/biz/ - Business & Finance

Just be yourself bro and let the chicks come to you.

>>12523335
start taking BJJ classes. learning the moves will build your confidence. also force yourself to start working out.

>>12523600
This. I practiced MMA for around a year at an old fighting gym near school back when I was still in highschool. Even so much as learning how to defend yourself gives you more confidence in every day life in general. Plus OP, when it feels like shit's going to hit the fan, the best thing you can do is say "fuck it" and brace yourself openly. 9 times out of 10, it's worse in your head.

>>12523335
Talk to people more

>>12523600
I fail to see hw bj classes will help.

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>>12523335
for fast results, see a doctor that can prescribe drugs and tell them you need something for social anxiety. they'll help you out. long term, therapy will help too.

>>12523335
according to your user ID, you're "born with PP"

hope this helps

>>12523335
I had the same thing but had the courage to overcome it myself. I took challenging confrontational jobs like armed security in the ghetto. I stuttered for a bit and it was difficult but I came out of it a stronger man.


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>>12523335
Take androsterone and eat more eggs

>>12523335
Breathing meditation and excercise.
Go do yoga one on one once for a couple hours and they will hands on you into enough good habits to start.

Being able to focus and control breath during stress is an essential skill. Down with the diaphram, try to eight seconds in and out, as smoothly transitioning as possible. This will take years to eliminate grossness or granularity.

>>12523692
Love is like peeing yourself.

>>12523335
>Any jobs or school courses I can take that'll cure me?
No.
Lift weights for a few years.
>>12523600
Also this.

>>12523335
How old are you? I really used to be a pussy. I remember breaking down in tears for like an hour when a customer berated me at my 17 year old retail job and also shaking and crying whenever I heard my parents fighting.

I'm 28 now and I just grew out of it. If someone is mean to me I can just call them an asshole and tell them to fuck off now, whereas before I would have gotten upset. I can't remember any specific moment this happened, but I think it's just a change you experience as you become more comfortable with yourself and realize that 99% of things you experience each day are so insignificant it's not worth your getting upset.

>>12523335
>(physically shake during confrontation/vocal autism)

I do too and I am quite and accomplished fighter. Its adrenaline work with it not against it.

>>12523335
>>12523719
good advice. if it's fucking up your day to day life see a doctor and ask about beta-blockers

>>12523335
Toast masters

>>12523760
29 and can confirm. just get older op.

Are you actually going to respond to anything OP?

>>12523600
Already been doing calisthenics with supplementary weight lifting (bicep curls, squats, deadlifts, etc.)
>>12523659
I'd rather not have to resort to pharmaceuticals
>>12523692
Very helpful
>>12523760
I don't cry, I'm just not sure how to respond outside of silently and awkwardly standing around when someone feels like taking their shitty day out on me, or for really most social interactions. (19)
>>12523771
Will try
>>12523789
Wut
>>12523835
This ok?

>>12523894
Try to not fap much.
Sleep earlier and try talking to family and friends more often even on the phone.

>>12523335
Time fixes most things anon
Also trial by fire IS THE ONLY CURE.
No self help books, no mental gymnastics will help. You need fire.

also finding genuine happiness in your life, if you are happy, not much can get you down
>>12523894
>silently and awkwardly standing around
also embrace this. Accept that it's okay to say nothing other than if you actually want to.

Do you have low social standing?

>>12523972
Yeas, and this has been crippling to my self confidence.

>>12523982
So you’re actively aware of your low status? Is it obvious to others you have low social status? If you actively feel inferior to others while interacting with them you’ll never form a genuine relationship with them, even if you stop the voice shaking.

What sorts of things make 19 year low status? Not getting laid a lot? Not having a lot of friends? None of you have any money, so it’s not determined by that.

>>12523600
This. The knowledge that you can beat the shit out of 95% of people is somehow very empowering.

>>12523952
I'm prepping for my jump into the fire. I know I could probably bring myself into a state of being "happy" with the way my life is, but I just refuse to let my humiliating childhood be what crushes my idealism.
>also embrace this. Accept that it's okay to say nothing other than if you actually want to.
That's the problem, it's not that I'm just biting my tongue. It'll take me a good few minutes after interactions to come up with good responses which makes me feel like a dunce.

>>12524035
If you can afford it, I'd recommend travelling solo to some different, far away countries, for extended amounts of time (weeks, months). If you are anything like me, it will be a very stressful experience, but your normal life will seem much more tame afterwards.
Have a plan for what you will do when away so you aren't just idle. Learn a skill, document things, whatever.

OP are you me?

I even get anxiety when the class takes turns reading out loud from a book...just watching them get closer and closer until it’s my turn. Then when it is I can’t even read the paragraph without sweating / swallowing every 5 seconds

>>12524017
Yeah I've realized I'm a loser that everyone looks down on since I was around 14. I think lots of it stems from my Father being distant to me emotionally and also yelling at me for trivial things. I remember being very social, even with girls, when I was 4-7, but then I moved to a small town and things took a turn for the worse. It's weird, I don't feel inferior by comparing myself to other people, I just kinda feel inferior in general, like my full potential in regards to my talents/intellect/social skills has been squandered by an idle and isolated youth and my efforts to try and gain what I've been denied is pretty intellectually exhausting. I feel like I have no time or mental energy for relationships because no one will understand what it is I'm trying to accomplish. When I interact with others I usually display pretty closed body language (crossed arms, head bent down slightly, I don't want to feel imposing or like I'm asking much of strangers/acquaintances). I'm a khhv with next to no friends and the one I have constantly tries to bully me to make himself feel better about his insecurities (he's told me this) and tries to sabotage everything I do, I'm fairly financially well off for my age (50k saved w/100k inheritence).

>>12524035
man you basically just described social anxiety. as others have mentioned learn breathing techniques and maybe get on propranolol. it's not a psychiatric drug it just blocks adrenaline. the anxiety -> low confidence cycle can really feed into itself but i think a lot of people can relate to you and a lot of people can confirm it's manageable with some effort

>>12524161
stay strong fren

>>12524169
You as well fren. Your response honestly made me feel better. I’m trying to smoke weed to see if it will help me calm down.

>>12524187
Personally I'd try to rely on myself, but that hasn't worked yet so what do I know.

>>12524164
I know hope for me isn't completely lost yet, but I just feel such a strong sense of melancholy and desolation because of a less than ideal youth, and that I can't connect with anyone because nobody wants to spend time with a guy who just sits in his room and reads/writes/lifts all day.

>>12524187
High body load all the time or high anxiety with cannabis are symptoms of magnesium depletion.

>>12523335
Hire some hookers and anal rape them while you degrade them verbally. It helps.

>>12524259
I just started smoking weed but this has been going on for a while. I also experience the same physical shaking OP experiences but just in the head / neck area never anywhere else. Should I try taking some magnesium supplements?

>>12523335
That sounds like me. My neck/head starts vibrating if I get too much adrenaline in a work meeting. I exercise a lot and I'm normally fine socially but sometimes these panic attacks flare up. Propranolol (beta blockers) work like a dream if it's a planned event like a presentation. It literally blocks the physical effects of adrenaline and you just feel like a normal person. Not the best long-term solution but it can be a life saver sometimes.

>>12524404
Do I need a subscription? I have the same thing.

>>12524704
In the US you need a prescription, in some countries you dont. Any doctor will give it to you, unless you have asthma

>>12524164
>and the one I have constantly tries to bully me to make himself feel better about his insecurities (he's told me this) and tries to sabotage everything I do

Cut that guy out of your life, you will be constantly thinking about what he said or did, it will make your self worth go even lower

There is a way to deal with this without cutting him off, it's feeling pity for him, but you aren't in a mental state to do that yet, you need high self worth for that, one that trascends your belongings, you need to be able to lose life without caring to get infinite self worth in it, unironically read the bible

>>12524825
Only reason I haven't ghosted him is because we're also co-workers and he lives like a couple blocks down from where I do.

Try being yourself

>

>>12524825
Tried to help him out but he's 10x more autistic than me, except with tons of fake confidence to make up for it. Dude is literally the walking stereotype of how a Jew is supposed to act like e.g. he took pictures of himself on my motorcycle and used them to try and pick up girls (he had an r9k-tier gf at the time too).

>>12524987
Very inspiring, thanks anon.

>>12523894
Mindfulness meditation. It decreases cortisol and activates the pre-frontal cortex which plays a role in motivation and shaping your personality. See:www.ergo-log.com/meditationhormones.html
It also shrinks your amygdala, which is responsible for the fight or flight response (what makes you sperg out and get scared around people in general and avoid them). See:journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0064574
Also nofap.

>>12523335
first of all, spend a week doing everything you know you should be doing (grooming, being organized, working hard, completing tasks, being financially responsible, sleeping on time, eating well).

Ok then just go about your business, and when you come across someone you need to speak to, just say what you wanna say knowing that realistically the person only thinks about your words for like 10 seconds max if it's truly trivial

treat people like people man. you're only like this because you dont act in accordance with "there are other people who are very very similar to me".

you're not that fucking different but. get over yourself and just engage with the world, you are built to engage with the world.

it's almost like you need to be like "okay, for the sake of interaction, i'm gonna be an NPC for x hours while im at y function". Being an NPC is just meeting the max amount of people in the middle road and interacting with them.

Being an NPC for like 2 hours is fun, you meet people, feel good about being accepted, and then you can retreat into your true thoughts in the evening or something. That is the true way to be man.

No one knows what is going on, and when someone acts like they know whats going on, people follow that someone. Just be that someone despite knowing it's all just a big maybe

>>12523600
>>12523627
>>12523659
>>12523692
>>12523712
>>12523719
>>12523760
>>12523771
>>12523782
>>12523952
>>12524017
>>12524031
>>12524138
>>12524404
>>12524825
>>12524987
>>12525348
>>12525471
T-thanks for all the advice anons...

>>12525783
np fren, you're gonna make it if you put in the effort. You will be amazed at how your mindset can change over the years, especially at your age when your brain is still very neuroplastic.
Oh one last recommendation, read "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle

have the same thing op. look into what they call 'essential tremors.'
when i go to get a haircut and the razor comes near my ears it gets really bad. same with when i talk to people who i'm not comfortable around. stimulants like d-amp and caffeine certainly do not help the case either.
shit sucks and i definitely know how you feel.
my mom has the same thing except in her hands. probably genetic.