/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>24318522
>Give children pizza for lunch because "it's a vegetable"
>Replace good ol whole milk with low-fat milk, which has added sugar in it to counteract the fact that fatless milk tastes like shit
>Have vending machies with pop tarts and dunkaroos in the lunch room
>Psyed class is just recess 2.0 where instructors just say to run around or something while they probably molest children in the locker room
>Force women into the workforce making them too fucking tired to bother making homecooked meals and packing lunches for their children, so looks like it's KFC for dinner again!
>"Why are our children's obesity rates going up???"

Fake thread.
FAKE THREAD.
Fake thread.
FAKE THREAD.

Anyone who posts in this thread is doomed to give OP head.
ANYONE WHO POSTS IN THIS THREAD IS DOOMED TO GIVE OP HEAD.

Fake Thread.
FAKE THREAD.
Fake thread.
FAKE THREAD.

Anyone who posts in this thread may as well sleep in OP's bed.
ANYONE WHO POSTS IN THIS THREAD MAY AS WELL SLEEP IN OP'S BED.

All posts after this one has the above applied to them.

>>23395718
Lots of people in upper management don't have such degrees.

>>23373517
>Breaking news! Nancy Pelosi says that she and McConnell have "maybe sorta I dunno" come to an agreement on the stimulus package!
>"The next 24 hours will be crucial in knowing whether or not the next 24 hours will tell us whether or not the next 48 hours will potentially open the door for a stimulus sometime within the period of 1 week to 3 months."
>McConnell says "Pelosi is full of pork and I would pork her any day, but we aren't doing this deal as long as she says she feeds starving children in Africa and represents them. There will be no deal. But actually, don't give up hope on a deal, because we may talk about it again tomorrow."
>In other news: new tape of president Donald Trump saying "Russia has the best women. Women that would blow your mind like you wouldn't believe. I love Russia." Is this the end for his campaign!?!? Exclusive interview with whitehouse insider Michael Judestein tells the story!

>>23220187
>Selling TQQQ ever

>He didn't sell half his stack around $3.50 while Eth was pumping, undoubtedly from all the cashing out and additional ETH being purchased in order to handle gas prices
>He didn't re-buy later at $3.20 and skim the profit off the top

392 UNI and 2 ETH reporting in. Had to sacrifice a small amount for the transaction in the end because I miscalculated some fees but it's all good. Now I get to have my cake and eat it too. Whatever happens to UNI, whether it's up or down, I fucking win. I got out with 2 ETH completely free AND got to keep 400 UNI. If you were looking at the charts, ETH was actually in a pretty interesting position and had such a huge influx of trading volume while UNI was crabbing along the $3.40 average for hours yesterday. During that time ETH was getting all of those yummy UNI sells, so parking some of your free UNI into ETH and then back would immediately generate profit.

tl;dr - I sold AND kept at the same time. I gamed the fucking system. I don't care if UNI moons or not, I've hedged against any possibility and have 0 downside. I'm so fucking euphoric right now. But I guess this is how people with multiple wallets feel too since they could have done what I did essentially just from selling 1 wallet and keeping the rest in UNI.

What the fuck is the point of a bank account anymore? Just direct deposit your check into TQQQ and withdraw what you need for bills after letting it grow for a week or so. Let's start a bank run.

>>18909732
How the fuck is this "your assignment?"
What's your role in the company? You have to properly document a lot of clues before doing this kind of shit. Finding a random needle in the bathroom isn't enough evidence to do anything, you're going to have to link it to an actual fucking person and then have other PROPERLY DOCUMENTED signs of drug abuse. Then you're going to have to confront them with a witness and ask for their story. In most cases, you either drug test them when coming in, or you wait for them to fuck up and destroy $1000+ worth of equipment and pay to have them drug tested.

This isn't your job, no matter what your boss tells you. What he's asking you to do is illegal. HR is a shitty talent-less piece of shit role, but this is precisely why they fucking exist. Dumbfuck business owners like your boss get sued down to the ground because they don't have HR-Stacy to tell them "doing this will get you sued" at every stupid idea they have.

Luckily for you, this is something that you can (and should) take weeks to investigate before pulling the trigger. You don't have to catch them day of, it still counts as "current" use even if you find the smoking gun a month later. But you NEED DOCUMENTATION and A LOT of it. Not just "oh, we found this needle in the bathroom and Carl sometimes seems a little tweaked up so we're firing him."

Also do you even fucking know what's in the needle? First and foremost, get your boss to shell out for a fucking drug test and figure out what was in there. You're going to get hit pretty fucking hard with a discriminatory lawsuit if it turns out that shit was legitimate medication and you're witch hunting for it. Before you do fucking ANYTHING you're going to need to tell your boss that it needs to be tested. Even if he says "it's obvious what it is, I've seen heroine before!" That shit will fuck him up. DOCUMENT.

Read this:
https://i-sight.com/resources/6-steps-to-take-when-you-suspect-an-employee-is-using-drugs/