/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>12602188
>tfw no one gives a fuck about your skills and only care that you are extroverted, agreeable, and can bullshit your way to looking competent so they dont have to train you in anything because they cant be bothered

>>12602247
This is how it feels like to scam biz.

>>12602188
Yeah for my current job in a law office I just wore a nice suit and had a relaxing conversation. I don't even have a law degree.

I was never rejected an application, applied three times in my life, got invited to three interviews, got the job every time, always prepared for the interview at least for a week.

>t. js dev

>>12602298
Yeah you don’t need a law degree to be a paralegal push paper work, congrats

>>12602440
>got the job every time, always prepared for the interview at least for a week.
this

>go to a job interview because I really need it
>parents had to make calls and shit to get me the interview
>extremely nervous, voice is shaky and i keep having nervous cough
>mess up half the questions
>they ask about my salary expectations
>am okay with anything
>"we will call you soon"

>fast forward a couple of years
>ath crypto gains
>parents talk me into getting a job because that internet money wont last (ironic)
>they make calls and land me another interview
>0 fucks given because I didnt tell parents that I was nearing a million in crypto
>extremely calm and confident, answer what I know and tell them "no idea" or "didnt know this stuff existed" when asked things I didnt know
>what can you bring to this company?
>dude, I just want the job for the money. If the pay is good and the company isnt toxic, I will work here day and night, if the pay is shit and the culture is terrible, I aint gonna last a month
>ask me how much am expecting to get paid
>a full senior engineer's pay even though I never worked a day of my life
>mfw they call me two days later to come and sign a contract

>>12602188
>tfw never prepare for interviews
>get every job I interview for

>>12602188
>tfw you realize nobody likes the real you
>tfw you therefore try to act a little and cencor yourself
>tfw people can tell you're not authentic

>>12602745
>tfw 50% of this post is true.

Try to determine what is true and not.

>prepare for interview
Lol wtf is this shit? How do you prepare for an interview? Not much you can do besides getting the questions in advance, if you figure that out let me know

>tfw biz is filled with faggot communists

>>12602188
Wrong. I got my best job (100k salary) by preparing a shit ton studying the companies software and actually found a bug in it, a minor one but still.

>>12602188
What's your guys lifetime ratio?
For me its 6 interviews 4 job offers.
Just smile and joke around a bit. Maybe be a little self deprecating but not too much.

>read a memoir
>"I just fell in to that Trading role at Goldman Sachs! Silly me! I was walking to the Princeton Art department when I made a wrong turn and saw a noticeboard with sign ups for campus interviews. I signed up, thinking I was attending a pottery class."

>>12602977
307 jobs applied to. 23 interviews. 0 job offers.

>>12602977
I think my count is 6 interviews and 5 offers. The one that I didn't get was weird and I have no idea why they paid to fly me out for it when they clearly weren't interested. My ability to get to the point of being offered an interview is where I seem to have trouble.

>>12602188
>Prepare for interviews
Wtf

>have interview
>down 750 mg phenibut and some adderall
>crush it
>they only offer me 50k
>LOL
>back to being NEET

>have other interview
>consume 1 g cocaine + pcp
>DESTROY IT
>THEY ONLY OFFER 55K
>LAUGH
>BACK TO BERING NEEG
hehehehUEHUhE

>>12602188
It depends. If you are skilled you just setup a LinkedIn account and recruiters will literally assault you, so it's up to you which company and country to choose. After 2/3 jobs if you have a good network you can go from there and say bye bye to LI and head hunters.
I've never prepared an interview, since in infosec either you know stuff, either you don't.
Just spam the candidate for one full day with technical questions and they realize if you are a pajeet with some fake OSCP certificate or you are a skilled teenager who doesn't give a fuck about certifications but can do the job from day 1.

>>12602977
26 yo, literally hundreds of applications, dozens of interviews, I landed 3 jobs in my entire life.
Been unemployed for 3 years now. Keep sending applications every day, nobody is calling me back.

And that's all for shitty entry-level job that only require high school education.

>>12602188
Because they already look at your resume. They are checking to see if you can act like a human bean in real life

>>12603092
Maybe you should stop whipping your dick out during the interview.

>>12602768
This. It really is all about being confident and not giving a fuck. My best interviews were the ones when I already had a good job and gave 0 fucks.

>>12602509
Maybe true but most uneducated people wouldn't even attempt to get a job in a lawyer's office. They'd say "I can never do that" and go work at McDonalds

>>12603417
My best jobs I whipped my dick out

Never had an interview, first job my dad was like, hey want a job when you graduate? and I said sure and got hired by a company he works with. Every job after that I haven't needed to apply or interview for because they were all recruitment pitches given to me by companies that needed me. Really if you have the right skills and experience you don't even need to apply unless you want something specific, recruiters will come to you with jobs, the spam actually gets annoying after a bit.

I literally do this and have landed 4 jobs out of 5 interviews. It's all about holding a conversation. The one I didn't get was when I was fresh out of college and didn't have enough experience to bullshit with

>>12602247
the person who did this should be fucking hanged
genuinely hope they live a sad life and die a painful death

How to win at interviews:

Ask more questions than the interviewer. That is all. You stay in control the whole time.

>>12602188
80% of any interview is in the bag IF the interviewer likes you. 20% is the technical part.

t. electrical engineer/coder

>>12604754
>Feeling bad for feral pigs that are literally destroying every habitat they touch.
I hope you're not serious, you fucking autist

The idea of putting on a show for some $50k per year HR money horrifies me

All my jobs were from friends and family getting me in

>>12604754
>the person who did this should be fucking hanged
>genuinely hope they live a sad life and die a painful death

He fed a starving gater Fuck yourself. Also this is how the world actually works.

>>12602975
Cucked: 9
Bulled: 9

Rejected : 4
Ghosted by employer : 2
Fired: 3
Ghosted the potential employer after being offered a job: 8
Politely declined : 1 (counts as neutral)
Left: 1
t. Weaponised autism

>>12604754
>feeling bad for wild boars who fuck up other animal environments ten fold

>>12602188
Lol

This is true

I am confident ppl will like me and i look at eaast 7/10

>>12604754
Shut the fuck up you autistic art student

>>12602247
what a dick head thing to do

>>12605418
wish he fed your pussy ass to the thing so you don't breed anymore weak pieces of shit like yourself

>>12603092
my record is: 20,0,0

i wanna die

>Apply for a job
>Told that they'd already shortlisted people and run interviews
>ohwell.jpeg
>Couple of weeks later
>They've reopened the process (either someone turned them down or everybody failed)
>They say they'll review my application
>One day later get a phone interview
>It's tomorrow
Wish me luck anons, we're all going to make it eventually.

>go on 1st interview a week before graduating college
>2 hour on-site where I'm just meeting people
>basically tell me I have the job
>get offer letter the next morning
>been great ever since

guess i lucked out

Depending on what it is and where your fucked right from the get go least in the IT field if your white and only got certs.

Hr Types only want minority's cause diversity looks good. They overstate the job requirements just to make their own job easier to do. They know if they posted the real requirements they'd get 50+ applications. Even though the jobs only require certs they still do it. They'll say for a basic tech or network tech job: Bachelor Degree + 5 yr experience. Bullshit. The real requirements: A+ and/or Network+.

>>12603399
Delete this now reeeeeeeeeeeeee

>>12602745
I explained a Dilbert comic in my interview and got a $70k job.

>>12606964
Or the most desirable candidates went for better opportunities.

>>12602977
5 interviews, 5 job offers. I work in IT, these were developer, analyst and consultant jobs.

>>12607072
there is some truth to this(especially the overstated requirements part) but in the real world div quotas dont mean shit. It can give you a slight disadvantage, but ppl here really overstate their influence.

>>12603177
Software development interviews include knowing certain algorithms. If you forget them (and that is easy because, life, job, you know), it's wise to prepare. See if you can code these things from memory, if not, read online, try again, etc. There's a great book full of brain teasers and questions for the software developer - cracking the coding interview - get it from http://download.library1.org/main/1515000/fcb49f53d5e943ce8acdc4469f63dc5d/Gayle%20Laakmann%20McDowell%20-%20Cracking%20the%20Coding%20Interview_%20189%20Programming%20Questions%20and%20Solutions-CareerCup%20%282015%29.pdf

>>12602188
i didn't prepare but i also wasn't "myself"

just act way more enthusiastic and act as if the job was always your dream

also i applied for an engineering job an knew my stuff

>>12603399
Install MIT Scheme. If you're a PC games, you should be able to do that easily. Learn the two things that make up every program: 'if' and recursion. Yes, in some languages recursion can be optimized into iteration, whatever. The point is that you can learn all there is to know about the core of software development in 10 minutes. When you feel comfortable writing small functions in Scheme, you can move on to python and learn what imperative programming is, and iteration. This is one of the few times that Google is actually your friend. Search and learn. The keyword is 'tutorial'. It should get you a week to learn the basics, a month to explore some more interesting stuff. Learn about strings, arrays (called lists in python), reversing an array, sorting, matrix multiplication, graphs via a matrix, walking a graph with recursion. Once you feel confident, move on to Java or C# (pick just one of the two. they are quite different now, but they started out pretty much the same). Learn about strings, arrays, files, streams, http requests, strings, string encodings. Learn a little about GUI programming (Swing in Java or Windows Forms in C#). Try some of the stuff you already know at this point, but in Java/C#: walking a graph, finding a path in a graph. Learn Dijkstra's algorithm.

Now find from the link I posted above in this thread the book "Cracking the Coding Interview". Keep learning Java or C# until you can do some of the exercises. Then push some more so you can understand almost anything in the book.

If you're brave, take a look at "go language" and C, and after a while, venture carefully into C++. If you're feeling like an alien and have tons of time on your hands, look into Haskell. It took me years to find something explaining what I was looking at (Haskell), and it was a youtube video from a Microsoft employee that did it for me. Avoid Haskell for now.

Then land a job paying between 75K and 180K around Seattle. I'd try Microsoft first.

>be newfag me
>applies for maybe 50 jobs between age 16-19
>get literally no interview
>one day late in August 2015, I pass a resume to some sandnigger store owner
>”can you work monday and Tuesdays he suddenly ask”
>turns out I am already hired from just passing the resumes
>although he’s a shit manager, the experience I got made me get called for interview on almost every single resume I pass
>and of most of them, I am called a week later telling I got the job, but I usually reject because the shifts offered is complete shit

>>12608823
Typo: I meant if you are a PC gameR (with an 'r', not with an 's'). Sorry.

Things I forgot to mention - after you get more comfortable with Java or C#, try writing two programs - a client and a server. See now TCP/IP connections work between the two. Create your own chat server and chat client. See if you can get two clients to chat to each other using your own server as an intermediary. This will give you some idea about what's going on.

Html / Javascript / CSS are from the devil. Avoid them if you can, but sooner or later you'll have to learn something about them. Try to postpone that as much as you possibly can.

>apply for job online
>get a call from the employment agency that advertises it
>start asking me preliminary questions, no big deal
>they mention an "assessment centre"
>ask what that's all about
>its a processing plant where they make all the wagies do tricks to weed out the weak

yeah nah, hung up the phone and never dealt with that firm again

anyone else been told they would need to go through an assessment centre? it sounds degrading as fuck.

>>12602977

5 interviews, 5 jobs. I'm actually socially awkward and get very nervous before interviews so I have no idea how I pulled it off.

>itt entitled shit who don't want to work
Take what your given kiddos, the world doesn't owe you shit.

>>12608879
I applied at an Airport once and this came up in the phone interview
>''h-h-haha yeah sure i'll attend. O-okay thanks, see you t-then''
>Never turned up

>>12608979
I've heard they make you stack objects as high as you can to see who can make the tallest tower. It's really important they know that for this entry level IT job.

>>12608879
did that for my current job. 3 days straight working on example assignments, skill tests, psy tests, even leading the other applicants as a project team while constantly being watched by a group of managers and HR roasties.
Actually it was pretty fun (but I enjoy competitive environment) and Im certain it does the trick weeding out imposters and roasties. Would totally do similar if it was my company desu.

>>12609178
also this was for a legit position.
fuck companies that do ac for mcjobs

>>12603092
youre applying to the wrong job

>>12603092
just be yourself :^)

Well, let me try to explain some basic things about life that many of you doesnt know how to put in words.

Social interviews such as: job interviews, relationship first meeting and social interations work in the same way. They use "acquired" social value in order to analyze if you are a social paria or a socially sucessfull individual, its the difference between being the lone wolf vs being a wolf that can get into another wolf packs.

As long you have social value: social circles, appear to have some inner circles and know how to act, have a good "image" and take care of your "looks" you will go through, such as every other social task related to humans,

There is not cope and fake until you make it, this was a lie spread by PUA, the problem is that the majority of individuals doesnt understand that the social mobility is really low and usually people pair with their social equivalents at the end.

>>12608823
>>12608844
Great advice!

>>12609253
FUCK off namefag no one cares for your bullshit sob story just post anonymous like the rest of us

>>12609570
I didnt posted for like 2 weeks, faggot,

Anyone had experience with interviews with recruitment agencies?

I've never really been myself when I'm trying to market someone, I'm marketing a certain image. A guy sitting in sweatpants and a nike shirt behind a pc all day isn't a great marketing image.

If I get on a personal level people enjoy me a lot more when I'm myself, that is a politically incorrect racist who has analysis's for a lot of things that interest me. Otherwise I'm kind of just a boring yes-man.

>>12607072
It's not the case when it comes to IT, maybe in SJWCalifornea. What usually happens is someone offers a cheaper contract to H1B migrant, lottery commences and the H1B gets hired by HR since some guy specializing in recruiting H1B migrants takes 15-25% of their salary for a while, the company has to pay less and people can't compete with it. It's not just IT that's suffering from it but it's one of the more notorious ones since it struggles more with hiring within the country than other job markets.

>>12608761
They do and what actually happens in practice is that poo's get hired because companies and recruiters / lawyers in their respective countries are trying to exploit them for cheap labor. With H1B visa you don't have the same rights as a US citizen and are very easily fucked over.

>>12605438
woah hardcore dude huhhh fuckin' sick bro crazy ass comment dewd woah huhhh btfo'd headshot dewd

>>12602440
javascript developer meme jobs dont even exist where I live, fuck you

>>12603092
500 job apps, maybe 5-10 interviews, all of them hire someone with "more experience", 0 job offers

they tell the recruiters they're going for someone with more experience, I haven't heard any negative feedback to my face

fuck this shit

>>12603196
50k is nothing in 2019, literally a McWage. I don't know how people making $9/hr haven't killed people yet

>>12603399
fuck man. are you still reading this thread? reply to me if you are. i'm 28 in the same boat, 6 months unemployed now. just fucking kill me

>>12609253
youre not the best person to take advice from anon

>>12608922
(You)

>>12603614
>>12602977
so basically you guys are just unskilled bullshitters that bullshit your way into people hiring you. glad to know these are the faggots running around /biz/ telling other anons they don't have any skills and they suck.

Bump

Bump I'm so sick of you faggots making new threads every minute that die with 2 replies

>bored after 4 months of NEET
>apply for a job that sounds cool and fits my qualifications
>go to interview dressed rather casually (shirt, jersey, trousers and boat shoes)
>"what's your biggest flaw"
>"I'm a moron"
>get hired
It's been 2 years and a half and It's all good. Probably going to change in the next months.

>>12609917
Yup and now I'm known as the hardest working person at the place. 50% pay raise over the last 2 years. Get butthurt, introvert.

>>12605123
>>12605184
>>12605305
>>12605399
This shit right here. I live Texas and they're fucking everywhere and do something like $500 million+ in damage to our agricultural industry. Like its so bad that you can hunt them year round day or night, using nightvision or thermal scopes, and/or from a fucking helicopter with automatic weapons, though you have to go through a guide service for the helicopter hunt. They usually provide you with an auto shotgun with slugs or an AR-10 if I remember correctly.

Best state ever.

>>12610558
you might be happy scamming people for now but eventually the smoke and mirrors will disappear and you'll be revealed for the fraud that you are

>>12609917
>so basically you guys are just unskilled bullshitters that bullshit your way into people hiring you.
Not them, but even with skill you also need social skills in a work environment. If you can't coordinate your work with others, you're good for nothing.

>>12610620
Lol shut up fag

>>12605123
>you're autistic for feeling empathy for an animal that was tricked into its death

Yea cool you can own ppl with facts and knowledge but what the fuck is wrong with feeling bad for it?

>>12602977
Idk like, 30 interviews 7 jobs. If a more qualified candidate comes along there's nothing you can do about it. I always get really good feedback about my interviews, so it's not me, just how it is. If you have 2 years xp and the other guy has 5 there's no talking your way into that one.

>>12610979
should have made up another 4 years of xp

Literally me.

Why should I pretend to be some wage slave bootlicker? My time is valuable so I try to interview them

Applied to a job recently and got an email last week from the campus recruiter (I graduated college last year and have been employed since then so not sure why a campus recruiter was emailing me) saying they liked my resume and wanted to speak with me sometime this week. The email came last Friday (1/25); I responded immediately and still haven't heard anything back.

What are the chances that they changed their mind about me?

>>12611204
the HR roastie probably thought you were too clingy

>>12611208

kek, just ask her out for coffee or something to go over the position in person.

>>12604754
>>12605418
>Getting pissy at a native animal killing an invasive species
Stop being poofs and grow a pair

>apply for a job, interview guy is clearly into hiring me but says he has a few interviews left, but he makes it clear I'll hear back from him either way things go
>end up not hearing back from him until 4 months later when he calls asking if I still want the job as the guy they hired didn't fit
that said I was also just being myself for the interview, and it was the only interview I wasn't hired after.
>tfw out-chadded

>>12609638
Fuck sake favelanon no one likes you. Posting your trip is asking for it. Just post anonymous like the rest of us.

>>12602188
I've never had an unsuccessful job interview. I literally get an offer every time. AMA!

>>12612140
I have a question. You know when you get an interview and you get all dressed smart and arrive early and then you go into the interview, well my question is should the brits have a second referendum on Brexit?

>>12612140
Do they make you swallow like a greedy little whore?

>>12602784
>cencor

>>12602247
RIP young greedy Pumbaa

>>12612183
>should the brits have a second referendum on Brexit
Fuck no, hard brexit pls. My country is still in the EU and I think faggot bureaucrats need a serious slap. Britain can live through it, even in London can't.
>>12612202
No, it's too boring for a movie. I go, I impress, I get an offer.

>Promote women slaving in a workplace like %95 of men do(except %5 actually having a comfort) as equality and empowerment.
>Develop a social system in which old people get more money than hardworking young people, which slows down economies and causes salaries to go down as well.
>Men do not fight anymore, so there is a higher competition and less job available.
>Industrialization and lately computers causing many jobs to become obsolete.
>Immigration allows some foreigner with a similar skill set to yours to be willing to work for half of your desired salary.
You can classify the things above as good or bad things as you like, but one thing for sure is that resulted in a really horrible conditions for entry-level people needing experience, lacking social circles and connections.

Another issue is long and pointless education years wasted leaving people without a clue. If you are 18 and feel in need of a job you can start working as a waiter, cashier, technician or something of that kind. And would have years of experience with different jobs, different environments. If you take education path and somehow miss your opportunity to find a job before graduating, having social circles to create different possibilities for you, you are fucked. You will be too old for any kind entry-level jobs, be lacking experience for jobs related with your field and each passing day and hole in your CV getting bigger means being less likely to ever get a job. Also, if you are depressed or have some serious health issues on top of those, you need a miracle to break that circle.

>>12612431
Sounds like incel C O P E especially the women and foreigners part. If all doctors were men, but now talented women can become doctors and supplant less talented men doctors but increase the quality of the profession why is that a bad thing? And so on in every profession.

>foreigners
Google - Brin/Page, Nvidia - Huang, Guidewire - Ryu, etc...

>>12602188

This is 100% true. I have landed all but 1 job I interviewed for, but then went back and got that job years later. I do not prepare at all. Interviews are to see if you can work together, not to see if you are good at the job. Be a friendly nice person and you will get the job. you're overthinking it.

If you know how to be a chameleon and read people, then you shouldn't have a problem.

>>12612472
I didn't say it is a bad thing. I just listed the reasons that made an application for a fucking entry-level job for a graduate complicated as if you are applying for being the director of an international company.

>>12612405
Ok I have another question. You know after the interview and you go home and wait to hear back and then you get an email that you didnt get the job, well my question is what would you suggest as a solution to the northern Irish border problem given the need for customs if Brexit does go ahead?

Please don't be so dumb to believe this, you have to have your script down to a tee when you go to an interview, the most automated you are the better, interviewers don't give a fuck about your personality they want to see that you're prepared.

do you notice in an interview that you really had no chance because they're just going to hire an internal candidate?

>>12612729
If job advertisement is too specific for unrelated things to job, it is a giveaway.

>>12609917
>so basically you guys are just unskilled bullshitters
I'm a chemist, so no

>>12602977
Four interviews with acceptances and one failed interview

>>12602977
>24
0 interviews and 1 job

>>12602188
Hey nerds, I was browsing this thread before I left for my interview this morning.

Nailed it. Just went in and beed myself. Thankfully for me, myself is a skilled experienced young man with great conversational and technical skills. And me and the lady were attracted to eachother and making eachother laugh. She said the job was mine, I start as soon as they're ready to put me on some projects.

Feels good to be a winner.

>>12614041
We taking Ws this year king, congrats.

>>12602188
>be electrician
>go to interview
>says show category
>I show category
>asks what I'm able to do under that category
>I tell him what I'm able to do
>asks how much I want to get
>Say first month average, next months depending on my skills and I expect a rise
>get hired, sign contracts, shake hands
>go to work next day
It's that simple, sometimes paper signing takes longer than actual interview since there is shitloads of paper work on electric devices and work related to them. Safety first.
Sometimes when subcontractors get into one job site, I get various offers to jump ship for better pay.
Man, feels good to be needed.

>>12602188
Besides getting paid why do you even want a job

>>12614079
Thanks dood

>>12614204
Game of life. Sometimes vidya just gets boring.

>>12602440
const js_dev = 'soiboy tranny';

I can see why you aren't on /g/