/biz/ - Business & Finance

VROOM! VROOM!

Sergey's Dad zips through traffic and does a screeching handbrake 180 into the parking lot all the while revving the engine. He then spins the car around once more as he hits the clutch and proceeds to hop out of the vehicle, vertical doors and all and tosses the cigarette to the ground, "Son! It's so good to see you, I just want to thank you and your "investors" for the car."

Sergey beams as smile back and scratches his beard, "you know what they say Dad", he chuckles, "you only raise money from the three Fs; fools, family and friends."

His Dad bursts into laughter and slaps his back as they begin walking along to the temporary Chainlink offices in downtown San Francisco. "But son, what will they say when you're spending so much money?"

"Well, I'm not spending the money" his son sheepishly grins. "The company is, based in the Caymen's, it's outside of US jurisdiction. We just vaccum up the money and drop it there, then we'll just keep piping it to you under your names so if they investigate me, they won't find anything. In fact, I haven't bought myself anything new, I still wear the same shirt day after day." He lifts up his jacket and the familiar plaid shirt is there.

"I see" his Father nods. "But you'll have to show, these i-investors, hahaha" he barely contains himself then wipes away a tear as he keeps laughing. "These investors, they'll want to see something."

"Easy. We hire temporary shills, well basically market promoters all across Asia and North America to keep marketing our token, it's an ever expanding market." And then, he pauses, "as for progress, we set-up some real easy APIs quoting prices and keep drawing out the timeline, so it looks like work is being done but it's not. We show up to some conferences and we never open up any offical offices, moving from here to there so that if anyone does come and knock, they'll see a bunch of wires everywhere and programmers in the corner and then the next day, we just pick and move shop."

>>26643266
x10000 delusion

>>23785931
no you did not. you are a paid poster from the link team and sirgay is a fraud. checked.

>>22497802
>>22497827
>>22497867
>>22497919
>>22497978

>Based in the cayman islands
>Gives same presentation past 3yrs
>Nothing is intellectually patented
>nothing burgers starting with sibos 2017
>JSON Parser
>Countless "insiders"
>Confirmed security by law group
>Manipulated price action
>Rest of the year = same presentation
>More covert price action
>Hire more shills to promote
>Price dumps to hell
>Associated with money laundering
>Washing in and out of exchanges causes minor pumps, but 1000 EOY, right?
>Ungodly price pumps with insider trading and a false accusation from Zeus Capital (actually chainlink) (You are here)
>SEC launches investigation
>Sergey Disappears
>Dev wallet dumps all tokens
>Team freaking out
>Confirmed edit scam all over the news

It would open up the files for secret dumps, expose the manipulation and the shill programs and would probably get the SEC involved. It could end DeFi and all these other little scam projects and expose the insides of cryptocurrencies; the lies, the fraud, the secret dumps and money off-shoring into the caymen's. Most of all, it would punish that fat fuck sergay for his attrocious lies and outright fraud.

They turn a sharp corner and Sergey angrily slaps the back of the head of one of his employees. "God damn it Rory."

"What, what did I do" he stammers out.

"Nothing. Fuck you, that's what." Both Sergey and his Father burst into laughter as they turn another corner, "This is my office, just a black telephone and a oneahole to blow off steam and... of course" He opens up a closet and there in pristine condition are thirty different shirts, all of the same type.

"The classic Steve Jobs. Son, I am impressed. You've learned big business so well, I only wish your Grandfather was here to see you. He would be so proud how you've milked these internet losers for money."

"NEETs, Dad, they're called NEETs. And I couldn't have done it without your backing."

"Ah, I see your philosophy degree is hung up here."

"Yeah, they made fun of me for it, but I can't help but think it helps me out-think the Fudders. Every time they almost catch us and every time we cover it up."

"And your exit plan."

"Russia of course. They won't extradite."

"Well, you've raised so much damn money... is there a chance to actuallly of pulling it off?"

"Not a chance. There is zero need for a token, you know I thought about it for a while but most of these protocols could be funded just as progress goes along. I picked something intentionally easy to obsfucate but also very easy to develop, but just added a layer of decentralization to make it extra hard."

"Why? Why not just deliver oracles?"

"Because they're fucking useless Dad. Like tarot cards or any other indicator, you just need an API to connect. All we're doing is technically setting up a layer for people to create their own APIs to act as a node to deliver data."

"Ahh, yes data... yes certainly Data is a great scam, but it's old no?"

"Of course, "big data, data is the new oil, yada, yada", but just throw a token on there and the word decentralization and bam! You have big money."

>>16592801check your mental state. you guys are super fucking paranoid and completely dellusional. there's no one "shadow fudding" you retards. every day, there are 15 fucking chainlink threads on the catalogue. every day for years, you guys constantly spammed the fuck out of this board is some delusional sense of groupthink. you really think you dont accumulate enemies when you shit on a board so hard and gobble every little thing some fucking nobody does. you forced promoted a celebrity now take the bad press motherfuckers. linkers are well known for being sub 60 iq and plagued with mental problems as they cling to their shiny shit-stained internet tokens. it's well known that the chainlink team is an expert at marketing at that's it. that's all it is. hype marketing for a non-problem with a non-solution that can't be figured out. then they claim that we are the paranoid ones about their obnoxious behavior and shit token. no one cares about your non-progress and we laugh at your dumps and for trusting a fat-russian national with a known past of big busts in non-existant cryptos. sure, next week and next week. keep following the bread crumbs. where is your $10 september? or 1000 eoy? you guys are scammers.

>>16571109

then don't buy link dipshit

The more I argued with chainlinkers, the better I came to know their memetic ramblings. First they counted on the stupidity of their bagholders, and then, when there was no other way out, they themselves simply played up the end of the year (EOY) price. If all this didn't help, they pretended not to not read and not sell, or, if challenged, they ended the thread and reposted four hours later, quoted memes which, if you accepted them, they immediately related to entirely scammy matters, and then, if again attacked, they proposed all FUDDERs were actually chainlink holders and pretended not to know exactly why you denounced their scam. Whenever you tried to attack their beloved master sirgay, your hand closed on a jelly-like meme which divided up and poured through your fingers and they would repost the same four or five type of threads again. But if you really struck one of these bagholder idiots so telling a blow that, observed by the channers, he couldn't help but agree, and if you believed that this had taken you at least one step forward, your amazement was great the next day. The Chainlinker had not the slightest recollection of the thread before, he rattled off his same old nonsense as though nothing at all had happened, EOY, web3, swift protocol, oracles, we love sirgay and do something for a small amount of chainlink and, if indignantly challenged, affected amazement; he couldn't remember a thread, except that he had proved the correctness of his memes the previous day.

>>15998427
>>l-le-let me telll you something, our token with paid promotion and 50 million raised on the backs of single moms and neets has scammed, lied and bought its way into its place led by a devious, sub-human, dumbass fat russian and look we made this happen *clap clap clap*

let me tell you something link scum. in one year link will be forgotten and while you fumble to load bullets into your mosin to hunt sirgay, he'll be on a yacht somewhere getting head from chink prostitutes circling the Bahamas as your entire networth shrinks to zero. there are hundreds if not thousands of crypto projects coming and stinklink will be dethroned soon enough.

>>15794241
>>15794243
>>BUY LINK
>>ORACLES
>>TECHNOLOGY
>>BLOCKCHAIN
>>ERC20 SHIT TOKEN
>>BUY CHAINLINK
>>SIRGAY IS WELL SPOKEN AND A GENIUS AND CREATED BITCOIN
>>WE ARE NOT A CULT
>>BELIEVE IN VAGUE UNDERSTANDINGS
>>A BLOGPOST MADE US PUMP
>>SIBOS, NEXT EVENT, NEXT MONTH, $10, $100, $1000, $10000, $100000, ETC, ETC
>>INSIDER THREAD, BELIEVE ME, NOT PAID BY CHAINLINK TO PROMOTE, BELIEVE ME
>>CHAINLINNK NOT UNDER INVESTIGATION FROM SEC
>>DEVS ARE DUMPING, NO THEY'RE ACTUALLY GIVING IT TO START-UPS
>>IT WILL CHANGE YOUR FUCKING LIFE MAN, ALL IN
>>GET YOUR ENTIRE FINANCIAL FUTURE ON THIS, COME ON MAN
>>COME ON THIS TITANIC WITH USSSS, REEEE, WHY AREN'T YOU BUYING OUR BAGGGSSSS!

We'll see about that Link scum.

>>goes up ten cents
>>ZOMFG NEVER BELOW $2 AGAIN, HERE WE GOOOOOO

shut the fuck up link scum

>>15739142
He inhales deeply then takes out a Cuban cigar. Lighting first a $100 bill then using it light the cigar. You can smell the ashy scent lingering in the room as the smoke drifts up.

"Th-they said... $32 million dollars isn't worth my Oracle solution, that skinny meth twink vitamin can kiss my neet asshole"

"No master, let me kiss your whale 65% ass. Dump it on me."

"go on marine, kiss my disgusting hairy asshole"

Retarded delusions, you prepare yourself for the joy. you pucker up and smooch sirgay's asshole, the sharpie still twitching in your little link boipucci.

"Just imagine all the data being sanitized by reputation, like Uber. No sybil attacks, all ERC20 based."

He lets out another fart and grunts again.

"Another 700k!"

You shout ecstatically, "build that oracle solution, buy that towncrier! hire more devs!"

"I've give you something to cry about" He replies. Once more he grunts again and shits a violent flow of diarrhea, this time getting on your chin and lip.

"Hey man, where's the bathroom?"

"Oh sorry bro! we're jus-just doing a little thing here, we're actually the link conference here, bathrooms are to your right."

"uhhhhhhhhhhh" says the confused onlooker as he quickly scuffles away.

"I'll shill for you Master!" As you cry out, the sloppy heap of shit covering your body as it slides down.

"1k EOY is FUD!"

"No... I will give you the fud." He grunts again and proceeds to let out a gassy fart.

"Another 700k!" He cries out as he lets his sweet, hairy cheeks flap as another shit dumps out.

"Di-di-", the shit overflowing your mouth, "d-didn'... arghhh, didn't read, not selling"

>>15709337
>if I call him a tranny, it will hide from the fact that im coordinating with a dozen other people to vigorously defend the scam ive invested my entirety into even though we're insistent that it doesnt matter whether or not it's shilled on /biz/
Yeah, I've already answered your questions sufficiently. You know damn well that your kind hijacks everything and tries to make it about your scam and your cult. You just don't like that you're incapable of manipulating the answers I've given you towards your favor so you'll keep denying them and doubling down on your brand of sad, desperate childish namecalling to try and come out on top.

>>15687166
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

AHHHH OH NO NO NO NO

THEY'RE CORRELATING A FUCKING VIDEO GAME WITH THEIR FINANCIAL FUTURES AND BARGAINED WITH THE TEAM TO "BUY IN EARLY"

THINKING THAT A PAJEET POTTERY SHIT FLINGING FORUM WOULD MAKE THEM RICH. NOT REALIZING THAT THEIR MEME POTENTIAL WAS WASTED ON A KNOWN FAILURE, FRAUD AND SOON-TO-BE EXTRADITED RUSSIAN SCAMMER.

>>THE PRICE
TRUST ME, INSIDER. SOURCE, TRUST ME

>>THE MEMES
ANYTHING, LITERALLY ANYTHING AT ALL

>>THE BULL
YOU AND YOUR NEET MONEY. JUST THROW INTO THE FUCKING TRASH

>>THE COPE
WHAT THEY USED TO MAKE FUN OF US WITH. YOU LITERALLY FELL FOR A PAID FUCKING SCAM WITH A NON-AMERICAN RUSSIAN NATIONAL OPERATING IN THE US, WITH A FUCKING DREAM PERPETUAL MOTION MACHINE BULLSHIT TOKEN

>>BAHAHAHAHAHA

>>15679290
I dunno anon seems pretty legit. She posted photos of her daughter there