/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>12215938
I never really compare myself to other people, I just get it in my head that I don't have any friends to go out with so if I go out I'll probably do nothing, spend money, feel even more lonely and then come back home still friendless. I run through that simulation in my head feel like I shouldn't go out then I don't and just lie on my bed in the outfit I put on to go out and then smoke a half pack chug some vodka and then wake up at 2am cursing my damned cycle of shit. I think my brain is shutting down, I don't even find women sexually attractive much anymore, I can't feel anything but a pit in my stomach, I don't use the internet much, I usually just sit and stare which causes me to think about how much I hate decisions I've made and I'm slowly inching closer and closer to an heroing. I really need to make some friends but can't seem to do it like I used to, no matter how much I connect with someone I always have a voice in the back of my head that says "they would be bored with you in 5 minutes, why even try?" I can't seem to express my feelings to anyone, hell there's a 50/50 chance I'll delete this message too