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15805708 No.15805708 [Reply] [Original]

So imagine there's this beach side town, and every week there's an animal parade down the boardwalk. There's two groups of animal trainers, and they're rivals. One's from Spain and has a bunch of bulls and caballeros. The other's from Moscow and has bears and cossacks. Only one group can parade on a given week so they're always fighting it out for who gets to show off for all the townspeople. And the people fucking love it, they're putting bets on "Oh, the Cossacks will get it this time", "No, the Caballeros will, the Caballeros will". Cliques are formed of diehard fanatics for each group, who despise the other performance with a passion, raucously cheering and throwing street parties when their favorite trainers get the parade rpute, and breaking into angry ranting and melancholic weeping when they don't. Maybe the entire town's just that autistic, who knows.

>> No.15805721
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15805721

>One's from Spain and has a bunch of bulls and caballeros.

>> No.15805724
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15805724

>The other's from Moscow and has bears and cossacks.

>> No.15805728
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15805728

Then one day, it's parade time, and the town's out, watching and waiting. And they're standing along the side of the street, hoping to see a bull charging down the road or a hear a bear roaring in the distance, but there's nothing. Everybody's confused. "Where's the parade? There's always a parade..." And then one kid shouts "Look!" and points to the start of the route. And scuttling there, as happy as can be, is a

SINGLE
RUNTY
RETARDED LOOKING
CRAB

Just this tiny fucking crab, with a tiny fucking stupid looking face, scuttling sideways down the boardwalk. Except since it's so retarded, it can't even scuttle in a straight line, it oscillates up and down the path, occasionally stumbling on a knothole or falling down a set of steps. Just the single fucking crab.

And everybody is disappointed, because it sure as fuck ain't as exciting as a bear or bull, so they go home grumbling. "But hey," they think to themselves as they tuck themselves in that night, "at least it should just be this one time. What's the chances of it happening again?"

>> No.15805742
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15805742

>>15805728
I love you Snibbety Snabs. Please be my crustacean gf.

>> No.15805757

kek

>> No.15805761

nice story bro

>> No.15805763

Good story. Sadly you put to much effort into this all for it to be archived it 30mins. Good read OP

>> No.15805779
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15805779

Kekd and saved

>> No.15805817

Good work OP

>> No.15805832
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15805832

>>15805708
a great anthology on the current state of humans investing, specifically on biz as well. Thanks anon.

>> No.15805915

Great work OP, the crab with the Bart got me good!

>> No.15806096
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15806096

>>15805728
nice

>> No.15806137

cossacks are Ukrainians, dumb burger

>> No.15806260

>>15806137
Ukraine is rightful Russian clay