/biz/ - Business & Finance

3 years? Champ, your parents might not be around that much longer, it's time for you to learn how to fend for yourself. Now, put on your winners smile and go up to the counter and give the manager a firm handshake while asking for the job.

Champ, listen, your mother and I have been talking and we think it's time you put yourself out there into the workforce. Everyone has to pull their own weight around here and if you're going to continue living under our roof then we feel you should be contributing. Plus, a job builds character and toughness and teaches the value of a hard, honest day's work.

Now I know you're disappointed your internet coins didn't work out. But you have to understand, those cryptsy coins or whatever have no real value - nothing is backing them! At least now you can earn cold hard cash, backed by the full faith of the United States government. When I was your age I had to pay my own way through college. I saved up and bought my own car, my own apartment and then I met your mother and we moved out to the suburbs.

Now, this is all you have to do. Go up to the counter, ask for the manager, look him straight in the eye and give him a firm handshake and say "Sir, I would like to work here. I am ready to do whatever it takes to get the job done, and done well." It's that easy. Afterward, I'll treat you to lunch, maybe get you some of those tendies you're always raving on about.

How's that sound, champ? Go get 'em!