/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>49516470
Post-MOASS, I am going to buy that cow and the villagers. The villagers shall be slaves to the cow and tend to its every whim. I shall charter a ship to bring the cow across the ocean. The cow shall have luxury accommodations and a private pool. The cow's slaves shall all sleep in one of the heads nearest the engine room. Every day they will bring the cow the freshest grass and hand feed it to the cow. Once the cow has finished chewing the grass and savored its sweet flavor and regurgitated it from one of its stomachs, the slaves shall then take the cud and finish chewing it for the cow, feeding the fully chewed cud directly back into the cow's mouth. They will then massage the cow's udder in the finest oils and sing it songs to aid the digestion. Once we arrive, the cow will be taken from the port at Long Beach and transported by the slaves on a gold and silk palanquin to Nebraska, where the cow shall graze in America's bountiful fields of grain. Then the slaves will take the cow to the local meat packing plant, where the most emotionally fragile slave will be given the stun gun and instructed to deliver the killing blow. They shall then assist in the butchering of their beloved cow and deliver the meat to me personally. I shall then grind it, form it into patties and grill it, topping it at the end with American Processed Cheese Food. I shall then feed each of the cow's slaves their own sacred cheeseburger (by force and under pain of death).