/biz/ - Business & Finance

>there exists a combination of keys that instantly earns me $5,550,000

Who's gonna pay the link required to make the oracle call?

would you invest in a project whose top guy looks like this?

UH, hello, my name is Sergey Nazarov.

I'm a 27 year old American BigMacer (fast food fan for you thin folks). I eat BigMacs and yell at Rory on my toilet, and spend my days perfecting my shits and market selling to superior tokens. (RLC, XRP)

I train with Takeru Kobayashi every day, this superior eater can eat clean through BigMacs because his stomach has expanded over a thousand times, and is vastly superior to any other stomach on earth. I earned my bachelors in competitive eating two years ago, and I have been eating 100 BigMacs every day.

I shit fluidly every day, both liquid and solid feces, and I fart fluidly as well. I know everything about McDonald's history and their secret sauce recipe, which I consume 100% of my meals with.

When I get my McDonald's uniform, I am infiltrating to the headquarters to become a grillmaster to learn more about their magnificent BigMacs. I hope I can become a CEO for McDonald's or competitive BigMac eater!

I own several McDonald's stores, which I eat at around town. I want to get used to buying them before I market sell all my LINK, so I can scam /biz/ easier. I bow to my Ronald McDonald statue and eat BigMacs as often as I can, but rarely does any store manage to make enough to feed me.

Wish me luck in my scam!

>>22132886
Sergey is building his power

>>21953357
yes

>>21933083
recent picture

Anyone have that screenshot from the BAND devs asking what the fuck VRF's are in the github?

Also, best chainlink memes. BAND fags and Trannies not welcome.

Here we go, right on schedule. $19 Inc

May I have your attention please?
Will the price of chainlink please go up?
I repeat, will the price of chainlink please go up?
We're going to have a wojack here

Y'all act like you never seen a deluded linkie before
Sats all on the floor like AMPL and Ripple just burst in the door
Started dumpin' on their ass worse than before they first got divorced
Laughing at your expenditure

It's the return of the "Oh wait, no way, you're kidding
He didn't just gain what I think he did, did he?"

And Sergey said
Nothing you idiots Sergey's dead, he's locked in my basement (ha ha)

People on /biz/ hate linkies, chicka chicka chicka Stinky Linky I'm sick of them
Look at them, walking around postin their wojack threads
Shilling for invester cred "yeah, but they're so deluded though"

Yea I probably missed a couple of gains I could have used
But no worse than what's going on with other coin's that never cruised

Sometimes I want to get on /biz/ and just let loose, but can't,
But it's cool for Sergey to hold back any good news!

My gains are gonna hit, my gains are gonna hit
And if you're lucky you might just get in before it dips
And that's the message that we deliver to kids on /biz/
And expect them not to know how hopeless chainlink is

Of course they gonna know what a shitcoin is, by the time they hit 4chan,
They got past the normie phase didnt't they?
Deluded linkies took a gamble
The FOMO made them scramble now their folio is all red candles

But if we keep selling them bags with no handles
Then there's no reason why a pump wont get us a lambo
But if you feel like I feel follow my example.
Damsels wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes

I'm Slim Sergey, yes I'm the real Sergey
All you other Slim Sergey are passively lurking
So won't the price of Chainlink please go up,
Please go up,
Please go up

>>21189045
It makes me pants all smelly

$9.5 stable coin

Where did the meme of fat sergey originate? I feel like it was from a pic of him in Sri Lanka looking kinda fat

My gf is shaming me for being on /biz/ all day, what do i do

OG

>>20738160
Yeah, me neither. Sergey has ruined my family. Last summer, I approached the miserable fat fuck in the street, and asked him for his autograph, because my son is a huge fan. The fucking guy gave me the autograph and told me to burn in hell. Later, when I gave my son the autograph he started crying and said he hated me. Turns out the motherfucker didnt write his autograph, no, he wrote “you’re a piece of shit, and i fucked your mom". I’m now divorced, and planning a huge class-action lawsuit against the extra large devil that ruined my life. Your time is almost over, Sergey. All the people you’ve wronged will rise against you.

why is link's price so high now? did sergey finally make working dcentralized oracle solution?

>>20009654
>>20010195
*teleports behind you both simultaneously*
>based

>>19790481
The best FUD is actually fat Sergey because it's true and he will die of heart attack before he can finish the project.

>>19432685
Even before he let himself get obese and balloon up to over 350 lb., his eating habits were legendary. The SmartContracts.com CTO Steve Ellis claimed Nazarov's diet circa 2015 consisted "mainly of junk food, usually take-out Chinese or peanut butter, which he consumed by the jarful". By 2016, he was renowned for eating boxes of Mallomars and cinnamon buns, washing them down with a quart of milk. Close friend Tom Gonser wrote that in the late 2000s and early 2010s, Sergey went on crash diets before his projects commenced development, but when he lost his willpower he would eat huge breakfasts consisting of corn flakes, sausages, eggs, bananas and cream, and a huge stack of pancakes drenched in syrup. rory claimed that, during the testnet of chainlink (2017), Sergey would have "two steaks, potatoes, two apple pies a la mode and a quart of milk" for dinner, necessitating constant altering of his Lucky shirt. During a birthday party for Sergey --the SWIFT director -- gave him a belt with a card reading, "Hope it fits." A sign was placed below the birthday cake saying, "Don't feed the Sergey." He reportedly ate at least four pieces of cake that day.

>>18745637
mine too

Guys, this is fucked up, but hear me out.
I just spoke with the new marketing director of Chainlink and he had some pretty interesting things to tell.

We all know that Sergey has gotten kind of big lately, but the last months it has sprialed out of control. He is now so morbidly obese that he cannot support his own weight. Apparently he used a large chunk of the ICO money to install a huge aquarium in his house. He, and I kid you not, spends 22 houres a day in it to release the strain on his knees and back. According to the MD of Chainlink, he has switched to eating fish food. He says it has the optimal balance of minerals an positive vibrations. But the most fucked up thing is that he is supposedly mating with a clown fish. I don't know if the fish consent or not, but with Sergeys current size I don't think he have a say in the matter. Also, once a day he is hoisted out of the tank and onto a couch so that he can watch his favorite TV show Dr. Phil.

I don't know what to think anymore /biz/. I'm not a professional investor, but I don't think link is a good investment if all of this is true?

>>18713855
you're fucking right newfag

Let me tell you a story.
I was visiting San Francisco to see one of my friends. We went to a strip club, and while I was there, I saw Sergey, surrounded by women. He was throwing tons of money at them, but not just bills. It was stacks upon stacks of $10,000, sealed up with the white paper bands, like he had just come straight from a bank.
I went up to him and congratulated him on the success of Chainlink as of late (this was about a month ago), and he started laughing. He took a hefty swig from a bottle of Dom Perignon, and said, "Yeah? You think I care, stinky?"
Confused, I asked what he meant, and said that he had obviously put a lot of work into LINK and he should be proud.
"I don't give two fucks about Chainlink, kid."
He was about to say something else but one of the strippers tapped him on the shoulder. Sergey pulled out from his pocket the biggest ziplock bag full of cocaine I've ever seen in my life. It looked like one of those gallon bags, almost bulging at the seams. The stripper ran off into a back room with it.
He then pulled out a Zippo lighter.
"You wanna know what I think about Chainlink?"
He picked up his bottle of champagne on the floor, pulled about 20 stacks of bills from a duffel bag, threw them on the floor, poured champagne all over them, flicked his Zippo, and dropped it onto the pile. Almost instantly the whole stack caught.
I stared at him, speechless.
"It's called a 'PUMP and DUMP,' kid."
He laughed as he watched the pile burn before losing interest and going into a back room with his entourage of strippers following carrying duffel bags full of what I assume was money and coke.
This is the man you are supporting by buying LINK.

This is the meme that started it all