unrelated to pelvic tilt unless dull on compressed squats

I hate people (usually boomers) who need to take a shit everytime they eat or drink something. They are like fucking babies and my work toilets smell like shit all the time.

Based chinks will immediately release an adapter.

>>16593571
Haha. I was reminded of this episode too. I like Butters' strategy of using the tank to hold his chocolate milk and comic book.

>>16592617
based

>>16590871
These are harder to shit in... The human body is designed to shit with the knees above the pelvis, not below. This is also even worse for short fags...
Kikes always have to ruin everything, even the toilet.

My boss declared a no smoking policy so instead I drink 5 coffees per day and spend most of the time on the shitter.

>>16593387
Don't forget slavic