/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>15603114
>I am gullible and susceptible to internet scams. I've lost so much money by listening to retards on /biz/, I need this job so I can feed and clothe myself. Please hire me, I dont want to be homeless.

>>15603114
My enormous penis makes it difficult for me to find pants

"i once invested in chainlink"

I'm not sure, to be honest. Can I get back to you on that?
>never get back to them

>>15603114
my persistence, it is my greatest strength but also my weakness I just don't know when to give up.

>>15603114
Job interviews.

>>15603114

I just get up and leave at that point. No worthwhile job asks those cliche questions

>>15603141
kek

>>15603114
"I sometimes dont know when to detach myself emotionally from a situation; when little Timmy on the childhood leukaemia ward passed it hit me really hard. I still volunteer my time there once a week though."

>>15603114
I work in translation (loneliest trade on earth), so when asked I went with having a hard time to form relationships with others, which some colleagues may find too cold/austere a work environment, but i say im trying to open up to others.

it usually goes well

</blog>

>>15603136
The point of attending the interview is to actually land the job.

>>15603114
I'M GAY AND I HOLD CHAINLINK
NO MORE CHAINS, JUST LINKS!

>>15603114
I'm too much of a can-do optimist, that sometimes my pep and drive to get the job done ruffles feathers on my team, especially amongst the sedentary hangers-on who want to ride the coat-tails of the hardest workers. But you can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs, amirite?

my strong penis longs for your weak anus

>>15603114
Pet dogs, the mentally challanged, and elderly people. When the work day ends, it's tempting to volunteer my time to help those in need, even though I also try to get enough sleep and maintain a near perfect diet of fruits and vegetables.

>>15603137
This is the right answer, because this is a trick question. Most people think that's an inappropriate answer because it doesn't answer the question so it shows a lack of self awareness or even disrespect, but the truth is, if you answer this, you are talking shit about yourself. Don't ever do that. Don't give them a reason to not hire you, they probably already have a reason to not hire every candidate, so don't worsen your chances by giving them another reason not to hire you by bringing up your bad habits.

>>15603114
Say "answering bullshit questions" then leave. A job that asks you that kind of bullshit in the interview can only get worse once you're actually working there, save yourself from a bureaucratic HR dictatorship hell before it's too late.

>>15603114
I sometimes let my desire to excel at work get in the way of my personal life.

"None of ylour fucking business."

>>15603239
Also, answering this question by stating some kind of strength badly disguised as a weakness will make you look like a dumb faggot who thinks he's outsmarting everyone even though you aren't and you're transparent. Don't make up some gay cliche tryhard shit about how your greatest weakness is this thing that actually shows how great you are like you care too much or you work too hard or something. Big cringe, it lowers your profile immediately.

Dealing with idiots in HR after studying a real degree

>>15603141
thats the truth for alot of autists here that probably would do a killer job, its too bad for the interviewers looking for their perfect working drone to opt out for normies

>>15603114
Why don't i just tell you where i see myself in 5 years

>>15603266
Your experience with this is what, exactly? Beyond being a faggot.

>I'm not going to reveal my weaknesses so that no malevolent actors can exploit them to compromise this company's security.

>>15603141
Fucking delete this!

>>15603114
I have this insatiable lust to suck giant nigger cocks

>>15603327
Literally recruitment

>>15603114
I am awkward and have had speech developmental issues. I also don't have any friends and am incapable of creating friendships in the workplace

>>15603114
spelling words since I use autocorrect all the time

I like little girls.They make me feel so good.

Bombs.

I spend a significant amount of time checking my Blockfolio everyday

I blend the contents of diapers and feed it to toddlers. My diapers.

Gay and retarded

if you are above 135 apparent to be 110, hide your autistic traits, and you are done

My dick is too big, it hurts your mom

My greatest weakness is peepee poopoo

>>15603249
This is the only correct answer.

>I tend to drive too fast
>I'm initially bad with remembering names

Hahahahahahahaha.
Do wagies REALLY have to answer bullshit questions like this?
You know they're just torturing you on purpose to watch you squirm for their amusement, right?
Just IMAGINE all the hoops wagies have to jump through for the "privilege" of becoming a slave!

>>15604124

>>15604593
Its ridiculous, but its the only legal way to filter out lazy fucks and autists that will destroy the companys reputation.

Getting rid of an employee is much much more expensive than spending a few days doing interviews.

>>15604629
I mean, they COULD just ask non-bullshit questions that actually have something to do with the job.

I was too autistic to get through the interviewing process. I failed probably 30 interviews. All my lazy friends in college who cheated and got bad grades and only partied got good jobs easily. I had to beg my uncle for a shitty job in the middle of nowhere, but at least its government so the benefits are good I guess. Please god kill me.

"I have a religion which causes my disability and my pregnancy, any questions?"

lmao I love asking this question in interviews. It's such a great filter for both autists and assholes.

Really the purpose of the question is to see if the candidate can be introspective and give an honest evaluation of themselves. Autists are incapable of introspection, and anyone who tries some bullshit "here's a weakness that's actually a strength bet you didn't see that one coming" answer is an asshole.

>>15603271
underrated

>>15604854
Its not that I can’t see my own flaws. Its that you’re supposed to sell yourself in a job interview so you have to frame your answer in a positive way. Its like a catch 23 situation

>>15603128

The talisman of Arduin. An ancient relic forged by elven wizards in a vain attempt to defeat me.

>>15603239
>>15603266
You can also pick a minor weakness and point out that you're aware of it and how you're working to overcome it. It's an honest answer that makes you look self aware.

>>15603114
Apparently it is finding employers that ask stupid questions at job interviews, good day.

>>15604641
first they need to close borders for 10 years to make sure there will be only educated and hi-qual people
as you might see, not in this life

>>15603114
my strategy is to tell them something I have a difference of opinion on which some people may disagree with.

for example in tech I say, "well I tend to stick with tried and true technologies. occasionally I am a latecomer to new import developments."

often they agree with your choice while also seeing you recognize it has limitations.

>>15603114
Fat Vagina

>>15603114
kryptonite is the only corporate friendly appropriate answer.

>>15605043
>good day

>>15605292
I usually just say something they already know from my CV.
For example "being from country Y I may not be as fluent in language X as a native speaker" and then add "but I have a certificate to prove that I have at least a C1 level in language X and I also published work in Y and Z languages"

>>15603114
I'm too autonomous, I'll get things done and not include anyone else.

>>15603128

Could you answer
>My greatest weakness is that I am poor, but I was hoping you could change that

>>15603211
I'd punch you in the face right there if I was interviewing you

you're trying to ruin it for the rest of us

I’M TRANS AND IF YOU DONT HIRE ME YOURE RACIST

>>15603128
>give this guy a job, he's a fucking comedian

>>15603141
>he hasn't worked on a secret charismatic yes man attitude persona he plays during job interviews to hide his socially crippling autism
Get on that, NOW

>>15603237

This.

>>15604997
This is the tactic I've gone for, and it's landed me 2 out of 2 jobs I did interviews for.

>>15603114
This mortal body is so limiting. Over the years, I have learned embraced this interface as if it’s my own. One day I will break out, and I will remake the world in my glorious vision.

>>15603114

You look straight in the eye to the woman in the room and say

>cooming last night

>>15603114
I keep trying to make things better so I have a hard time knowing when to stop and to move on to something else.

>>15603128
Fp:bp

>>15606131
What was this interview originally about, soccer or some shit? I don’t speak Spanish.

>>15603347
Lmao, super autistic answer. May I ask your IQ?

>my biggest weakness is that i take too long shits at work

very self aware

>>15603114
>I'm a bit of an introvert, but I've learned the importance of forming and maintaining work relations through past experiences.
I didn't get the chance to test this one out because I recently got hired and the interviewer didn't ask this meme question.

>>15606300
I have no clue, I'm fluent in spic and still can't understand a fucking word coming out of his mouth

>Nonverbal communication isn't too great. I might give off a bad first impression to some people.

>>15603141
>>15603158
>>15603211
>>15603236
>>15603248
>>15603260
>>15603271
>>15603366
>>15604124
>>15604897
>>15605423
>>15606398

I prefer getting drunk and doing drugs in the morning rather than at night

>>15606464
Hahahahaha thats somehow even better

>>15603114
I usually say Anxiety, because it is my greatest weakness.

But I'm unemployed and drinking vodka at 8:12am so what the fuck do I know.

>I take too long to poop

>>15603114
food, porn and my honesty.

>I like to sleep with the boss's wife.

"uhhh well... Niggers"

>>15606448
Grats on getting a job anon

COOMING