/biz/ - Business & Finance

Consensys 2019. A crowd gathers around an empty stage, growing more anxious by the minute. The chatter of the audience is abruptly drowned out with the abrasive whine of heavy machinery. The room fades to darkness while a massive tank of water affixed to multiple 18 inch diameter steel cables is lowered into center stage. The stage floor creaks and buckles as the immense payload lands, splashing water over the edges. A gargantuan, bulbous dark silhouette can be seen writhing about within the tank. Suddenly it is illuminated by the gentle glow of LEDs around the tank perimeter, revealing a grotesque recombinant sea creature with flippers, fins, and the head of a man. Myriad imperfections in the skin bulge, each casting a dancing shadow into the bouncing waves of refracting light. Marbling lumpy fat pockets and rippling rolls in the beasts flesh stretch and contract with the momentum of the sloshing water. Slowly, the abominable creature raises his head to peer out at the crowd. The monster is part whale, part manatee, and all Sergey. Several staff members appear from behind the tank, each tossing several big macs into the water. Sergey's eyes bulge almost completely out of their sockets as he gapes his mouth open like an anaconda, inhaling each burger whole as it sinks toward him, producing sickening, deep, wet sounding esophageal noises. His chest and belly violently contract as each swallow tympanically shakes the floor like beating war drums, spilling more fluid about the tank. Finally, the last burger is consumed, and after a minute or so of Sergey settling his belly and reattaching his lower jaw to his skull, he is ready to speak...

Can't believe some of you will be holding hoping for $400 LOLLLLLLLL


All I ask for is $40. Once it hits that I immediately cash out unlike you deluded fucks

>>11747128
Pathetic. Only 616 lines of code? I could write that in an hour.

STINKIES DUMPING TO ZERO

WEB3 conference comenses and it's Sergey's time to come on stage. "And now we welcome Sergey Nazarov to talk about smart contracts beyond tokenization". A minute comes by and nothing happens. Eventually 10 men start slowing walking from the backstage holding an extremely bulky water tank, one would think be reserved for a large water animal. They place it on the ground and after few seconds the lights in the water tank turn on and a 2000 kg Sergey Nazarov appears levitating in the water tank. He is so large it seems that the surrounding fish have created a symbiotic ecosystem around his body and he cannot leave without dying. Rory quickly runs on stage and throws a big mac into the water tank while Sergey instantly grabs it and eat it, still soaked in water and fish shit. Few seconds pass and Sergey speaks couple words with an extremely deep and tired voice: "Hyperledger use chainlink, Microsoft use chainlink, Facebook use chainlink, ethereum use chainlink, mainnet now". Everyone in the room starts clapping, cheering and throwing shit at each other and chainlink immidiately skyrockets to $1,000,000 and achieves price singularity. 4chan goes on to make 500 additional chainlink threads per day, mostly filled with pictures of the first chainlink city on Mars and private islands of LINK owners.

dump more reee

Dreamforce conference comences and it's Sergey's time to come on stage. "And now we welcome Sergey Nazarov to talk about smart contracts beyond tokenization". A minute comes by and nothing happens. Eventually 10 men start slowing walking from the backstage holding an extremely bulky water tank, one would think be reserved for a large water animal. They place it on the ground and after few seconds the lights in the water tank turn on and a 2000 kg Sergey Nazarov appears levitating in the water tank. He is so large it seems that the surrounding fish have created a symbiotic ecosystem around his body and he cannot leave without dying.
Rory quickly runs on stage and throws a big mac into the water tank while Sergey instantly grabs it and eat it, still soaked in water and fish shit. Few seconds pass and Sergey speaks couple words with an extremely deep and tired voice: "Hyperledger use chainlink, Microsoft use chainlink, Facebook use chainlink, ethereum use chainlink, mainnet now". Everyone in the room starts clapping, cheering and throwing shit at each other and chainlink immidiately skyrockets to $1,000,000 and achieves price singularity. 4chan goes on to make 50 additional chainlink threads per day, mostly filled with pictures of the first chainlink city on Mars and private islands of LINK owners.

Dreamforce conference comences and it's Sergey's time to come on stage. "And now we welcome Sergey Nazarov to talk about smart contracts beyond tokenization". A minute comes by and nothing happens. Eventually 10 men start slowing walking from the backstage holding an extremely bulky water tank, one would think be reserved for a large water animal. They place it on the ground and after few seconds the lights in the water tank turn on and a 2000 kg Sergey Nazarov appears levitating in the water tank. He is so large it seems that the surrounding fish have created a symbiotic ecosystem around his body and he cannot leave without dying.
Rory quickly runs on stage and throws a big mac into the water tank while Sergey instantly grabs it and eat it, still soaked in water and fish shit. Few seconds pass and Sergey speaks couple words with an extremely deep and tired voice: "Hyperledger use chainlink, Microsoft use chainlink, Facebook use chainlink, ethereum use chainlink, mainnet now". Everyone in the room starts clapping, cheering and throwing shit at each other and chainlink immidiately skyrockets to $1,000,000 and achieves price singularity. 4chan goes on to make 50 additional chainlink threads per day, mostly filled with pictures of the first chainlink city on Mars and private islands of LINK owners.

Dreamforce conference comences and it's Sergey's time to come on stage. "And now we welcome Sergey Nazarov to talk about smart contracts beyond tokenization". A minute comes by and nothing happens. Eventually 10 men start slowing walking from the backstage holding an extremely bulky water tank, one would think be reserved for a large water animal. They place it on the ground and after few seconds the lights in the water tank turn on and a 2000 kg Sergey Nazarov appears levitating in the water tank. He is so large it seems that the surrounding fish have created a symbiotic ecosystem around his body and he cannot leave without dying.
Rory quickly runs on stage and throws a big mac into the water tank while Sergey instantly grabs it and eat it, still soaked in water and fish shit. Few seconds pass and Sergey speaks couple words with an extremely deep and tired voice: "Hyperledger use chainlink, Microsoft use chainlink, Facebook use chainlink, ethereum use chainlink, mainnet now". Everyone in the room starts clapping, cheering and throwing shit at each other and chainlink immidiately skyrockets to $1,000,000 and achieves price singularity. 4chan goes on to make 50 additional chainlink threads per day, mostly filled with pictures of the first chainlink city on Mars and private islands of LINK owners.

>genius programmer and financial maestro Sergey Nazarov

>>10921658
We're up significantly against bitcoin the past few days. Don't miss out. When Bitcoin goes bull this token is going to $50+, easy. I've a feeling there's not much time.

A few weeks back, we partnered with @AccordHQ, a project that is building smart legal contracts. Excited to re-share the official announcement here.

Hire me Sergey

This is unironically bullish. I think we might be back lads.

Only four more months left, stinkies.

Will you finally admit that it was all just a meme?

I just spoke with the new marketing director of Chainlink and she had some pretty interesting things to tell.

We all know that Sergey has gotten kind of big lately, but the last months it has sprialed out of control. He is now so morbidly obese that he cannot support his own weight anymore. Reportedly he used a large chunk of the ICO money to install a huge aquarium in his house. He, and I kid you not, spends 22 hours a day in it to release the strain on his knees and back. According to the MD of Chainlink, he has switched to eating fish food. He says it has the optimal balance of minerals an positive vibrations. But the most fucked up thing is that he is supposedly mating with a clown fish. I don't know if the fish consent or not, but with Sergeys current size I don't think he have a say in the matter. Once a day he is hoisted out of the tank and onto a couch so that he can watch his favorite TV show Dr. Phil.

I don't know what to think anymore /biz/. I'm not a professional investor, but I don't think link is a good investment if all of this is true?

I just spoke with the new marketing director of Chainlink and she had some pretty interesting things to tell.

We all know that Sergey has gotten kind of big lately, but the last months it has sprialed out of control. He is now so morbidly obese that he cannot support his own weight anymore. Reportedly he used a large chunk of the ICO money to install a huge aquarium in his house. He, and I kid you not, spends 22 hours a day in it to release the strain on his knees and back. According to the MD of Chainlink, he has switched to eating fish food. He says it has the optimal balance of minerals an positive vibrations. But the most fucked up thing is that he is supposedly mating with a clown fish. I don't know if the fish consent or not, but with Sergeys current size I don't think he have a say in the matter. Once a day he is hoisted out of the tank and onto a couch so that he can watch his favorite TV show Dr. Phil.

I don't know what to think anymore /biz/. I'm not a professional investor, but I don't think link is a good investment if all of this is true?

Salesforce conference comenses and it's Sergey's time to come on stage. "And now we welcome Sergey Nazarov to talk about smart contracts beyond tokenization". A minute comes by and nothing happens. Eventually 10 men start slowing walking from the backstage holding an extremely bulky water tank, one would think be reserved for a large water animal. They place it on the ground and after few seconds the lights in the water tank turn on and a 2000 kg Sergey Nazarov appears levitating in the water tank. He is so large it seems that the surrounding fish have created a symbiotic ecosystem around his body and he cannot leave without dying.
Rory quickly runs on stage and throws a big mac into the water tank while Sergey instantly grabs it and eat it, still soaked in water and fish shit. Few seconds pass and Sergey speaks couple words with an extremely deep and tired voice: "Hyperledger use chainlink, Microsoft use chainlink, Facebook use chainlink, ethereum use chainlink, mainnet now". Everyone in the room starts clapping, cheering and throwing shit at each other and chainlink immidiately skyrockets to $1,000,000 and achieves price singularity. 4chan goes on to make 50 additional chainlink threads per day, mostly filled with pictures of the first chainlink city on Mars and private islands of LINK owners.

>>9459267

Why didn't you listen?

>>9219423

When is the reputation system being deployed?

>>9096077
>>9096115
>>9096520
>>9096659
>>9096874
did you guys hear at the end of this video

https://www.watchfintechtv.com/video/blockchain-business-disruptor-or-opportunity


he literally drops the name. SmartContract.com is the company. Chain Link is the network. He says "persist the truth to any ledger underneath, whether its running CoCo, or not running CoCo it could work on ethereum, or fabric, or CHAIN, or, uhm, all the important blockchains underneath."

probably not too happy about the fat ones