/biz/ - Business & Finance

Is anyone else a bitter and blackpilled ugly male? I am. Everything I do every day is tinged with the knowledge that I'm treated like shit due to my awful looks. And all my nostalgic memories feel the same way. Never having friends in university, never going to any parties when I went to school or university, and so on.

It's not an issue you see in the mainstream media, with its relentless propaganda. Ugly males who are social failures can turn even the biggest Marxist in to a just world Randian. "It's not because of your ugliness or my good looks! It's because of your laziness and my hard work!"

I am stuck in a bind to be honest. Caring too much about the thoughts of others is demoralising. I don't want to humiliate myself in public by trying to socialise. Every single activity, reading, lifting weights, turns in to a dominance hierarchy with its own form of work. But if I think for myself and ignore the useless noise, I suddenly have no motivation.

Background:
>aged 26
>no friends or social life since 18
>no female attention ever
>went through university with zero social experiences
>became the loner nobody talks to within two days of my current job
>never been to pub, club, or party
>missed out on all the 16 - 22 formative social experiences that people look back on fondly (teen crushes, school prom, school dances, university fresher's week, any sort of relationships at all)
>know that women all have 5000 tinder matches and think the average male is ugly; seeing attractive women everywhere is demoralising
>feel completely bitter and detached from others due to being an ugly subhuman; lifting weights did nothing

>tfw so much free time but nothing to fill it with
>tfw have a full time job but spend o little time working I have almost as much free time as a NEET
>tfw main hobby is drinking coffee in public, feeling sad about life, browsing internet on my phone but I have to give up coffee to avoid my sleep being ruined

Guys, what the fuck do? I read books but it just makes me feel like a consumerwhore.

Part of the reason that I do nothing is that I feel like I have to do everything. People call you a pleb for not reading ten trillion boring books, which turns reading in to work. I look at programming and people say you can only be a good programmer if you go through SICP first, which feels like work.

I also abhor the fact that I dont have autism that lets me effortlessly work on somehting for 10 hours in a row. I read a book for 2 hours and feel like a failure when I stop reading. I have FOMO in an infinite number of ways.

I just get so damn fed up at feeling like I have to read ten trillion books. War and peace, boring dostoevsky shit, boring shakespeare shit, boring chaucer shit, boring dickens shit... and on and on. And its absurd because I already see "literary intellectuals" as hack frauds.

I'm so sick of seeing people live their lives based on doing things that genuinely enjoy them while I'm thrall to phoney pseuds. I don't even have the balls to live life according to my intuitions and just ignore what people think.

Will being rich help me get a gf, /biz/?

>tfw mum won't give you anymore money to trade with on robinhood