/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>58359401
alright, i made an interactive brokers account.
now what?

>>58137801
You know what to do anon. Join your frens.

imagine bros that have been watching these apu threads all week and havent aped yet. its not too late for you bros, trust me this is a comfy hold. we are literally begging you to be rich.

Looking to fill up some AI related bags. I have narrowed my search down to two projects that I feel are the most advanced and reputable. Do you suggest Fetch.AI or Singularitynet? Or both? Thanks frens.

Fetch.AI is going to be the most secure bet on AI for the next couple years. You have been told this now. That is all.

>>56596209
Hoichi is interesting. Weird connection stories to shib and such. Maybe the next 1000x+?

New to investing but had this idea to just lay back and copy some jew on etoro because financial talent is something jews are born with. Maybe a jew is not dumb enough to use etoro but is there another online broker where I can copy people?

looking for discord/telegram groups about sniping tokens

Alright /biz/, enough with the shitcoins, ITT we discuss starting our own companies and getting funded

So have any anons successfully created company and managed to get it funded? Any tips for building out a small business? Maybe we can make an entrepreneurship general

>>55789121
im thinking of doubling my bags mate

>20yo
>250k nw

I'm 24 and I've worked and saved up quite a bit of money but I feel like going back to college may be a big waste of time at this point despite the pressure from my family.

I have enough to invest in a business (30k), and I feel like that may be the stepping stone I need toward success, but I'm not sure what to do and I've never started a business before. What would /biz/ do if you were in my shoes?

>>55238602
>>55238653
It doesn't take a 160IQ to see this one is going to go parabolic very soon. I am thinking 100 Million - 500 Million MC this month.

>>55043296
octavia(dot)one its not even out for another month but im keeping my eye on it heavily

is Octavia really going to have nintendo partnership? if so I may ape, just don't scam me like the last 20 shills did

does anyone have actual alpha in this shithole anymore?
I'm looking for tokens with utility that have recently launched or are launching soon, no doge/pepe clones pls

Vanguard gang, ooh
Low fees, yuh
Vanguard gang, ooh
Yuh, brr

Vanguard gang, Vanguard gang, Vanguard gang, Vanguard gang (Vanguard gang)
Vanguard gang, Vanguard gang, Vanguard gang (Vanguard gang)
Spend a few racks on ETFs (Yuh)
My portfolio worth a million gain, ooh (Ooh)
I bought the stocks, I forgot their name (Brr, yuh)
I can't buy a bitch no wedding ring (Ooh)
Rather go and buy index funds (Brr)
Vanguard gang, Vanguard gang, Vanguard gang (Vanguard gang)
Vanguard gang, Vanguard gang, Vanguard gang, Vanguard gang (Vanguard gang)
Vanguard gang, Vanguard gang, Vanguard gang (Vanguard gang)
Spend a few racks on ETFs (Huh?)
My portfolio worth a million gain, ooh (Brr)
I bought the stocks, I forgot their name, yuh (Yuh, yuh)
I can't buy no bitch no wedding ring, ooh (Nope)
Rather go and buy index funds, ayy (Brr)
Vanguard gang, Vanguard gang, Vanguard gang (Vanguard gang)

My net worth more than your whole team, ooh (It do)
Your momma still dreamin' the dream, yuh (Brr)
Still stackin' cash for a dream, huh? (Yeah)
Me and my investors make gains, ooh (Huh?)
None of this shit be new to me (Nope)
Investing smart, call it strategy (Yuh)
Bought some new funds, cost hella G's (Huh?)
Fuck your hedge funds, fuck your fees (Fuck it!)
Bitch, your portfolio's in the red (In the red)
I'd rather invest in index instead (Yuh)
They call me passive, but I'm a threat (Brr)
Now Vanguard owns the market, yuh (Yuh)
Everybody scream, "We're the best" (The best)
Vanguard still making more, yuh (Yuh)
Trillions in assets, sippin' on Moet (Brr)
Make the right moves, watch your wealth grow (What?)

Vanguard gang, Vanguard gang, Vanguard gang, Vanguard gang (Vanguard gang)
Vanguard gang, Vanguard gang, Vanguard gang (Vanguard gang)
Spend three racks on some ETFs (Huh?)
My portfolio worth a million gain, ooh (Yuh)
I bought the stocks, I forgot their name (Brr)
I can't buy a bitch no wedding ring (Huh?)
Rather go and buy index funds (Yuh)
Vanguard gang, Vanguard gang, Vanguard gang

Just invented a new religion centering about worshiping money. Rate this opening bell prayer:
"Dear Almighty Purchasing Power, we humbly beseech your guidance and discernment as we delve into the intricacies of the stock market and make calculated investments. Grant us the mental acuity to recognize potential opportunities for profit and the fortitude to remain steadfast in our positions. We ask that you endow us with the foresight to manage our risks carefully, and to utilize our wealth to further your cause. May our investments be blessed with prosperity, and may the corporations in which we invest be favored by your hand. Let us never forget that our financial gains stem from your munificent gifts, and may we employ them to promote your kingdom on earth. Amen."

n an age of boundless opportunity, the money god created a great nation known as the United States of America. This land, teeming with promise, allowed even the most modest citizens to dream of wealth and prosperity. Within its borders, the fertile grounds of capitalism took root, and its people flourished.

From the throngs of hopefuls, the great prophets of profit emerged: JP Morgan, Carnegie, Rockefeller, and Vanderbilt. These titans of industry and finance conquered their respective realms, amassing wealth and power beyond imagination. Their gospel resonated far and wide, inspiring awe and admiration among the masses.

To guide their followers, the prophets of profit unveiled the Ten Capitalist Commandments:
I. Thou shalt worship no other currency but the Almighty Dollar.
II. Thou shalt invest wisely and seek constant growth.
III. Thou shalt not share thy wealth unnecessarily.
IV. Honor thy credit score and keep it immaculate.
V. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's fortune, but strive to surpass it.
VI. Thou shalt prioritize profit over people.
VII. Thou shalt idolize material possessions.
VIII. Thou shalt exploit resources to maximize revenue.
IX. Thou shalt minimize taxes by any means necessary.

Goldman gang Goldman gang Goldman gang
Spent a few racks on some bonds
Dumb bitch buys all shitcoin
I bought some stock I forgot their names
I can't buy no bitch no treasuries
Rather go buy some ETF
Goldman gang Goldman gang Goldman gang

>over 1k tax return
I already have 6 months of emergency funds and all my bills are accounted for in my monthly budget. This is just some free money for me. Should I just be throwing my tax returns in an ETF and not look at it for a decade? I already max my contributionss to my roth.

How do I get one of those jobs where I sit there and do nothing all day and make 6 figures?

>>52306574
Because line go down, thank you for your question

>>52306625
We at /biz/ corp have had our analysts working on lolocaust timeframe models for some time now and we can accurately predict it will occur in exactly 2 more weeks

>>52306639
It is sort of like a game of pass the parcel, except the person who opens the last box loses their life savings. We at /biz/ corp would like to reassure you most of us did not open the last box, so there is a silver lining

how can i get my dick wet with 100 bucks?