/biz/ - Business & Finance

You gains. Give them to me.

Hi, I'm from the IRS. Give me your gains. Yes, your crypto gains :)

What do you mean, the US government has done absolutely nothing to deserve a share of your gains? You were born and raised in this fine country. You grew up using government services, government roads, government schools, and likely many different entitlements. So it's time you pay us back. With your crypto gains :)

It may be true that the US government has zero control and regulation over the market conditions which allowed you to make so much money, and provided zero value to you, the investor. It may also be true that we did nothing to minimize your risk or protect you legally from criminal activity. I mean, it's also true that you didn't utilize any of the infrastructure that we built, except possibly electricity from power plants. This doesn't matter though. The law is the law, and the law says your crypto gains are ours :) because we say so :)

Also, because we will send people to your house. These people have guns, and will shoot you if you don't go with them :)

So hand over those crypto gains, like a good citizen. :)

You don't want to meet our people with guns, do you? :) You don't want to go to jail because you made money in a clever way in an unregulated, international market, do you? :)

That's a good citizen. Your crypto gains will go towards valuable services like welfare for "minorities", illegal immigrant rent assistance, planned parenthood, foreign wars for Israel, breast implants and vaginaplasty for transgender soldiers, and settlements for all of the rapists and molesters in congress. Sure the roads might be crumbling, the colleges might be full of communists, and the cities full of drug peddling, violent immigrants, but we need your crypto gains for more important things. So what if it's unconstitutional? We need your gains. :)

Hand them over. :)

Now. :)