/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>16076286
>why you wasted it
extreme addiction/overexposure to rpg/mmo/loot grinder type games in my formative years (parents bought me any game I wanted starting around age 6) has permanently stunted my d2 dopamine system which is implicated strongly in executive functioning, motivation, ambition, reward, sex drive, and everything else that makes people get off their ass and actually do things. I am not sensitized enough to feel any 'salience' or 'wantingness' about the world and the objects in my environment. It feels like a vast spiritual inertia, like there is a cold immoveable boulder where my soul should be. So I've wasted 2 decades of my life just sitting around like a dumb cunt while life passed me by. Not because I wanted things but was too afraid or retarded to pursue them, but simply because I did not want anything to begin with. Not fame, not sex, not shiny toys, not anything.

Luckily the same lack of inner wantingness means I don't need to cope with my wasted my life. I don't feel regret or despair. I just face one cold blank day after the next without emotion or reaction. And I mostly pass the time by playing the same shit types of games that stunted me as a child, mostly out of habit now (they're certainly not fun anymore but they do waste time efficiently which is all I need them to do anymore)

>>16076286
I envy people who get to waste their life.im wasting my life not even the way I want to by being a nonconsumerist wage cuck

>>16076286
>>16076427

your life is only wasted if you give up. get up and go do anything that is more productive than what you are currently doing. you can turn it around at any age, it’s all about mindset and there is no age limit on that

Not /biz/ related. I wish you fags would kill yourselves. Fentanyl makes it really easy and totally painless. You just fade to black. You are unconcious before you start seizing and vomiting so you don't experience all that horrible shit.

You can get an exit-sized dose of fent for like $30. Please consider it. Stop clogging up this board with garbage.

>>16076427
i dont belong in this thread because i didnt read that long fucking blog post

crisis averted

>>16076518
That's pretty expensive

Any ideas for moonshot coins to buy so I can afford suicide fent?

I think I will buy RLC, it looks like it will 3x and then I will be able to co.fortoably fent myself

Ive never wanted anything. I waste time watching endless movies, playing games, soxializing, etc. But a deep part of me wants to be productive, to make something of my own but I dont know what exactly.

>>16076469
>get up and go do
>go do
that is literally the part of my brain that is missing. The go do part. If you're fucked any other way, you can squeeze your 'go do' muscle and work to make it better. But if your 'go do' muscle is broken in the first place there is not really anything that can be done. It is like expecting an RC car to drive when the batteries are out.

It is hard to get across because it's a very invisible sort of feeling that you don't notice when you're having it - that 'draw' that certain objects in your environment have that pulls you towards them. That's the salience factor I am talking about. When it's totally gone it's like being trapped in a glass prison, you can still see everything but none of it has any purchase or 'grippiness' to you. There is nothing in anything that would predispose me to pursue it over other options. So I just sit quietly and let time pass instead. Years and then decades, sitting quietly. Because my 'go do' or 'decision' muscle which determines goals and sets targets in the environment for me to pursue never developed.

I hate atheists and I used to be one myself. You need to figure out what life IS and ISN’T. Is it really just a big accident that magically continues to thrive in the face of unfathomable odds? Or is it possible that you don’t know what the fuck is right in front of your face?

>>16076427
I feel kinda like you, but kinda don't. Society is shit and if I would live in a world with social 2d waifus (who are actually good girls), odds are I'd have the most normal drive in the world. I still learned a bunch of things as I live today. But the things I want are really unattainable and I am existing faaaaaaaaaaar below my potential... I'm probably at 20%-40% of my potential at most.

>>16076575
but anyways, 4chan is all about motivational shia lebouf brotalk where the solution to anything is to JUST DO IT without any appreciation for the myriad layers of psychology and neurology that can color, alter, or derail that decision path. There's JUST DOING IT and then there's moral failure and that is literally a complete picture of the 4chan model of human psychology/behavior. So it's not like I expect anyone to give a shit about what it feels like to not have an inner spark at all.

Anyone know the best book on life structuring and discipline? My ability to concentrate on long term goals is not the best. I'm in good shape physically and fiscally. But I've been working on a project that I have barely moved on for 3 years. Bc I find other shit to do instead.

>>16076607
That's nice retard, but I know for a fact you did absolutely zero actual hard math or research.

>>16076286
My pathetic 10k link suicide stack is all I have to show for my 31 years on this earth...

>>16076636
sounds like you need to go cold turkey on the stimulants but I guess since you have no will left you won’t go seek help. wish you the best anon, I feel bad for you and hope you decide to break the cycle

I eat foods that cause big shits.

Then every day, twice a day I take 30 minutes and have monster terds.

This makes me feel good & forgot the hopelessness of it all.

>>16076286
Madness and depression. Ive been a loner since I was 7 years old, I never really had any friends that stuck around when we werent forced to be in the same place every day, no girls my age ever found me attractive, dad went off and started a new family and made less and less time for me, stepdad died, "friends" abandoned me first year into highschool, normie kids treated me like shit because I was weird and quiet, teachers/principals did everything they could to fuck me over, and eventually I realized that everyone would be better off with me dead. I took nihilism to heart and lived self destructively. I hated myself so much that I sabotaged my own future because I was planning to be dead by now. I made "I'll never be good enough for anyone ; im worthless and wish I was dead" my life philosophy. Eventually I just dropped out of highschool and went to military school where for once in my entire life I felt like a normal person. I had a lot of pals, a great roommate/bunk neighbors, the sergeants believed in me, for once I was good enough for somebody else, and only 8 weeks later i graduated with my GED and went right back to square one. All my closest friends ditched me again, and Now here I am 3 years later working at a shitty grocery store getting 2 days of work a month because Im not a chatty bro that talks about cars and sports or a boomer thats been working there since the 70's. I have no passion, no hobbies; , even people ive played vidya with online hate my guts and treat me like shit nowadays. Never fall into self hatred anons, dont follow my path into despair. Know that you're good enough to be alive; follow your dreams and raise proud families.

What do you guys consider a wasted life?

>>16076575

nothing is inherently meaningful or desirable.
why do you think there should be a "drive" to change anything about your life if it's comfortable?

sounds to me like you feel somehow guilty for your passive lifestyle and try to come up with explanations to cope

>>16076286
I spent a year of my waking life in world of Warcraft according to the in game timer. I was born ugly though so it’s not my fault.

>>16076974
See, you are trying to add moral undertones to the equation. I don't regret or feel shame in doing nothing. I am just explaining my experience of doing nothing, which has always to me felt mechanistic in origin (I am simply lacking a certain mechanism or capacity that others enjoy and take for granted). I mention the videogames as a child not because I feel guilty for having played them, but knowing what I know about how they coopt and abuse motivational circuitry and knowing the excess with which I played them during my formative years, I consider it a likely explanation for my broken/stunted circuitry. I could be mistaken on that count though.

>>16076790
Based and enjoying the simple pleasures of life pilled

>>16076919
anon you are too young to be defeated

if you reacted well the structure and stimuli of the armed forces, pursue it - not every one can be part of the warrior class

I wasted 10 years on drugs, thots, and raves/festivals....

Oh wait, those were the best years of my life.

>>16076286
Poor socialization during childhood due to abusive parents. There's no recovering from it unless you naturally look like an uberchad.

>>16077129
Don't let this board know that. If you spent your teens and early twenties having sex and partying instead of pinching pennies you're a failure.

>>16076427
Same here except for me it’s been extreme addiction to porn and the internet in general. I am actually a doctor now but I consider my life wasted because I fucking hate being a doctor and have lost all my friends so what the fuck am I doing all this for?

>>16076286

The only thing stopping me from killing myself is not wanting to burden my parents with my suicide.

I get through the days by trying to dissociate from reality as much as possible.

>>16077388
Become a corrupt doctor and take cash under the table for steroids, ADHD meds and medicinal weed. Thats what the rich ones do here

take this emo faggot shit to /r9k/