/biz/ - Business & Finance

>I have no idea
clearly, else you wouldn't ask retarded questions. Have an honest suggestion, rope, buy it, use it, stop breathing oxygen waster

Buy BAT and cash out next year after it goes to $10

>>16004459
chainlink

How do you plan on investing $3k if all you have is cash? Mailing satoshi an envelope full of 50’s?

>>16004459
First step is opening a checking account retard. Come back after you've figured that out

>>16004579
Don't open a savings account it's a scam and reduces your liquidity

>>16004594
Do you cash your paychecks or work off the books? Or are you a low level drug dealer? Why are you getting paid in cash?

>>16004562
I dunno, it's why I'm asking. I know it's retarded to you guys, but it's not intuitive to a novice. I've tried lurking here but not knowing what the fuck is what makes it hard to sift through memes.

>>16004579
>>16004594
Like this. I don't know if a savings account is actually a scam or if it's just a meme. If this advice is legit, then cool I didn't know that. If it's not, then fuck. But okay, I'll open a checking account. I've heard banks < credit unions, but who the hell knows. Does it really matter?

>>16004628
I work off the books while still in college.

>>16004459
1k in LINK
1k in BAT
1k in ETH

>>16004653
What country are you in? Let's start there.

>>16004670
US

>>16004694
Great.

Now, what is your working situation? Are getting paid in cash, cashing your paycheques, or are you involved in illegal activities like drug dealing?

If it's the first, you have a few options, including keeping it all off the books to dodge taxes.
If it's the second, go and open a chequing and savings account at a local credit union that doesn't charge you fees. You can also open these accounts with an e-bank, like ING direct.
If it's the third, then keep it all as cash.

If it's option 4 and you're a NEET without a job, then option 2 (open chequing and savings account) applies.

>>16004791
It's the first. I don't mind opening an account somewhere, I just haven't had a reason to until now that I realize I need one to start investing. Is there a preference for where to open an account? Are some places better suited for things like buying crypto, or does it not matter?

>>16004826
Don't buy crypto. It's a great way to lose all of your money on something you don't understand.

Shop around for a place to open an account. Credit unions will be local to you, so try to google: "[your town/state] credit union" and see what comes up. Check out the major banks as well to see what they have on offer (Bank of America, Wells Fargo etc.).

Once you have a chequing and savings account opened, then you will open an investing account. In that account, you should purchase an ETF that tracks the S&P 500 (or 3000), and buy that. Amerisharts can chime in on what the best tax option is for this type of account (e.g. IRA, Roth IRA etc.).

So here's your steps in retard simple language:
>open chequing account (look for low/no fees)
>open savings account
>open investment account

>>16004911
I'd like to understand it so that I can one day invest in it, but I can't seem to get any actual advice on it past "Buy LINK".

So basically any place that has low/no fees? That's the only criteria? If two places both have no fees for example, there's nothing else that would put one above the other apart from the location being close/convenient?

What about what that other anon said earlier, about savings accounts being scams? Was that just bullshit?

Also thanks btw

>>16005059
>but I can't seem to get any actual advice on it past "Buy LINK".
Guess you had better start digging. Took about a week of research before I truly realized what I had.

3k to your name? That's not a whole lot.

Gonna level with you op i don't think you're ready to invest. Not having a bank account leads me to believe that you don't even know what you are doing with your money, much less ready to piss all your money in memecoins.

Open a bank account, get more money (you should keep at least 3-6 months of living expenses in your bank), and then start reading on investments in the mean time. If you listen to this board, very likely you're going to lose all your money at your level. 3k is probably enough in your bank, then you can put whatever future income you have into investments.

I think you should read this book. If you know fuck all about investing, it gives you a pretty good idea and some sound financial advise to not be retarded. No crypto, but there are some valuable lessons to be had and its pretty short. Personally, I'd say DCA your future income into something crypto, but don't piss away all your money trying to make it big. You'll regret it.

>>16004459
invest in gold and silver

>>16005122
Shit, I'm guessing once I can 100% understand what your pic is saying I'll consider myself someone who somewhat understands crypto

>>16005159
Yeah, I figured it wasn't. Still, it's something I don't need right now and figured I'd finally do something with it, but you're right about me not really knowing wtf I'm doing. I'm basically just existing at this point, and I'd like to start on the path to understanding what I can do with my money.

Thanks for the book, I'll look for it and read it. I don't know what DCA means, but I imagine you're saying to put some into crypto and not all.

Honestly, all I want is to be able to wake up, go to the gym, come home and eat, get online for a while, and then go to sleep. I don't want vacation trips or cars or visits to a restaurant every other day. Don't know if that's "making it big", but it's what I want.

>>16005159
Listen to this guy. The author of the book knows what's up.

Savings accounts are not a scam. That's one of the dumbest things I've ever heard, it's literally just safe place to park your money while it grows (very slowly, admittedly). Though, I'm curious as to why he thinks it's a scam.

>>16004911
>>16005159
Don't listen to these miserable, bitter boomers, OP.

>>16005565

Create a paper wallet, cold storage wallet, or account an exchange, then find a bitcoin atm or someone on local bitcoins to pay with cash. Alternatively, use paxful and find sellers that accept giftcards or money orders, or get a paypal account and load it with a giftcard to buy. There's always prepaid debit cards and visa giftcards as well.

>>16005299
>Though, I'm curious as to why he thinks it's a scam.

Probably one of those dudes who thinks if it's not in a high-interest, (or high-interest potential) account, it's not worth it.

He has a point that you're just pretty much giving your money to a bank to keep, you've got to have a nice, safe, liquid asset storage space.

>>16004459

Go to local garage sales

Buy shit boomers are too retarded to sell on ebay for 5% of retail

Sell that shit on ebay

Repeat

>>16004628
i cash all my checks anon because fuck the government what thefuck you some kind of bootlicker? you bail ins are going to be a thing next crisis right? RIGHT?

invest in chainllink. link represents the largest transfer of wealth in human history, and it hasn't even started yet. Anon, you haven't discovered a cheat code. You've discovered the future of the human race. Yes, you are early enough. Yes, you will make it. Yes, you will look back on the pain of your losses and feel real, genuine pride that you made it through.

I'm here to tell you that it can. and it will. Your worst mistakes will be nothing more than pebbles strewn along the beach that will be your life. And your children's life. And their children's life, too.

You are going to make it.