/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>17954557
Have you ever had to give a tour to a group of kids while a bat autofellated itself in the background? I have.

Have you ever watched a male bat get his erection licked by another male while a third male attempts to mount him from behind? I have.

Have you ever seen a bat engage in so much aggressive anal sex that his partner’s anus is left scarred and bleeding? Thankfully I haven’t, but that was because the bats were permanently separated before I arrived.

Bats… have a lot of sex. And a lot of boners. And even the females will hump, mount, and get cozy with each others’ vulvas. It is impossible to get around it, and even castrated bats still get multiple erections each day, which they proceed to lick and rub their faces against… among other things.

I gave my sister a private tour of the bat facility, and her first glimpse of an erect bat penis caused her to yell. It is truly a startling sight for the uninitiated. I will say that I got so used to it I stopped even noticing the boners a couple weeks in- but think about that. Look at that linked picture and think about it. That happened so much that I stopped noticing it.

Masturbation multiple times a day is normal for a bat. Same-sex behavior is normal for a bat. The employees at Disney’s Wild Kingdom, where they have Malayan flying foxes on display, literally have specific training about how to explain bat erections to children.

Let me close out this section with one final story, told to me by a senior keeper: one day, she was going to feed an older male bat, without realizing he had just masturbated and ejaculated on his own face. He sneezed on her.

*dabs on the entire world*

based flying pupperino mlem bleps