/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>11624447

Did you know that the majority of duck sex is rape?

Did you know that female ducks have evolved "fake" trap vaginas that are either devoid of eggs or corkscrew in a way opposite to the duck penis which causes the penis to get stuck or not gain entry?

Did you know male ducks have proportionally one of the biggest penises in the world?

Did you know that Chainlink is not a meme and will in fact be $1000 EOY?

>>11624447
>being a stinky linky
uh disgusting, i never took a shit at my workplace, i simply clamp my ass cheeks and wait for the evening once i can go home.
And even at home i act like you do but at work, i often wait 3/4am to take a silent shit. I'm a lucky guy tho, with the time i learned to retain my shit longer and longer. Also i decided to skip breakfast and take very light meal (no desert, no entree) to generate less shit. Now i take a shit in average once a week. My personal best is 9 days without shitting. Tho i must be careful because they are enormous and super compressed so it's often a 3 step poop action. First i shit but try to not shit it all (1), then i flush. After i finish to take my shit(2), flush again, and finally wipe my ass (3) and do the final flush. If i do 1 & 2 or 2 & 3 at the same time, its the toilet clog guaranteed 100%.
I don't think poop-normies can even encompass the size of 1 weeks' deuce. Usually it's the lenght of my arm.
Also no homo but retaining compressed shit like this transform them in giant pooldo (dildo in poop) and it end up pressing the prostate after the 5th day, and it's legit better than hetero-sex. I never had anything up my ass but i can understand why the faggots would like it. Also i never admitted it to my gfs, i wonder if they would become jealous of my shits so i don't take the risk.

You will maybe think i'm a weirdo but i'm not. Just try to hold back your shit, you not only save water, get pleasure but you also save a shitload of TIME. Let say taking a shit is 5mn loss everytime, and that you shit everyday : 5x7 : 35mn weekly vs 5mn for me.
30mn per week, 2 hours per month, 1 day per year, you save a full month of your life after 30 years! It's enormous!
Please tell me i'm not the only one doing dis frens.

>>11624506
evenually going to need to wear a diaper

>>11624492

thank you anon, however I did know these facts.

this is because I partake in a little fishing now and again to relax and realign my Chi. sometimes I see ducks going about their seedy ways.

on a slight tangent, I was fishing the other afternoon and managed to land the most beautiful, majestic carp. It's pattern and colour was something never seen before.

as it ascended through the glistening surface tension of the water, there would be no way to describe it other than; two tone blues and whites with a distinct chequered pattern, even more bizarre it whispered to me "chainlink $1000 eoy my lord".

at that point, I knew, I was destined to be a free man.