/biz/ - Business & Finance

I was at my local McDonald's the other day when I saw an overweight man in plaid huddled in the corner by the restrooms. He was intensely focused on something in front him and it wasn't until I got closer I realized that he was playing with the Legos that came with his happy meal. He kept prying the plastic pieces apart and rearranging them on the edges of the table, occasionally muttering the odd phrase or two about "decentralized oracles". Globs of ketchup and mustard were dripping on his shirt from a half eaten big mac laid down nearby. I rushed home and immediately market sold all of my link. I will never be duped by that man again. Just thinking about it makes me sick.

>dopamine running low
>curtains closed
>vitamin d depleted
>feeling the depression coming on
>"w-we're going to be rich a-arent we??"
>breathe a sigh of relief
>other anons are reassuring you you're going to make it
>ten minutes pass
>the feeling has worn off
>time to make another thread
>"link price prediction thread"
>yeah that's nice... look at all those numbers
>put all the posted numbers and multiply them with your stack
>haha wow, thats a lot of money
>imagine what all you could do with that money
>maybe i'll finally have sex...
>sun peeks through the curtains
>you hear your parents waking up
>hehe, fucking wagies
>the depression comes back
>the dopamine rushes dont last as long as they used to
>time to make another thread
>"is 300 link enough to make it?"

>>15892133
This. Bunch of 4channers tried to force it as /ourcoin/, during the presale ico phase of chainlink there was a minimum requirement of 300eth to enter the presale. Bunch of anons pooled up together and shared presale links to fill them with their eth. Coin continued to get shilled and pumped up and hyped for the sibios event that link was attended, whole event turned out to be a flop chainlink had a presentation in a room of like 18 people next to the public toilets, literally no news or partnership came from the event and the coin dumped back to below ico prices and created 1000's of bagholder anons. Now during this alt bull run lots of anons and took advantage of this and shilling this coin to all the new money and newfags that joined in december and don't know this story. The coin is HEAVILY manipulated and the supply is dried up from huge whales who accumulated below ICO price to create a artificially lower supply (a lot like REQ) and these people have so much room to dump on all of you faggots to still be in profit when the time comes. In regards to actual project that chainlink aiming to achieve it's nothing more than a basic json parser for smart contracts, would take like a day to add to ethereum by itself.. literally making links whole concept pointless and definitely no need for a token. Would take a lot longer to get it working with bitcoin but the bitcoin core devs would be able to work out the solution a lot quicker than chainlink will, think that's something worth noting that literally nothing is completed and you're literally just buying a whitepaper, they have only 2 developers and they don't communicate at all with no proven background on either, in fact sergey was involved in a project before chainlink called NxT that he since been abandoned until it was took over by a new developer team

I am a racist and I hold Chainlink. And I know I'm not the only one. I first heard of this smartcontract middleware project when posting in Stormfront. We were brain-STORMING (pun intended) some ideas that we nazis could use to undermine women and minorities and some intelligent anon brought up investing in the project and became the most upvoted idea. What does Chainlink have to do, at all, with opressing women and minorities you may ask? Well, I will explain to you in a way even a pathetic, weak and stupid female would understand, so you better be grateful here:

Because of the inefficiency of modern day contract enforcement, generally dominated by slow and inefficient government owned courts, in the last decades modern society has seen a huge explosion in the number of people employed as white collar workers. The stereotypes about white collar workers, all of them, are absolutely true. They are lazy pieces of shit, doing non-essential make-work while browsing their phones, maybe doing an hour or two at most or real work in the entire day. This is the context in which women entered the "work"force in masse. Women can't do real jobs. Well, maybe 10% can do something useful, but most of you only strut around in air conditioned offices like you're the hottest shit in the world, while men still do 95% of the work.

So... what is going to happen to all that unnecessary administrative bloat? Thanks to our man Sergey Nazarov the days of you paper pushers, lawyers and other parasites are numbered. Within a decade all these jobs will almost be gone. Smart contracts will make all of you go back into the kitchen, where you should have always been because there won't be a Jew megacorp willing to waste its money in hiring you when NEET nodes will do it for a fraction of the price.

Chainlink, the currency for a bright future where women will be oppressed and niggers curb stomped into extermination!

HEIL FUCKING HITLER
LONG LIVE SERGEY NAZAROV, THE LEADER OF OUR REVOLUTION

>Sergey is sitting in the board room of Exxon Mobil
>Ready to sign a contract which lets Exxon operate a node, and utilize LINK for smart contracts relating to the sale of oil
>Sergey twitches slightly to the side to pick up the pen
>He's ready to sign the document. This is it
>One of the two lower buttons on his shirt shoots out at Mach-4 speeds and hits the chairman of the board in the eye
>It shoots straight through his skull and ricochet through the room for what seems like an eternity
>After 40 seconds the button stops
>Sergey looks around, and his button killed nearly half the board of directors
>He quickly signs the documents and runs the fuck out of there
>Always prepared. Always sneakers

Before you buy, let me tell you a story.
I was visiting San Francisco to see one of my friends. We went to a strip club, and while I was there, I saw Sergey, surrounded by women. He was throwing tons of money at them, but not just bills. It was stacks upon stacks of $10,000, sealed up with the white paper bands, like he had just come straight from a bank.
I went up to him and congratulated him on the success of Chainlink as of late (this was about a month ago), and he started laughing. He took a hefty swig from a bottle of Dom Perignon, and said, "Yeah? You think I care, stinky?"
Confused, I asked what he meant, and said that he had obviously put a lot of work into LINK and he should be proud.
"I don't give two fucks about Chainlink, kid."
He was about to say something else but one of the strippers tapped him on the shoulder. Sergey pulled out from his pocket the biggest ziplock bag full of cocaine I've ever seen in my life. It looked like one of those gallon bags, almost bulging at the seams. The stripper ran off into a back room with it.
He then pulled out a Zippo lighter.
"You wanna know what I think about Chainlink?"
He picked up his bottle of champagne on the floor, pulled about 20 stacks of bills from a duffel bag, threw them on the floor, poured champagne all over them, flicked his Zippo, and dropped it onto the pile. Almost instantly the whole stack caught.
I stared at him, speechless.
"It's called a 'PUMP and DUMP,' kid."
He laughed as he watched the pile burn before losing interest and going into a back room with his entourage of strippers following carrying duffel bags full of what I assume was money and coke.
This is the man you are supporting by buying LINK.

Nice stories

can someone PLEASE post the cyberpunk chainlink copypasta. one of the lines was how nolinkers were committing suicide and jannies had to clean it up

>>15892125
wrong lol

>>15892218
i love that one

More pastas please

Needs we are all in this together pasta

>>15892202
I made this heh

>>15892218
I have screencaps of the whole thing. I'll post it when I get home.

>>15892633
thank you anon

>>15892544
Nice work :)

This was it. The culmination of decades of devotion leading up to this very moment. He exhaled calmly as he entered the room, it was just as busy as he had imagined, although that didn’t worry him anymore. He smirked to himself as he thought about how he used to struggle in front of crowds. Then he smirked remembering the meme of him smirking. “Those bastards didn’t miss a fucking thing” he thought. He regained his train of thought and dialled back in on the task in hand. He had gone over this moment in his head what seemed like seven-hundred-thousand times, over the years. He knew every detail of his plan and what needed to be executed. But what struck him, was that no one had noticed him walk into the room. He was the most wealthy man on the planet and was accustom to being recognised wherever he went yet not today. His disguise was holding up. He caught a glimpse of his reflection in a window and admired his plain black t-shirt and black baseball cap combo, coupled with black jeans and all black Chucks. It was his own little nod to Steve Jobs and it seemed to be working. The flannel was a dead giveaway in public, and he had really grown to hate it over the years anyway. He approached the front of the room, feeling empowered and confident in his new found anonymity, when he caught the gaze of a janitor in the wings. The janitor was staring at him intently whilst he gripped the handle of his mop. He noticed the janitors knuckles were white with the force he was gripping his mop with and was certain he had recognised him. He knew he should have shaved, how could he have been so brazen.

>>15893130
There was only one thing he felt was safe to do in order to get out of this situation so he just smiled kindly yet softly at the janitor. The janitors eyes tightened ever so slightly as a single tear gathered on the corner of his eye. The lone tear broke down the janitors cheek as he turned away and wheeled his mop bucket through a door and away. His heart was now racing. Had he been spotted? Everyone else seemed to not notice him at all. No, he must not deviate from the plan. He was now at the front of the room. A reasonably good looking woman was waiting there for him, she was dressed smartly and greeted him with a warm smile that a stranger uses. She didn’t know who he was. “Good afternoon, Sir! Welcome to McDonalds, what would you like to order?” He made his order and opted to have them take it to his table. Just like his plan had called for, he found the table in the quietest corner of the restaurant and using the WiFi code on his receipt he logged onto the network with his phone. He waited for the server to place his order down and thanked her with a smile. He didn’t want her to catch a glimpse of what he was about to do on his phone, even though she would probably have no idea. Those random words meant nothing to anyone but him. Yet they meant everything to everyone.

>>15893144
According to his plan, just like in his head he slid his phone to the side momentarily and turned his attention to the 7 Big Macs. He ate quickly and in quiet content as he observed the room from his little corner. He hadn’t felt happier than he did now since he went kayaking all those years ago. There is something magical about being out on the water than he just couldn’t describe. He took a sip of his drink, wiped his hands and picked up the phone and composed himself. He ran through every moment that had brought him to this point in time. All the hardship. All the success. He had reached the pinnacle only to be denied the view by the clouds. Still he was satisfied, he set out what he hoped to achieve. He opened up the CoinGecko app, and there proudly sat Chainlink atop the rankings. Each token was $346,567. It permeated every industry like a virus. Spread like wild fire. Just as he had imagined it would. Data is the new oil. He was right, he always knew he was from the beginning. It still gave him a pang of pride to see his creations thriving. He let out a deep breath and pulled his laptop and ledger out and connected them together and to the WiFi respectively. He went about the next few minutes on his laptop and hardware wallet with military precision, then he calmly shut the laptop, packed it away and left the restaurant. Just as when he entered, no one noticed. Or so he thought. A wave of pinging and notification bells started to sound from phones everywhere. The TV on the wall cut to a special news bulletin. The CEO of Chainlink had just market sold his whole developer wallet of tokens at the exact same time that the wallet belonging to Satoshi Nakomoto market sold all their Bitcoin. The world in a frenzy. And as that janitor approached the small table in the corner of the restaurant he seen something written on the receipt which was discarded between the Big Mac boxes... “ FUCK JANNIES”

>>15892125
you're gonna make it fren

>>15893130
baste and fanpilled.

>>15893151
Anon is based

>>15893246
Sometimes my autist story telling skills go haywire. 1k EOY

>>15892218
As his five person company's live valuation slipped below his option
strike price, he reached for his TRNG stress release pistol, placed it
against his temple, squeezed the trigger, and successfully blew his
brains out. This final act is still recognized as the largest creation
of shareholder value in history.

In a future world where even the smallest shittiest startup is traded
on the urbit public markets. Anyone can short sell these hopeless and
poorly managed companies.

This particular CEO is on the risk neutral to risk loving spectrum. So
he uses a TRNG stress release pistol. It's a 250 millibitcoin firearm
that uses a nuclear decay based hardware TRNG that can be set anywhere
from 1 picomort to 1 mort. He keeps his at 1 picomort. The guns are
designed, manufactured, and their risk is syndicated by a web of
distributed companies.

Upon his expiration, his lifeline chainlink oracle triggered the TRNG
stress pistol's smartcontract, instantaneously transferring the life
insurance payout to his wallet.

>>15893405
A stake on your head.

Everyone knows that you don't leave home without a stake. Stake backed. Trust.
It's how the world works.

Want to punch someone in the stomach? Automated sensors captured that
infraction and immediately delivered swift sweet justice to your victim. To the
point where they pity you because of the cost.

Got beat up by a LINK lord? You'll enjoy it, trust me.

Run into a PMP Placeholder with the balance sheet of the solar economy over
their head? Stay the fuck away from them. They don't make mistakes and your
life insurance policy isn't worth that much. Your PMC would be happy to see you
go for the payout that they get.

An unstaked man is akin to a wild animal. If seen in a bar, to be stunned,
disabled, restrained, imprisoned or simply just shot dead in the street.

>>15893419
Historically the market dialectic involved family and markets. The
ultimate incentive of the entrepreneur is often to enrich him, his
immediate kin, and all future progeny. The impetus of markets is to
find and fix capital misallocations. While naturally the entrepreneur
is the ultimate re-allocate of capital the markets provide a means of
doing so with minimal shoeleather cost and the friction goes away to
the point that the market traders can sit behind their screens and
simply code up their version of optimal global capital allocation and
have their machines go to tower.

The nature of the business fundamentally changed in the 22nd century
after essentially all companies were now established as smart
contracts that were often immediately traded on the public markets.
THE advantage is that the capital markets had become so efficient that
raising money to start a company was as easy submitting a form on the
wired. The hard part was that most companies couldn't deal with the
actual stresses of being a publicly traded business from day one. A
la the suicide of our hero in chapter 1.

The good news was that the businesses poorly managed was immediately
shorted in to oblivion. The activist shareholder type still existed
and the wealthy but potentially mismanaged family businesses still
existed. The former more often than not simply acquired the latter at
a price well beyond the NPV of future cash flows in the entrepreneur's
wildest valuations. True risk neutrality is expensive.

>>15893429
Clonedaddy system -- every few years, ranging from 10 to 30 some
number of copies of yourself are created. Artificial womb,
mitochondria-less egg, your own DNA, your mother's mitochondria. The
perfect recipe for the final consolidation. Long chain clone daddies
control most of the remainder of world assets. Playing on levels
abstract. LINK, BTC, physical assets -- ancient manuscripts and
collectibles. Even the remaining banking institutions never bothered
to hold anything physical -- to much risk, too difficult to product,
impossible to syndicate. Irreparable damages and all.

The clonedaddies passed down simple knowledge: compound interest, law
of primogeniture, long term planning, education. For the first time
ever, long term planning with yourself could occur over 200+ year
timespans. Finally eliminating the waste from shortened timepreference
decisionmakers.

Sometimes longchain daddymommy pairs might actually decide to mix and
start a new longchain but this was rare, even frowned upon. New
mixtures seldom kept their chain going much longer than a few
generations. Not to mention the ever-present fear of disrupting the
delicate balance of power that has kept things in place for so long.

>>15892218

>>15892218

>>15893151
holy fuck. what an amazing read.

>>15894053
>>15894082
>>15894088
>>15894099
>>15894105
>>15894110
>>15894121
thank you fren, this is what i was looking for

>>15894115
I think I created a new genre... DeFiction

>>15894314
Your welcome fren