/biz/ - Business & Finance

>mfw I’m actually Digital Transformation Leader

>this is what we waste millions on

Tfw when you use all of these terms

>>14146843
this shit is a thousand times better than the conference room though. I can call in from home. the the office space.

>>14146843
made me laugh

fucking corporate hell technically illiterate boomer world

>>14146843
bit too close for comfort there

>>14146843
Lel it happened to me when I was an intern. I had no idea you had to introduce yourself when joining a conference call.

>>14146843
>Let's circle back to this on Monday. I'll send you a calendar invite.

>>14146843
>*beep boop*
>Hello who just joined?
I've literally never been on a conference call. Why are these so funny.

>tfw there are people paid twice my salary to just get on conference calls all day while they play around on their phone

Will sticking with my shitty call center job help me obtain this future or should I just quit while I'm ahead?

>>14147135
Can you suck a mean dick?

>the guy that forgets to mute his phone and breathes heavily the whole time while everyone in the conference room tries to awkwardly ignore it

>>14146843

>Where are you based?

>>14147154
I work the shaft.
I dunno, I'm not sure what it takes to get a decent job these days.

>>14147185
sometimes I mutter profanities to myself about the shit I'm hearing on the call. more than once I've had a moment of panic when I wasn't sure if I was actually muted. "oh gawd, did they hear me"?

>get job interview call-back
>im literally taking a shit
>still answer
>they invite me in

>>14146843
I wish I worked for a company like that

>>14146969

do you actually do anything?

>>14147350
No, you don't. There's nothing fun. It's not like you think. Everybody just hate each other.

>>14147415
What's it like?
Are conference calls really like that?
Also, what the fuck are those department names

>>14147457
Imagine a boot stepping on a human face

>>14147457
>Also, what the fuck are those department names

https://www.bullshitjob.com/title/

>>14147522
fucking hell why is that so funny

>jaffa calling

>>14147558

because it's true.

>>14147607
lel
someone link the vid

>all the summerfags in this thread

>>14146843
Fuck this is good...

>>14146843

>Hi this is-*loud dog barking*
>-orry about that, working from home today, yeah this is - *loud dog barking* - speaking
>could you please repeat that, we didn't quite catc-*loud dog barking*
>excuse me guys! it is - *loud dog barking*
>*dog barking loops through mic feedback until entire call is one giant amplified dog bark*

>>14147392
I do about 2 hours of work, the rest is appearing busy while surfing 4chins and flipping shitcoins.
Still hate my job kek

>>14147522

>Internal Optimization Coordinator

>>14146843
Topkek pls delete

>>14147803
KEK

>>14146843
PTSD: triggered

>>14147803
>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA/Screams of the damned
>"Sorry my son is on the spectrum! He's usually quiet!"
This has happened to me before with a contractor/stay at home mom.

>>14148150

LOL did she actually say "on the spectrum"? you should've been like "what are you talking about?" just to make her feel stupid

>>14148150

>>14147321
When I call in for the weekly meeting from my home office I like to make my job interesting by putting the mic on mute and then saying loudly "schlop schlop schlop" over and over. Then I check that I actually was on mute. Sometimes I call myself based doggo after I have schlopped

>>14147507
God I wish that were me

>>14148235
no way

>>14147185
Mfw people ask everyone to mute and I ignore them

Who else here /devilish/?

>>14146843

we live in a boomer society

>>14146843
doesn't every workplace just use google hangouts now? that's what my work uses anyway

It's all just a theater of normies trying to appear/feel important. What a fucking joke.

>>14147522
Holy fuck anon. that site is gold

>>14146843
In 3 months I will give a presentation with hints on how this problem can be fully addressed on-chain.

And yes, BSV only.

>>14147255
be smarter

>>14147099
Trust me you don't want to be in one it is the most retarded form of communication ever and nobody remembers anything they said during the call after a few days.

>>14147803
>Someone not on mute has a text notification blast the call
>feedback loop sounds like the participant is summoning Satan through a transmutation circle

>Beep boop
>Hi, its Karen from HR, who's on the line?
>Hi Karl, you're on the line with Deb & Frank from Digital Implementations & Apps, Joe from Digital Transformation, Todd from Midwest Regional Operations, and Steve from Implementation Analytics, Enterprise Intelligence & Data Science Infrastructure Solutions

>Hi everyone, Karen here again! I need to add an agenda item to the meeting

>Ok Karen go ahead

>It's "The importance of diversity in the workplace" and it's a two hour webinar so be sure to have our companies HR website up, there will be a link you can follow

>We are also starting an initiative here in HR to address a shortage of Transgender people in our workforce and are looking for voluteers to transition

>OP, you were the most popular candidate chosen, we would like you to lead this initiative, we know it's not your department, but you are clearly the most experienced in this field.

>>14148366
She looks hot how many BTT to download her actual pussy in 4K HD and then punch it? Also yes

>>14150213
>Hi everyone, Karen here again! I need to add an agenda item to the meeting

>Ok Karen go ahead

>It's "The importance of diversity in the workplace" and it's a two hour webinar so be sure to have our companies HR website up, there will be a link you can follow

This hurts because its too real

>>14150213
Thanks Karen, whilst outreach to the mentally ill is important for our front of house and corporate image, it's not something we should be getting bogged down in when we are primed to hit the market window by Q3. Let's stick a pin in that and circle back when we've covered all the low hanging fruit, ok? Oh and Karen? Israel has no right to exist

>>14146843
topkek

>>14148466
>mfw purposefully vaping during calls so loud that the participants must be able to actually hear the clouds forming around them

>>14147185
>forgets

>Karen here just to remind you guys of our up coming pride week! Here at Abercrombie and Fitch we celebrate our diversity so make you you invite your gay friends to our cook out!

Its 2 real

>>14148466
I just mute and shame the pajeets or boomers that do this and then unmute after 5 seconds. You will find everyone appreciates it and joins in to call out the retard.

>>14151530
>ausfag
email this week
>"hi guise NAIDOC (National Aboriginal and Islanders Day Observance Committee) week is rapidly approaching. I suggest you do something to acknowledge it with your aboriginal employees or something in the community.

>>14151590
Hitting close 2 home

>>14150551

lmao

>>14147803
Giant amplified kek

>>14150213
damn it man, we were just joking around and you drop this in here

>>14150213
NO I JUST FUCKING SIGNED 10 FUCKING CORRECTIONS BACK OFF TO DOC CONTROL AND NOW I GET STUCK IN A FUCKING MEETING THAT KAREN SPENT 2 WEEKS PLANNING JUST TO TELL ME I NEED TO WASTE MORE TIME LIKE GODDAMN LET ME WORK ON MY FUCKING TESTS.

>>14150551
kek

>>14147076
>Yes Karl, we'll touch base on Monday and get all our ducks in a row.

>>14147522
>direct directives operator

Ok corporate hell threads are actually the best ones

>>14147522

Corporate Integration Director

>>14146843
http://conferencecall.biz/

>>14153491
>>14146843
How do I avoid this mode? What kind of job will have me not having to deal with this shit?

>>14147522
Investor Quality Consultant

synergy

>>14146843
Stop calling me faggots. I'm tripping balls right now and can't deal with this shit.

>>14147522
Principal Program Agent

>>14153491
>http://conferencecall.biz/
oh my god that website hurts my soul, so many of those give me flashbacks to actual meetings I have been in

>>14153713
pretty much every job has this, work for yourself to avoid it

>>14146843
>mfw I'm literally in the Business Transformation department

We just create poweerpoints all day and send them out to execs who don't read them

>>14151590
Those people can actually hold down jobs? Or is it just 100% pity hires?

>>14147522

>>14150213
>TFW used to work in HR to get a foot into the company
>TFW shilled this exact kind of shit

>>14150213
lold heartily ty anon

>>14147321
>oh gawd, did they hear me?
Your lemonade stand has conference calls?

>From: Norman Esiason (bossbewmer420@aol.com)

Hey Cortana

Hey Cortana Start voice to email.

HEY rick I Sarah blogpost related to nods K Y C work ground.

Alexa playtrack dirty laundry by Don Henley , so let’s bump heads on this ....ILL BE RIGHT THERE Nancy JESUS CHRIST. Sorry rick I gotta call you bakkt.

>>14155508
Topkek

conference calls are the FUCKING worst

>>14146843
this is why china crushes you as wechat is da bomb.

>>14153713
The less tech-illiterate boomers in your job, the less conference calls you'll have to tolerate

>>14149192
>In 3 months I will give a presentation with hints on how this problem can be fully addressed on-chain.

>And yes, BSV only.
Bitcoin pbx? Interesting. Faxes and other pots lines as well?

>>14155396
100% pity hires, their wages are subsidized by the government too

>*beep boop*
>Hello who just join
>screech screech screech
>SCREECH SCREECH SCREESCH
>SCHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA